He's into me but one day he's flirty, the next he ignores me, how do I make him stop over thinking and what should be my next move?

[Exella]

We've been working together for about 6months, at first I didn't care about him and actually found it annoying how every girl was into him and he knew how attractive he was, and one day I fell for him as well.

Not sure when but at some point we started making a ton of eye contact, and texting after work etc. Conversations sometimes turned sexual but nothing crazy, and then the next day at work it was as if he didn't even know me.

I like the dynamic of nobody knowing, but some days he would be really into me and the next he wouldn't even look at me.

I asked at some point to clear things out and basically on his part if nothing happened its because he doesn't like that we are colleagues, he doesn't want everyone to know because our other colleagues can be super annoying, and the age/experience difference bothers him (we are 4years apart, he's had sex with over 25girls, me only 2guys). He sees me as a bit young and not necessarily immature but he thinks I'm not capable of being truly purely sex friends, which he's wrong.

And now I'm still full time but he went part time so I don't see him as often, but I don't know what's my next move. I'm sick of waiting, plus, I'm moving to Australia in 2months, I've texted him once after work to come over but he didn't reply and when I confronted him he said he was already at his house in bed and he was tired and "there was no point in texting back just to say no". I mention that so you know I've already tried being straightforward.

Should I text him and try chatting and see where that leads? (haven't texted him in a few weeks) Should I not do anything at all and wait more? What is the best next move for a guy that wants but at the same time changes his mind every day?

[DEondeBeaumont]

Put your number in my phone but don't save it
(Please, don't, please, don't fall for me)
Visit once or twice and then you made assumptions
Thinkin' it was more
Now you're understanding that it all meant nothing to me?
I'm not lookin' for the one
Later, but for now I'm havin' fun
I'm done 'cause I always get hurt
Won't be here for long
Baby, you can hate me if you want
But now I gotta put myself first
We can kiss, we can touch
And do it often
But if you're here lookin' for love
That's when you've lost me

[Anonymous]

He’s probably talking to other girls in that office, so he tries to keep a neutral front. He also may not be into you the way you’re into him, otherwise he would help get the ball rolling and it wouldn’t be all on you. Regardless, I’d say don’t chase him. If you’re cool with casual sex and that’s what you want then it’s nothing to hop on a dating app and two months is more than enough time to build up some comfort and make him your fling before you leave. But the coworker knows he looks good, has plenty of options to work with and is just making you look foolish by trying so hard for his attention.

[Exella]

I know for a fact he isn't seeing anyone else at our workplace, he considers all the other girls like his sisters (he's known them for years now) and I'm the only one he acts different towards. He's always said it, his only rule is to not do it with a co-worker or a client, and I guess that kinda made it a challenge for me now, cause he's admitted he was about to break his rule one night when we were talking in the parking lot after work, but his brain took over last second. And I guess knowing I could have him and yet can't is driving me totally crazy. Also if I don't do it with just about anyone is because I like the "we're colleagues" tension, and also I do trust him a lot he makes me comfortable, something I can't have with a stranger from dating sites.
But you say "make him your fling before you leave" but why would it be any different in 2months than right now?

[Opinion Owner]

I said 2 months is more than enough time, not that you should wait that long. If you wanted to find someone else and make them a fling right now then sure, go for it. But even if he’s not speaking to other coworkers, his behavior still relays that he’s not as interested as you are. I understand that he’s said certain things, but actions really do the talking and look at his. I’m sure the “we’re colleagues tension” is fun but not to where you’re going out of your way and chasing him. That’s not hot to anyone.

[MrCommodore]

He isn't interested, otherwise he would make more effort. If you think you will be satisfied by being number 26 on his list then text him and initiate. But if you want a relationship and think he might eventually fall for you, I think you will get hurt and should move on.

Its not worth the heartbreak.

[Guy13]

On can not make a guy Man-Up. Does that make sense to you ⁉️

[Exella]

But I don't even know if it's about not manning up, you tell me you probably know better but he's told me a ton that he's been wanting to have sex with me for a while and when I joke with him telling him that he doesn't own up to all the things he tells me he says it's not about not being a man, it's about him overthinking the situation a lot and realizing that it's maybe not a good idea.. I don't know man..

[Guy13]

He’s frightened and immature. 🙄, he does not know any tricks or he would have a methodology. No confidence and he’s not going to be a take charge guy.

[Exella]

You're probably right... And you think there's nothing I can do to change the situation? At this point it's just driving me nuts to not be able to break through to him and I'm kinda desperate

[Guy13]

I don’t know…kiss 💋 him maybe ⁉️