Is there a way to get him back after really hurting him?

[Anonymous]

I'm so dumb, I really really like him. He is an amazing guy, my type, really nice and really deeply listened to you when you had problems and wanted to help in everyway he could. I played hard to get after one of my friends said it would work. We talked and hung out for a while and it was a feeling of infatuation after meeting him. Then, I ghosted him. I was unsure about my feelings and wanted to know whether he would chase me or not. The next couple days, he messaged me and said he'd like to go out with me but I said that, I had someone else and didn't see him that way and saw him as a friend. He said that he must've misunderstood and that was it. I would still give him hints of liking him like being near him and here's the worse part I would try to make him jealous by talking to other men in front of him and not him. He never contacted me again but it was a couple months when I have had enough, so I asked him out. I told him I listened to a stupid friend to play hard to get and he told me he liked me a lot still but was hurt for those couple months and would rather remain friends. I wish I could go back in time and not play these stupid ass games because now he doesn't trust me.

[yucychan]

I apologize in advance because I will not be mincing my words.

While your friend gave you shitty advice, the onus is still on you to discern what is right and what is wrong. You are an adult, you are capable of making your own decisions. You need to take responsibility for your own actions.

Your friend told you to play hard to get, did she also told you to behave like a cheating slut? Because if you told him you are already seeing someone but is still talking and flirting with other men, and then also giving him hints that you like him, then that's what you are, a cheating slut.

Did your friend specifically told you to do those things or you came up with it yourself? - To tell him you are already seeing someone else, that you are unavailable to anyone. - Telling him you only saw him as a friend and that you had never liked him that way. - To flirt with other men in front of him and then ghost him for months.

While your friend did told you to play hard to get, it was you that broke his heart.

My advice, owe up and apologize to him sincerely, you at least owe him that much. Then give him time to heal. If he forgives you and wants to be with you, then good for you. If he decides that you will only be a friend to him, respect his decision and move on.

[MrGuyao]

Are those signs indicative of a cheat? There's a girl acting very closely what you're saying.

[AmandaYVR]

I know you care about him, but your behaviour was really not ok. Sorry to say you've probably lost him for good. And now you've put him out into the world, feeling hurt and dejected, and bitter towards girls, wondering why they behave so manipulatively.

Spread this info around - GUY DO NOT LIKE THE CHASE. It's a myth.

There's a small proportion of those who sort of do (it's ~ 20% or less, in every poll), but it is absolutely not the majority, and this myth circulated by women is causing a lot of problems in gender dynamics and relationships, even platonic ones. So end it now. Do your part to tell others.

Does playing hard to get ACTUALLY work?

[Sandeeppingping]

There is a way obviously, it's in the "I still like you a lot", the other thing is "I'm still hurt", so I'd rather remain friends, that's because he's protecting himself and doesn't want to be the dude who gets played and then the moment you show up again he's like yea I like you so much let's make it happen, like he wants to take his time and make sure he sees that you're putting in the effort to show that you're genuine, both in actions and words, and in being interested and sorry.

Personally, if your intentions are good I hope you simply stop playing games and that it works out well between the 2 of you, if not I hope for his sake that he sees right through you; anyway, I know how it feels when a girl purposely talks to other guys to make you jealous, it hurts more than you might imagine, what's worse is that he questions your relationship with those other guys too, not cool.

[Pegases]

You'd be surprised at how often women give advice to their so called friends that isn't good advice at all. One thing I've noticed about women is that it's tough to find good friends as a woman. Unfortunately I think this guy is over it, so it's best you lick your wounds and listen to your gut rather than your friends next time. Not to sound cliche but you're young, there will be other guys. The most important thing for you to do, is to learn from your mistakes. Guys are experiencing more and more women these days that play games, so if you want to stand out, don't play games. You can move things forward with a guy without spilling you're guts to him by simply being yourself. Good luck.

[Wubs3000]

Why are people so immature to play dumbass games like that it never works. Men don't see you saying you have someone else and still want to chase you. Men don't see you ghost them and still think you want them. Men don't see you going out with other guys and want to chase you. Sure, we might get jealous but that only makes us think that you already have someone or better options and its better to just swiftly move on.

[slatyb]

Probably not. I hope you've learned a lesson: games are for children. Emotionally mature adults won't waste time on them.

[spartan55]

Why would he after that? He will always think you aren't serious in the back of his mind.

[Still-alive]

you fucked up. its up to him to accept you or not. i would just not look back after reading this...

[Twalli]

You probably can't get him back. Use this as a learning experience. Some guys like the chase, but all guys like the prize. I won't chase, but even guys who do wouldn't reject a girl because he doesn't have to chase her.

[FilmGuy93]

I mean... time heals all wounds, so hopefully you'll get another chance, but you missed your shot this time around.

[Anonymous]

If I were him I would leave you in my past. I don't tolerate women who play games like that, and you confirmed that's why you behaved the way you did any knowingly hurt him like that.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, that's the unfortunate thing about playing games and not being honest with people. It breaks the trust.

[Fuentes]

Maybe but ME I would block you & pretend you're not alive.

[Anonymous]

Good. You screwed up. Suffer.

[In_Trance]

probably not