Am I a hookup or is he interested?

[Adele_26]

I went on a first-date, and I thought it went really well. He picked me up (30 min. Out of his way). We have a ton in common. We went out for drinks and then went to his place and watched Netflix. Wellll we all know how that ends up lol.

So after the fact, he does NOT touch me. When we were going to sleep, he said he couldn’t turn towards me bc he has a bad back (which if true then okay no prob). The next morning, anytime we were walking, he was ALWAYS ahead of me. He didn’t even go in for a hug when he dropped me off. Before I got out, I asked if he wanted to hang out again and to be blunt, and he said that he does and feels really good.

I get that it’s a first-date and hooking up with him probably has a big impact on how he views me, but almost every time I ask a guy what he’s looking for, he dances around his words whether positive or negative. So, it’s hard for me to tell if a guy is a “I just want to fuck”.

[Nawlins34]

Both: He's interested in hooking up again. He's not serious about a relationship with you.

I'll break it down -
"He picked me up (30 min. Out of his way)" - This doesn't count because most guys will travel via plane if there's a 50% chance they'll have sex. Don't go by this.

"So after the fact, he does NOT touch me" - Hook-up flag# 1

"he said he couldn’t turn towards me bc he has a bad back" - I'm going to ask you to replay the positions during the "netflixing and chilling" events in your head again and ask yourself if they could be done with a bad back.

"anytime we were walking, he was ALWAYS ahead of me" - Hook-up flag #2

"He didn’t even go in for a hug when he dropped me off" - Hook-up flag #3

"I asked if he wanted to hang out again and to be blunt, and he said that he does and feels really good" - He got sex from you without an argument, so he feels confident he can do this again. This isn't the answer you think it is.

His WORDS give no hint of wanting more with you. His ACTIONS say you are a hook-up.

I hope I've helped, be safe and good luck.

[Adele_26]

Thank you so much for actually educating me instead of belittling!!

[lightbulb27]

don't assume he knows what he wants. you will have to figure it out, or help him work through his reservations about commitmentting to something more. most guys fear responsibility until they are mature, don't want pain, they just want easy fun. that's the problem, relationships can be work. So by giving him the drug he desires, you weaking your hand to get what you want... assuming some commitment.

[Adele_26]

Meh commitment isn’t necessarily what I want. I don’t mind hooking up, but I expect basic respect and for him to be blunt on where he stands. Things get fucked up when there’s not honest communication.

[lightbulb27]

I agree with you. Some are mature to do that, others are not. good luck.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the idiot that said you are not marriage material. My guess is that he feels guilty for what he did.

[Adele_26]

Yeah double standard much 😂

[Opinion Owner]

I delete these idiot immediately. They don't deserve a voice on these questions.

[spartan55]

Never mind the complete disrespect he showed you. Guess that doesn't bother you.