Why do I get attached to the majority of guys that show me attention?

[anonbrunette99]

Of course there’s some I don’t get attached to that chase me down but the ratio to ones that I’ve attached myself to, to one’s that I haven’t is very high this year alone I’ve maybe attatched myself to 9 diff guys who once where interested in me but now aren’t and maybe 3 that I know of that have been message me for months that I’m not interested in. You see I get attached to most of them. Attached for me means, my ego is still hurt via all of those men I tie it to my self worth and feel useless for them friendzoning me, ghosting me, choosing someone else and just not deaming me suitable for anything or even just deeming me suitable for hook up. I look at their social media and feel inferior and constantly question why I’m so shit that they didn’t want a relationship with me

[RealMarek]

Social media can be a trap for women in the same way porn and video games can be a trap for men. It plays on the evolutionarily hard-wired part of women to compete in the female hierarchy of attractiveness.

In your case, you seem to seek attention, but social media is sort of rigged to make you feel like you always need more or are falling behind. Why not ditch Instagram? I l know it seems radical, but I think it might help. From now on, ground all of your relationships in real, face-to-face contact. If you meet a guy online, text just a few times and then move to a real date. Have what you want clear and be up front about it. Make the guy demonstrate by behavior that he isn’t just in it for sex. Don’t get overly attached to guys until they meet your criteria. Also don’t overthink it if you don’t meet theirs. In either case, don’t do stalker-like things or stay in touch afterward. Just move on. Be intentional about this. Ideally, you are trying to find a mate for life, so be serious and don’t waste time on dead ends.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think what you experience is natural and normal. The only way to combat that really is to just remove your emotions from the situation and make the experience more impersonal.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO. 😇

[TallAnon]

Probably because you delude yourself that they will fix everything you are currently lacking in life.

[anonbrunette99]

So maybe I need to make a mind map of what void (s) I’m trying to fill and find ways to fill them that don’t involve these men?

[TallAnon]

Yeah, alternatively you can see a therapist that will help you do this

[eagle1951]

sounds like you're looking for someone who can replace the one you lost. you want and need attention

[Anonymous]

because ur fuqing desparate!!!

[anonbrunette99]

What makes you think that

[Guardian45]

Cuz you lack it.