I barely talked to this man at all, and we've never dated, as he's much older than me. However, when I gave him my phone number, ever since then he's been trying to call me everyday, even on weeks where I told him i couldn't talk because I was really busy. Should I be scared, or why is he doing this? Can I send him a text saying please stop calling me? What else should I do?
Yes. This is dangerous. For sure.
Now, I can't say "how" dangerous exactly, but yes. Do consider this man dangerous.
That's easy for me to say. The reason being... normal guys wouldn't act this way.
Some guys definitely have difficulty hearing "no" the first, or even the second time a girl says it. But even the 'persistent' idiots will stop before they get anywhere near "possibly scary'
Secondly, this guy has clearly shown that he is either unable or unwilling to recognize proper boundaries. Regardless of why, the fact that 'societal' normal boundaries aren't something he's worried about makes him potentially dangerous.
Third, the level and frequency of him trying while getting no encouragement from you... is wildly inapropriate and indicates... this dude's obsessed with you in a super-unheathy (aka creepy-as-fuck) way!
So, you know how people talk about "red flags". This guy is like carrying around a fucking blaring red-alarm bell.
You 100% need to get him out of your life. No matter what. Definitely DO send the text telling him.
"I no longer want any contact with you. Please don't contact me again. I do not want to talk about this. Please respect my decision."
No flowery explanations, nothing to 'soften the blow' nothing to 'not seem like a bitch'. You need to be straight. Short. and super clear.
Then block his number. Seriously. Do block his number.
Then, if he has any further contact with you, the next step is to put a call in to the police. They won't really do anything, but you need to start a paper-trail so that they WILL do something in the future once there's at least a pattern established (established by your filing police reports).
So I suggest this plan because: if you are super clear about "do not contact me again" and then you block his number... that'll get rid of most guys like this.
Also, if he DOES contact you again after you're clear and block him, then you can bet-your-ass that this guy is genuinely dangerous. And it's time to get the police involved. You can call them at this point without any fear you're overreacting.
But do listen to your instincts telling you this guy is dangerous. 🙂
Dangerous? Probably not. If it were me, I'd just be in the mood to talk to someone. Some guys can come off very strong and don't understand personal space sometimes but still have good intentions. A red flag would be if you repeatedly have to tell him to back off. Don't be scared! If you don't want to talk to this man at all, communicate it. If you do want to but you want him to ease off the accelerator, communicate that as well.
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Well, if you gave him your number you should have been willing to communicate with him. If you seriously do not want to talk to him, then block his number.
Maybe you were interested and now you're not. I mean why did you give him your number to begin with? I need more information to answer this question honestly.
I have had lots of women give me their numbers, and once things run its course you just stop communicating for a variety of reasons. But why did she give me her number to begin with?
If was because of a possible romantic interest, then yeah once she starts pulling the I am too busy number on me that is a clear sign she's not interested. If she is seriously interest, but still too busy, then I lose interest in her pretty fast. Obviously, at that point she can't be that interested, and it is not worth my effort hanging around until its convenient for her to participate. If her life is that demanding, and her time so little, then her lifestyle is not consistent with mine.
If it was for professional reasons as to why you gave him your number, then obviously he is outside the lines and over stepping. But in general, yes you have reason to be concerned. Guys that do this are usually desperate, or too needy, or border line compulsive. They tend to be the processive or jealous types, that become more and more controlling over time. This is true for women as well.
At the end of the day, if you have made your boundaries known and he is not respecting them, then yes if you do not feel safe in telling him to stop... then you should just block him.
I used to have a girl like that. We met in a chat room online and she seemed very interested so, I gave her my number. VERY BAD MOVE!! After the first day, she'd call me several times a day!!! I mean, I'd be awakened by her first call and we'd sit on the phone yaking for an hour or better! We'd hang up and, within 5:00, she'd call back and yammer on for another hour!! We'd hang up and, a few minutes later, she calls back again for another hour, or so!! I couldn't get SHIT done because I was spending all bloody day on the phone with her!! After about a week of this, we'd hang up and she'd call right back and I'd pick up and she'd ask for my brother!! Like, I wouldn't be able to recognizer her voice after being on the phone with her for several hours a day!! As soon as she found out it was me, she'd started talking with me, again, for another hour, like I didn't notice that she just asked for my brother!!
