My ex who hurt me plenty, keeps trying to come back into my life. I mean.. we hurt eachother in the past. We were both stubborn and immature. We broke up 6 years ago. During these years he kept on trying to talk with me. He was talking with the walls. This year we reconnected. Right now I am sceptical and cold every single time he reaches out. I still have strong feelings for him but I wouldn't jump into his arms blindly. I reject him but in the same time I tell him I still care. I reject him but I let him hug me. I reject him but I would say Yes, let's try this again but instead I say: NO. A few days ago he blocked me and wished me a good life. He said that I m not good for his mental health. That he can't be just friends with me and that's why he prefers to back off forever. Overall he is showing me that he is selfish, right? He has no patience for us to work it out slowly. Am I right or am I not? So do you think he was serious? He just blocked and he will move on? Never again reach back? Please, your honest opinions!!
What does it mean when a man keeps trying to come back even if he was rejected?
What you’ve described is a really unhealthy, drama fueled relationship; you’re actions and his. You will thank him for finally putting an end to this cycle. Take this time to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Adult children of emotionally immature parents is a great book which has a list of what good looks like. I’m guessing this hasn’t been modeled for you. That sucks but thank goodness as adults we get to choose our own adventure. So, to the work. Educate yourself, understand yourself, forgive yourself and him. Learn a new skill and get off the drama addiction.
Also, look into Attachment styles. Everyone should understand the three types and how to have a healthy attachment style. Good luck!
Don’t reach out ! Don’t go back ! Trust me ! If he can’t be friends with you his intentions are all in the wrong place. Don’t do it girl trust me! There is always someone better and compatible.
Honest opinion, hmmm? You both sound like children, that's my first thought. You hurt one another before, and you're still doing it by playing games with each other. What does "reconnect" even mean? You rejected him in an ongoing manner for 6 years by not talking, but now what - you've agreed to TALK MORE and THEN reject him?
What does this mean "I reject him but in the same time I tell him I still care."? The only thing that could possibly mean is " I care that you're ok, but I don't want to be WITH you to see that it happens". So if that's the case, let him go.
You asked if he was serious? Six years is a long time to beg, but I don't know specifics. Was he seeing other women? Did he come back only when he was NOT seeing anyone else? Maybe he was serious? It's the old "hard tellin', not knowin" thing.
From what you're saying, sounds lik you really don't WANT to work anything out slowly. If you did, you'd have talked about that with him and mentioned it here. You want someone to tell you "you're right, he's wrong", but about what? Really sounds to me like you're going to miss the attention and ego stroke of his groveling more than you ever missed him. If he doesn't every contact you again, it will be the best thing for the both of you. You have too much distrust between you to ever be healthy.
Good for him for knowing he can do better. Clearly you need to distinguish the difference between attention and a healthy situation, which is what he was able to do.
So what If he never texts you again? What did you lose? A headache, a messy situation, someone who wasn't right for you.
If you spent half of the time on prioritizing yourself that you are worrying about this situation, you would would shine so bright. For every man who is 'not ready', there's two behind him who wouldn't waste an opportunity, having you in doubt.
I'm actually in that scenario right now. My ex from 3 years ago says she wants to see me now but doesn't. Then she meets with some new guy from online just after she broke up with a guy she's been with for the past 3 years and she sees him for multiple days and hours yet I seen her 30 mins in that same time. So... she has pushed me day by day further where I will have to cut her off. I'm not going to entertain these games. I did hurt her in the past unknowingly but she never opened up about it so this happens. If we would see each other we can have a talk and see where things went wrong. So might as well just cut her off with good intentions I hope she does well.
Theyre bored, can't find anything better so in a way they're settling for you, and --- The article linked below can eloquently share the reasons why and hopefully it will strengthen your resolve to continuing MOVING ON with your life and not accepting the past back into your life.
Omg. Sounds like a headache relationship. Toxic even. You want to be together but you don’t want to be together. Hot and cold. The reason why you guys keep coming back to each other coz you guys allow it and you guys have nothing going on with your separate lives that’s why the vicious cycle never ends! In the words of Dua Lipa, if you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him. 😜
You were clearly bad for him. Shame on you fore clearly leading him on with words and hugs. You realized that you are terrible for his health and he needed to back away big time.
Stubborn and immature is right, you described yourself to a T. You refuse to admit that you liked his attention. Playing games like that will keep you single. You're too old for that crap
A little harsh and judgmental, don’t you think? Clearly this person has attachment issues. I’m going to guess some toxic shot went down in childhood. Let’s focus on actions and not the person, shall we?
It's fair is what I think. You're more than welcome to post your own opinion than to reply to mine. Her actions is toxic and she kept doing it for a long time, therefore she's exactly how I described. Childhood or not, she's old enough to know if she wants someone in her life or not, but why put that at someone else's expense and toy with them?
You're more than welcome to try to comfort this grown woman who chose to put herself in such a spot.
He can't accept the truth, y'all done. Aaand he wants to try again thinking he can probably change your mind. Because without you, he's gonna be alone. And being alone for god knows when is a pain close as going to hell but on earth.
If all u said is no and didn't communicate that it will be yes if u take things slow then no I don't feel he is being selfish he is simply doing what he needs to because he can't deal with having u as a friend
What the hell does women mean by that, the man kept begging you for a year and you refused and humiliated him, and now you say he's selfish, if there is anyone selfish here. It's you, and now you should beg him to come back, you can't push him to his limit and after accuse him, i had the same story, but now it's done,
He blocked you because keeping you out of his mind is the only way he will move on. If you both keep contacting each other then your just suffering more In the long run.
For some girls, no means maybe, that the man needs to fight over them. It's a shallow mind game. On other occasions, the man just want the girl and initiates the "fight" for her, I know some men who were successful after being that stubborn.
Finally someone said the truth. Many guys are justifying as if he really loves her. Bullshit. Actions speak louder, if he really loved her then he wouldn't have hurt her or betray her multiple times when in a relationship. Coming back again and again means he is lonely and devoid of any better options.
Men will even construct questions in order to figure you out but at the same time will be dishonest to their own questions. They'll ask whether u got this close to someone ever before, but when you answer and ask them back, they lie that no you're the only one... they're clowns I swear.
Yeah so thirsty that they behave like animals or lesser than a human form. We as humans got so much better brains, capabilities, compassion yet they chose to remain below it.
Oh i just read the rest, well seems like that you can't let go. Let him move on and accept that it's over. No is no and he has every right to decline a friendship with you and well block you. Don't sit around waiting for him to come back, there is no back, it's over, done.
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