Guy's Behavior

How to start being more optimistic and less pessimistic?

I started talking to this guy who I had doubts about. He seemed too ghetto, too old, too much, while I liked to stay in my little bubble. But after having a few conversations with him I realized that actually he was pretty special and his mindset was really healthy. It didn’t take me long to realize I loved talking with this guy. He was so optimistic and it was contagious. I’ve been a pessimistic person for a few years. A really bad breakup, the loss of my brother, my parents being unsupportive, losing friendships and a bunch of other life factors have made me feel like i was just life’s punching bag. And I think I went through life trying to find ways to ease the blow I kept expecting from every encounter where I might not be in control. Talking to this guy I felt like he was handsome and charming, funny, interesting and probably a good husband material (not that I ever saw myself being able to attract a husband despite being called gorgeous by everybody I encounter). But I really do just want to have him as a friend. I like to hear him talk about his life and his beliefs. He is so refreshing. And it was so nice of him to tell me that he saw potential in me that I didn’t see in myself. I regretted being so pessimistic not just towards him but about life in general. And my pessimistic nature has probably been interfering with my belief that we could be long term friends. I keep thinking that I might drive him away by not being as interesting or positive or funny or successful as he is. I keep worrying that I might not be able to add anything to his life, or anybodies for that matter. And even if it doesn’t work out I desperately want to take his advice. I want to be more optimistic. But it’s way easier said than done. It’s one thing to tell myself that I am going to try to see the bright side of things. But it’s another when I just expect the worst and I know that trying to convince myself it’s not coming will just make the hit so much harder.
How to start being more optimistic and less pessimistic?
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