Is He Emotionally Unavailable?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy online... we met briefly once, and he continued pursuing me via WhatsApp.. he kept arranging to meet me, but let me down without letting me know he would not be meeting up with me... I told him that I felt Disrespected by his behaviour... and he rang me and left apologetic messages on my phone... he had been drinking.. I accepted his apologies, as they seemed Genuine... and although he was ringing and messaging me regularly... it has now lessened, despite the fact that he says he really cares about me... I want to get to know him, but he won't meet up with me, althoughbhe says intermittently that he still really has feelings for me... I really can't make him out... is he Emotionally unavailable, or maybe drinking on the quiet... he did say that he had been drinking for a few days... and I am not pushing for a relationship... he wanted one... but I need to get to know him first...

I just want to get to know a bit more about him, as I genuinely care about him as a person... and am trying to understand the dynamics here... is it also possible that he may be a Dismissive Avoidant? ... Thank You for any Insight or advice you can give me...

[SueShe]

"... he had been drinking..."

Those words are enough to cut the ties instantly without asking anything. Not only was he emotionally unavailable but he was also physically unfit to go to any place and meet with someone you are supposed to make a good first impression on.

Besides being a huge red flag and an unacceptable behavior, mainly if this gentleman is in the same age group as you are, that also means that he has a real serious problem with alcohol and meeting with alcoholics is never a good idea.

Run as long as you still can and before you are doing too much damage to your own emotions by liking a person like that.

If alcohol played such an important role that he forgot about your date, that means that alcohol did play an important role for most of his life and you are certainly not the person that will be able to get him off this addiction.

Good luck but be wise and don't risk to lose your dignity and self-esteem.

[PrettyPriya]

🥨🥨

[SueShe]

@PrettyPriya that sounds like an excellent idea. Accompany them with a glass of virgin banana daiquiri and your have an excellent aperitive snack and drink. Just about the right time for me anyway :-)

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe there is a smoothie place in a shopping centre that I visit on occasion. One of my favourites is their banana daiquiri.

All are non-alcoholic of course but so delicious. Shame they have not opened a pretzel shop next door. Maybe someday. Hope you enjoy your week-end. 🙂

[SueShe]

@PrettyPriya Maybe you could see if you could open up a "Priceless Priya's Pretty Pretzels Place" as a sub-franchiser at that place.

Now try to say it fast without twisting your tongue :-)

I do enjoy my week-end off and hope you are doing the same.

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe Haha I can’t get that out of my mouth quickly. I may have a new career on my hands. I will have to send you some samples and some pretzel bites for your huskies.

Oh, for your enjoyment…

Does birth control pollute the water? ↗

[SueShe]

@PrettyPriya Now that is a good one. I think you can nominate it for best troll question of the month!

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe That was my thought as well. I am unsure I have ever seen such a ridiculous claim on this site, and that is saying a lot.

I have made sure to reply and let the asker know who he is. Enjoy your day. 🙂

[Chrysantenum95]

It could be. His actions speaks louder than his words. All of it are not good at all especially the drinking part.

[Chrysantenum95]

Thanks for MHO

[Guy13]

If he is not going to meet up with you then he is lying about something. The cruel behavior when drinking is likely the same when not drinking. If he is not meeting you in person then he is dishonest. Stay away as that is a huge red flag. Do not let him suck upon your emotions like a parasite. Cut him loose...

[FilmGuy93]

He might be dismissive avoidant, but it honestly sounds more like he's just a mental/emotional trainwreck that you're probably better off avoiding.

[Wise4myage]

Have you expressed to him how you feel?

[Anonymous]

It sure seems like it.