Friend zone on second date?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy online, we had a short but nice first date and kissed couple times during the date. It seemed to be going well. The next day he texted me and said it was nice to meet me. Two days later he asked me out for dinner but I had plans already and asked him to do it on weekend. He doesn't text much, I'd say a bit less than what I think an interested person normally do, but he does use some positive responses and asked for a second date. However, during the second date he said he's not feeling it and we should just be friends because we have common interests. Why would he ask for a second date in the first place if he is not feeling it? (We didn't have sex yet)

[Anonymous]

Sometimes people want to be sure before they reject someone. You maybe had some qualities he liked, but not enough to pursue you further.

[Asker]

That makes more sense! Thanks!

[katestar]

Definitely friend zone. I have to agree with you on that.

[spartan55]

You weren't showing him any interest.

[katestar]

Really?

[spartan55]

Yeah... really

[katestar]

My guy friend who grew up with me isn't interested in me in a really romantic way.

[spartan55]

Okay what does that have to do with anything?

[katestar]

Good point. Maybe I was just wondering. Who knows. I'm curious about how I'm feeling.

[spartan55]

Huh? You are curious about how you are feeling... okay...

[katestar]

I'm feeling good. Except that. I've been turned down by my guy friend. 4 years.

[spartan55]

Okaaay, I thought you were talking about a guy you met online.

[katestar]

No. I didn't. The guy friend who grew up with me since I was a teenager. He was really real. It wasn't online.

[spartan55]

But this post is about a guy you met online. You are making no sense right now.

[katestar]

I'm sorry about that. I'm confused about this. I won't do it again.

[spartan55]

I'm here to help, just need to make sense of what you are asking.

[katestar]

It's just that I've been thinking about what happened. I did that. My guy friend who grew up with me and I did that. We've been staying in touch. On Instagram.

[spartan55]

You did what?

[katestar]

That was a long time ago.

[spartan55]

Okay, are you responding to a different thread or something?

[katestar]

Yes. Something like that

[spartan55]

Great, sounds good.

[spartan55]

Stop wasting my time then.

[katestar]

Sorry about that. I'm not going to bother you again.

[Asker]

Shit did I mess up? 😳 I did kiss him back and enjoyed it though. I was waiting for him to make a move. Now I'm not sure what to do after friendzoned.

[katestar]

He kissed you? And you kissed him back?

[spartan55]

Like I said, he didn't think you were interested.

[katestar]

I didn't think that he was interested in me.

[spartan55]

He asked you on a second date didn't he?

[spartan55]

He kissed you didn't he?

[Asker]

Yes he kissed me on first date, not second date. He asked me out on second date but then friendzone me.

[katestar]

Wow. That's hard for you

[SiberFox]

Probably didn't get the impression you're invested

[Asker]

So no chance now?

[SiberFox]

I wouldn't say that, but I don't know the guy. Best I can deduce is that he got the impression you were using him for free meals/entertainment.

[SiberFox]

Are you replying to the right convo?

[SiberFox]

Are you the question asker? I'm confused, what are you replying to?

[SiberFox]

If you've a question feel free to ask, I simply don't know where this came from. Good luck.

[SiberFox]

there's no real way to make it happen. If you like him tell him, he might be oblivious to his own feelings, like you already or he might turn you down. Rip the bandaid off, good luck, sorry I can't be of more help.

[Asker]

Well the first time I got my own thing and paid for it, the second time he got dinner and I got the drinks after, so I feel it's pretty even. If that is the case I wouldn't even bother. Lol

[SiberFox]

Emotionally invested not financially invested

[Wise4myage]

Yes, you have been friend zoned.

[Asker]

But why the second date? 🤷‍♀️

[katestar]

Well. I'm making a opinion on it.

[katestar]

If I was her. I'd love to go on a second date.

[katestar]

If you want to go with him. If you are that someone. Of course