About a week later, my brother wanted me to print out a map on my computer because he was invited to a party and wanted directions how to get there! I printed them out, he left for this party.
Next morning, rather early, she calls again but talks to my parents!! She's got my brother over at her place (a trailer where she keeps pet RATS, and one of them just had babies!!) and she wants to know if he's epileptic because he's lying on the floor vibrating and foaming at the mouth!! My parents get my aunt & uncle because they know that area much better and all 4 rush over to get my brother! Later, we find out she gave him a glass of orange juice that morning and it had rat poison in it!!! Why they never went after her to put her in jail for attempted murder, I don't know!! She had at least 2 pre-schoolers and she screamed at those poor kinds like an insane truck driver calling them every name in the book!!!
if you didn't think he was dangerous then why give him your number? maybe you should've made it clear to him from the start how you see yourselves. this would've prevented so much of what has happened so far.
by giving out your number to him, he's already assumed some interest from you and based on your response, he's now been put in a lose lose situation where if he doesn't contact you, you'll lose "interest" and when he does contact you, well the scenario is what happens.
how dangerous he would be would depend on the contents of what he says. for now this behavior as odd as it may be does not have sufficient evidence to prove he is dangerous. it's all speculation.
I can't speak for lesser men but I'm just so charming , no isn't in my vocabulary, what I hear when you say not only no, but hell no is, I really want you studmuffin do me here do me now., If you've told him in plain (your native language here) that your not interested then there is a very real possibility of trouble at some point. Having told them that you (in my opinion,) need to stop taking their calls, no social media contact, and if he keeps approaching you get help.
u When you gave him your phone number, he assumed that the path to getting you in bed was ready and waiting. He's probably been fantasizing about what he wants to do with you and he can't fathom that the answer is actually "no!" Does your state provide for injunctions against stalking? First, you need to warn him that you will seek an injunction if he doesn't stop, and then follow through on your promise.
You should definitely tell him that you're not interested and that he should stop calling you! Definitely say something and if he doesn't stop, block his number.
For the future, I don't know if that might help but like I'm never giving out my number and rather my instagram, until I feel comfortable enough to give my number
First a question, why did you give him your number?
If you want him to stop calling, tell him. If he doesn't, block him. Simple as that.
Please tell me you haven't given him your address.
If you block him and you work together then tell your boss the situation as things might get unpleasant at work and you want to have your employer on side.
Harassment is never pleasant. I hope things improve for you
I don't know maybe "suggest" that u might be having a boyfriend... for example "i am going to this place with my boyfriend so i cannot take this call"
if he doesn't back off just tell him that ur boyfriend doesn't like it when another man is trying to call u over and over again.
Or just say that ur not into men or something I don't know...
U can outright say stop but I don't know... some people r weird
Block his phone number after you tell him we can't even be friends cuz you have bugged me to much an he should of asked best time to call you an not bug you but he thought she isn't busy she just needs me to call mire so I can get to hat with her that's what people who become over interested in you sense they have no clue how to make friends so they try to over do it
Why did you give him your number if your not interested in him. Send him a text telling him to stop calling you. If he doesn't stop, block his number
Yea just ask him to please stop calling if he doesn’t go ahead and block him
I think text him please stop calling me.” Good luck to you!
I agree, Men should take NO for an answer
"I gave him my phone number, ever since then he's been trying to call me"
Are you serious? Do you even read what you write?
Because you Girls keep saying you want Men to make the First move and other times you some Girls say we should be Confident and Persistent otherwise you Girls would ignore us so we have no idea what we should do.
don't respond and block his number along with unknown numbers period
The same reason some woman can't take no for an answer.
Why do you ask us this question without telling us who this man is and where you met him>
He may not have bad intentions, but his behavior is extremely clingy and weird. I’d stay away from him :/
Just tell no I'm interested or just block him don't give you number. Just ask for social media intead.
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