Im being used by a guy but im using him too, should I end it?

[Anonymous]

he uses me for my body, and i use him for validation! I've been told its unhealthy but im not sure. it can be draining since he's giving me mixed signals, he always says he likes me when he's drunk, but never sober..

stop talking to him

nah its all good

[Rosexøxø]

was all good until there was a "third member" mentioned sneaking in your relationship.

Trust me you'd do better in an all-human threesome, than a threesome with substances..

Get out NOW because fire is at your heels lol

Try to find a guy who will use you but, sober. I mean it could be seen as using or just fulfilling needs. It's usually how it works: Women get desired validation. Men get desired sex.

Also for the sake of healthy living and knowing you can do better- just get yourself a good guy and realize you're every bit deserving of one. Plenty of guys who'd be hard working and up to validating you with you caring about their need, instead of just offering it half-heartedly. It will be genuinely getting validation and sex, with genuine communication and appreciation, other than just "running by a script," and you both know it.

You ultimately decide

But I beg... please leave him and leave a card to some therapist. If he wants help for himself, he'll call the number, but don't get dragged down like that.

[Asker]

thank you for the advice. deep down i know ur right. we're both in therapy already but he may need more to be honest. I'll gather the strength to cut it out some day soon!

[Rosexøxø]

therapy is a good step in this. professional intervention or assistance.

Who knows, maybe you can date a good-looking therapist who offers great validation! Never know... :)

Possibilities are endless

Hope all goes well

-xoxo

[Asker]

thank you bae! ur the sweetest!💕

[Anonymous]

I think it would be best to end it. To get some therapy. This cycle will only repeat itself. You’ll end up running into men who are just like him. It’s not a good thing. May I ask why you are seeking validation? Validation that you’re beautiful?

[Asker]

my dad left me when i was young i think thats why. also I've been battling with anorexia for 3 years and im trying to recover, though i see that this coping mechanism isn't good..

[Opinion Owner]

I see. I’m really sorry to hear that. But yes I think you should end it, work on fixing you so that you can have a real relationship rather than someone who is just using you. I mean because eventually this person may get tired of sex w you then move on. Then what? Find someone else to validate you by sleeping w them? Not a healthy thing. You need help my dear. I know it may suck to go through whatever amount of time w out being validated in the way you see you need it but in the end it’ll be worth it to actually be w someone who wants to actually be w you as a friend, a lover, possible life long partner.

[Asker]

thank u :( i really needed to heat that. I'm convinced i ( he too ) deserve better now, just needed someone to tell me.

[Opinion Owner]

Is this the first time you’ve been in this type of relationship? Or has there been other dudes before him that you used for validation?

[Asker]

actually the second, also the second relationship I've ever been in!

[Opinion Owner]

So what happened w the first relationship? Why didn’t you two stay together?

[Asker]

i quickly realized that i didn't like her, i just (stupidly) wanted to feel loved and wanted. i broke it off cause she deserved way better

[Opinion Owner]

I see. So how do you think your father leaving you left you to seeking validation?

[Asker]

i guess because i never had any sort of father figure in my life, im seeking that male validation in guys

[Opinion Owner]

I see. No uncles? Brothers? What validation exactly? That you’re good enough? Pretty enough?

[Asker]

nah no uncles nor brothers, no anything lol, just my mom! and its just about feeling wanted and desired. i dont feel that life is worth living if i am not the human embodiment of desire?

[Opinion Owner]

I see. But this is not a healthy type of feeling wanted or desired. I know I can’t fully understand what you’re going through but I think once you seek help you’ll realize there’s a lot in life worth living for. Have you tried seeking help?

[Asker]

yes ofcourse, I've been in and out of mental hospitals for 3 years too, I'll get better eventually i assume :) may i just ask you, why are you so curious? i enjoyed getting to tell someone, but isn't it draining to hear about?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly not really. For one it’s a leaf of thing. It helps me understand people more especially women if I ever encounter others like yourself. Two I’ve always been into psychology, although I am not a psychologist. I should have gone into that profession, it intrigues me. I used to work at a prison, always loved talking to the inmates as far as their thoughts. What brought them to do what they did.

[Asker]

you seem very intelligent,, and i really do hope you dont encounter women like me in the future hahaha! thank you for listening! i would love to hear some of the stuff you've learned about inmates back then? if you have time ofc. have a nice day^^

[Opinion Owner]

How would I converse w you?

[Asker]

if you've got any social apps, like insta, kik, snapchat, or whatever, that would be alr w me!

[Opinion Owner]

Not really. Used to have Snapchat. What about on this forum?

[Asker]

omg true im new i had no idea you could text people. my username is vitaminlover

[Opinion Owner]

So you going to bed now? I’m at work so I’ll be up all night

[Asker]

nope! different timezone i guess. im actually getting ready for college (I don't know what its called in English, im from Scandinavia)

[Opinion Owner]

I see. It would be the same. College. What time of the day is it there? I believe I added you so if you want to check then message me to make sure

[Asker]

the app won't let me message w my xp lvl </3 but you did. its 7.45 am over here

[spartan55]

Those aren't mixed signals, he likes fucking you, nothing else.

[Asker]

i hoped so too but he keeps hinting that he's inlove with me even tho we agreed to just fuck🙄 I don't know man, he's confessed before but i rejected him

[spartan55]

He is telling you what he thinks you want to hear, wise up.

[Asker]

i hope. thank u:)

[spartan55]

Find someone who respects you. And learn to respect yourself.

[Asker]

I'll try

[jimmy2]

Do not get hook up with a drink that nonthing but pains and sorrows

[Anonymous]

Both of you need therapy.

[Asker]

word. but we both are in therapy 💀

[Anonymous]

C. Sounds mutual to me? So why not continue.

[Asker]

true true true, I'll talk to him i think

[Opinion Owner]

Sweet. :)