Guys: if a guy smiles nervously, is he flirting or is he uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

So there is a guy in my tennis class that has been staring at me and checking me out. I tried talking to him but he avoids me. So today a girl arrived to class and she was talking to him and she kept flirting with him, when I turned to see him, he was blushing and had this nervous smile and turned to look my way. I cannot be sure if he was also flirting with her? Nervous? Uncomfortable? And why even look my way when this girl was giving him the attention?

(I asked this question before but got no responses, I’d appreciate some opinions , advices or insight about this) thanks 😊

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, this definitely sounds like a guy who is flirting... but is just... a shy guy who isn't entirely comfortable flirting. But no, this guy doesn't sound uncomfortable.

As for why turn your way when the other girl is giving him the attention? That's easy. This guy is already so shy that he has trouble with the whole eye-contact-thing. In other words, the guy is so nervous (in general, when it comes to flirting/women) he doesn't know what to do with his eyes. So he "looks away" when you look at him, and he's essentially doing the same thing with this other chick who's being a more overt flirt. He doesn't know what to do with his eyes. He is trying mostly to "look away" from the girl flirting-hard right in front of them. My guess, honestly, is that you just happened to be standing in the direction his eyes went when they "looked away" from the girl right in front of him.

She is making him nervous... sure... and uncomfortable... I guess... but mostly he's enjoying the attention. This is a guy flirting... and enjoying himself... he just hasn't figured out how to be remotely smooth about it yet.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I think you might be right. I just have a feeling he was really enjoying the attention from this girl and so I’ll just look somewhere else from now on I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️😄

[SteveSmith1985]

I think that might definitely be premature. Now just because a guy (and ESPECIALLY a guy like this)... seems to be enjoying the attention from a girl who is hard-core flirting with him...

Well that has got absolutely nothing to do with how much he might like you vs how much he might like this other girl. First of all, clearly, this guy does not know how to process/respond well to flirting (be it subtle glances from you, or overt unsubtle flirting from this other girl).

This motherfucker is having trouble maintaining eye-contact. What exactly DO YOU EXPECT his reaction is going to be to this girl's overt flirting? Well yea... he's enjoying the attention (as anyone would). But... he doesn't know what do DO with it! He doesn't know what to do ABOUT IT! He is at the mercy of forces beyond his control.

Let me ask... let's say (despite it not being something in your character to do...) YOU flirted with this guy in the exact way this other chick flirted with him. How would he react? Exactly the same way!!

So, if this new girl ends up being all over him, or monopolizing his time or whatever, then... I guess you may not get a chance to "get to know" this guy better.

But it's completely unfair to think that the way he acted in the face of flirty-girl SAYS ANYTHING WHATSOEVER about how interested he may or may not be in YOU. It also says NOTHING about which of the two of you "he might like better".

DO NOT READ THINGS INTO THIS THAT ARE NOT THERE!!! 🙂

[Asker]

You are absolutely right, only thing is that my intuition tells me he liked that girl. Also I know my worth and if he is incapable of seeing it and won’t make an effort to approach me (after I tried approaching him and he avoided me), I won’t be that other girl looking to flirt with him.

[WhiteBoyChill]

He definitely lacks confidence

[Jamesshinobi]

people smile uncomfortably when they are uncomfortable...

[serious]

Not sure, but he could be.