Why won't he ask me out?

[Anonymous]

So there is this guy at work that I like and he told me that he likes me. He always notices small things about me like if I have tanned and he once said that I had a nice outfit. We also give each other small gifts at work (he bought me chocolate and I folded a paper boat for him). When we talk we always have a good time and laugh a lot. He always tells me his plans for the day or he talks about his friends to me. He also talks about how his parents are to me. I even asked him if he wanted to go for a walk sometime and he said yes but we never agreed what day. I asked him the day after what days he was free but every day he mentioned I was working so I left the room and never mentioned the walk again. It has been a month since I asked him and he never mentioned it again, but at work we act like nothing happened. I once messed up at work and he grabbed my hand and lead me to the shelf where I made my mistake.

What I don't understand is why he won't ask me out if we like each other and when I text him he answers within a few minutes but he really does not continue the text conversation. On the other hand when we talk in real life he asks a lot of questions and we talk a lot. I feel confused.

[AmandaYVR]

Ask yourself this - why don't I ask out guys that I like?

It's the same reason, same answer. Fear of rejection.

Yet, guys have been in this role, been told to do the asking, chasing, while girls sit back and value themselves on how often they get asked, chased.

But things have changed. Many things are different now in society. MeToo movement happened, there are men and women in equal numbers in the workforce, a push for equality evened a lot of things out, but not when it comes to the dating world. Girls have been taught, "Never chase. You are the prize. Guys like the chase." All wrong.

The problem here is really about fear and risk. One of you - preferably both of you - have to take a risk, bite the bullet.

Tell yourself this - no risk, no reward. If you hang back all your life and never go after anything, you will end up with nothing. Even risk-adverse people can learn to become more comfortable with it. The key is you make calculated decisions. You take in all the information, all the pros and cons, and assess risk vs. reward.

Dating coworkers often goes awry. So I'm not saying you must ask this guy out. I'm just answering why guys don't always ask girls out. It's the same reason you don't.

[Guy13]

This comment has nothing to do with how wonderful he is. Im sure he's a great guy...

Some guys have a hard time with confidence and in general are not leaders or man-up. Lots of men, from my experience, are kind of spineless like that these days.

[Avicenna]

Probably because you're a co-worker

[Iron_Man]

Not sure you ask him find out what happens

[In_Trance]

He doesn't like you enough to bother