Tough guy is always fleeing and super nervous around me. Is he intimidated by me?

[Ginniehere]

I started at a new company and there is one group lead who caught my eye. But we really didn’t have a good start. I am kinda bubbly personality so I introduced myself to him and he just smirked and went away. He called my boss telling me I’m brisk and should call him with his last name addressed like Mr. Smith. I’ve been trying to setup a meeting as we have some topics to discuss and he cancels them or don’t show up although he accepted the meeting. Sometimes it is work-related he cancels which is fine, sometimes he just leaves and goes home…I caught him last week telling him we should talk and he was completely nervous and talking a lot and avoiding looking in my eyes. He never talks much also with others. So yesterday he accepted the meeting of one hour. I passed his office 5 minutes before the meeting and he was working. I picked up my stuff and went back, he was gone. After 30 minutes into the meeting he was there and we discussed topics. He was again very nervous and playing with his hands and looking seldomly in my eyes. After 20 minutes, his staff came along and waited outside and within the sentence he just said he got up and went to them. The colleagues then said (which I found hilarious) you told us to be here 10 minutes before the minutes so here we are.
He doesn’t act this way around others (also female) and is more relaxed and his background is army-based so he is used to direct communication. I do believe he has an emotional trauma. Can anyone tell me why he acts this way? Is he intimidated by me?

[CaptainOverthink]

I know that behavior..
Obviously I can't speak for him.
But I do exactly what he does when I meet a girl I am attracted to at work.

Normally and around other people (regardless of gender) I can be bubbly, assertive and extremely social.
In the right atmosphere I am relaxed, has no expectations on me to act with an agenda. Conversational flow is easy, I'm less distracted and able to be interested in other people.

When I meet someone I feel attraction for that I feel like she has some interest for me too, then I become speechless, get low confidence, nervous and paranoid.
I easily gets lost in thought about the issue, trying to find a way to either resolve it or avoid it depending on if I decide to risk my job or not.
Because being nervous or inconsistent can easily be seen as creepy even if at first it don't. When that happens it can ruin your workplace, especially if rumors start going.

My reason:
It's partly a trauma but it's also that I'm inexperienced.

Learning how to be, relax, how to read correctly between the lines, how not to overthink it and so on.. it takes loads of mistakes along the way and if you're not 15-20 anymore then you have less and less margin to fail before the consequences gets serious.
People expect you to know by now and if you don't they judge fast and wrong.

Combine this with social trauma from witchhunts or similar shaming-tactics gets you locked into an emotional state like that, especially if it's at work.
Then it's hard to get anything done.

What I would have wanted:
- Help: If I try to get better then I want to get met half-way and I'd want understanding snd patience.
- Peace: If I try to avoid or dismiss it then I'd want that reflected. But I know that may be hard if you're a bubbly person and if eyes gets locked naturally. It's just so hard..

[CaptainOverthink]

This could be something else entierly though. Maybe he is hiding something else..
I recognise the behavior from my own situations but it could be something else causing similar signs.

[TroyDT]

He's a wannabe tough guy who is attracted to you but is either involved or their is a company policy or tradition against dating those at a lower level in the company hierarchy.

[SueShe]

The fact that you tell us that you are "bubbly" leads me to believe that this person has experience with others having a similar character type and knows better not to try to interfere with them because, unless he has a strong personality, he will not be able to keep up with you.

I did experience myself that some "bubbly" people tend to want attention through their behavior. He is probably not too much of an extrovert person that is capable to keep up with you and would rather avoid you than to have to try to get you under control.

Some people don't feel at ease in the company of those that express themselves in an ostentatious way and that give the impression that they seek the attention.

[Pinay_ako]

many things.
It could be (not in order if importance)

1. He’s seriously attracted and awe of you! That’s why he’s tongue tied, can’t look you in the eye, retreats when he sees you! You make him so nervous!

2. He’s intimidated by your presence. He’s seems to be an introvert. And you’re bubbly.

3. He doesn’t like you. Maybe he thinks you’re too loud or arrogant for his liking. I don't know 🤷‍♀️. Or you’re taking center stage and he’s not very happy about that.

Just try to level with him in interaction. See where it goes

[BlueScorpio]

Sounds like social anxiety? I kinda feel that way and looking people in the eye makes nervous and uncomfortable.

[Guy13]

Obviously he wants to keep distance between you two. Respect it …

[CelticCrusader]

Honney, a man will face a mountain lion in battle if they must but a woman you have feelings for can be scarier than that mountain lion.

[Sarahplus2]

He is intimated by you probably because you are a woman

[Jamesshinobi]

no. he thinks you are a slut and doesn't want to me #metoo'ed.

[Avicenna]

he's not intimidated,, he's attracted

[Anonymous]

That's a sign he likes you.

[Iron_Man]

Maybe so