Why does a guy at work flirt with me when he has a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

First of all I do like him as a person. He’s kind to me, funny, have tons in common so we get on very well.

I was unaware he even had gotten back with his ex (they broke up 2 years ago and got back together after Christmas)

We have always been kinda flirty with each other, teasing, touching, compliments on my body and looks etc etc.

He still continues to be flirty with me and I tried to back off a bit but I don’t know what to do because I do like him and I do have feelings for him, always have done, and I want to respect that he has a girlfriend but I also don’t want to lose our friendship.

[DaveJord]

Well this a classic dilemma. So it says your 30 to 35 so your no stupid kid working at McDonalds. So you and this guy had this flirty relationship and it was give and take and you both probably liked it. But guess what nobody took the initiative to make a move or express their desire for more. No its work place thing and it awkward.

Guys do not flirt with girls they are not attracted to, but in all that time he was flirting with you what did you do about it? Did you play this mind game with your self of constantly thinking what did he really mean by that, do you think he is into me or is he just flirting?

So what happened, nothing happened because nobody did anything about it and now he is with this other girl, when you had all this opportunity to do something yourself... but no you kept waiting on this guy to do something more. Or you never took his flirting as sign or you just never took him seriously until he got with someone else.

So why does he keep flirting with you because when he is with a girl friend... because that is what you two do now, because you never did anything else about it when you had plenty of chance to act on it before. So now for him nothing has changed your just two work friends that joke and flirt with each other because that is what you do and have always done. But now he is with someone else and that changes things for you some how, when you did nothing about it sooner.

So what do yo do about it, well you tell him that if he ever breaks up with his girlfriend that you want like to go out with him. Or you say nothing, step up you flirting game and a wait and hope they break up anyway and then you take some responsibility here and make a move and stop putting it on him.

[Asker]

Thank you…I needed to hear this! I’m 30 and he is slightly older than me (your age) so I held back slightly as I didn’t know if he was just being friendly.

[DaveJord]

Guys in work place situation have to be very careful about sexual harassments cases... so they can only do so much and hope they don't cross any lines. So in work place situation the women had to step a little more than usual. Its not like a guy straight up ask her out, and if he is old he probably thinking like you, not sure if its real or just friendly.

[spartan55]

Why? Because he's a scumbag cheater, and you are flirting with a dude in a relationship which doesn't make you much better. And please stop with the "losing the friendship" bit. There is no friendship if you are both acting like this.

[Asker]

I didn’t know he was back with her until a few weeks ago so that’s not exactly true but I understand what you’re saying thanks.

[spartan55]

Yeah, but a friend would not withhold that information from you.

[WhitneySnow]

He likes both of you. That’s why most people cheat (at least in my admittedly limited experience).

[Asker]

I doubt he likes me but thanks!

[WhitneySnow]

If he’s being flirty with you he at least kinda likes you

[Fireguy17]

Some people are very gregarious by nature, and he may just come across that way and mean nothing or wouldn't do anything.
However, he may be flirting with you because he even though he is with his girlfriend, he may be interested in you.

[Asker]

Thanks. He is quite outgoing…it’s hard to tell. Sometimes I think he’s just being nice then one day he tells me I look sexy or randomly texts me. I do catch him looking at me often too. But yeah maybe he’s just like that with everyone.

[Fireguy17]

Or he has the hots for you.
Ask him out for coffee and see how it goes, any food trucks in your area, tell him about it and ask him to join you.
Wear something appropriate but a bit revealing to work, accidentally drop something and look to see if he is watching you.
Touch his hand, not in the work place, but pull away.
You can tell, or just ask him if he is interested in you.

[Emanon25]

Untrustworthy guy