Why would a guy not be able to stay erect?

[Anonymous]

The guy I am seeing, wasn’t able to stay erect, And he seemed like he was in a bad mood after and I tried to talk to him and ask why he seemed irritated or something but he said he was tired and going to sleep.. so I felt like it was because of me because I overthink.. he had been drinking so I don't know if that could be why. . We haven’t slept together in awhile either cuz we were arguing a-lot/not speaking but we’ve been on good terms lately..

[NamerOfStars]

The human penis functioning correctly requires a LOT of interconnected systems be working properly- not just the circulatory, but the respiratory and several parts of the nervous. Also, that circulatory system? He has ONE heart. And sixty thousand miles of blood vessels to keep it moving through, and now you want more of it directed to one specific place? Even if all those are fine, fatigue, intoxication, or any one of a bevy of other issues could cause it to fail. And sometimes everything's dandy, and it STILL doesn't work, because penises ultimately don't give a fuck- which is exactly the problem, but explaining that doesn't help. They just don't listen.

It's almost certainly not your fault (I suppose you COULD be drugging him, but it's not very likely), but stress is another thing that can disrupt it. And since many people still, wholly or in part, see sex as something a man does to a woman, difficulties in doing it are likely to be seen as a failure on his part, which makes him feel more stressed, which just increases the problem.

So what's to be done? Well, usually it clears up with time; if not, talking to a doctor may be in order. He won't want to, of course; it means admitting, even if to someone who's legally bound not to reveal anything, that he's "failing as a man". That's something it can be very hard to help with. In the short term, it's easier to know what to do: look at what you're dealing with, and remember that PIV isn't the only way to have sex. If he's not hard enough for penetration, is he hard enough for a hand- or blow-job*? Remember that he, too, has other ways of stimulating you, and that while it's good to reassure him that it's okay, that's a message that's far better sent with actions than words. If you see he's struggling, moving your hand down for a gentle caress and kiss, followed by taking him into your mouth, is likely to get you an appreciative moan; saying "It happens to everybody- could you pass me my vibrator?" will make him want to shoot himself. I don't know the details of your relationship, and it may be different if your situation is different, but even if your mind sees him as "the man I'm having sex with" rather than "my man", making him FEEL like he's your man will be a far better psychological balm than any words you could offer. Sex isn't just about sex, and if you're clever and creative, can be the best mental buoy you'll ever find.

*Looking back over this, I don't think I've ever seen "blowjob" hyphenated before, and now I feel like I'm an 1890's sex columnist.

[FilmGuy93]

Sometimes the machinery just doesn't want to work as well as you'd like. Other times, the erection goes soft because of lack of stimulation.

[Lowiu]

It happens to guys when they are stressed or nervous too

[innerman]

So many factors
- drinking
- not interested
- not aroused
- bad weather
- constellations

[Asker]

Bad weather? 😂

[innerman]

I wish I was lying, but I’m not 😂😂

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Maybe too much drinking is causing him erection problems.

[Anonymous]

My first thought is: PORN ADDICT

He is in his 20s too

[spartan55]

This will happen once in a while.

[BarryLiverstone]

Alcohol will depress blood flow.

[In_Trance]

There are numerous reasons this happens

[Pterodon]

Addicted to porn