I have a ex, we have been apart 4 years now, who maintains contact with me. We have always had many ups and downs, strongly due to weak communication skills and relationship issues with parents on both sides. Last year I tried to give the relationship another go becuase I'm in love with him and dispite knowing we've tried a failed many times before I was willing to try once again (yes insane I know). I left a relationship to be with him becuase he told me I had to make a choice, him or the new man. I picked him and then he began to tell me has wasn't interested anymore. (I got back together with the other guy after)
Months past I extended a olive branch and offer him a gift for his birthday, he ignored my gift for 1 month, asked me for money twice within the month and then tried to ask for a change in gift. I ened up not gifting him anything becuase who comes to collect a gift 1 month after the offer.
He got very upset with me told and told me he never liked me, to keep my distance from him, not to speak to him anymore, and a few more things to try to bring me down. Then few weeks later messaged me asking how I was doing, saying he likes to make sure the people he cares about are ok.
The love of my life (whether he feels the same about me or not) Is not communicating clearly with me and all I want is to understand him better. Could it be he still has feeling for me after all it has been 4 years, or is this a game, or is there another feeling that I'm not considering?
Men how do you behave when you are hurt or upset vs when you are not interested or in love. Please help me see things from another perspective
What might he be feeling?
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cherieday wants to hear from Guys only. Login to share your opinion.
Now you've come to the wrong place for sincere critical advice about a topic like this lol (sorry). The only advice the majority of people on GAG know how to give is "BreakUp" "Runaway". You're very wise for excluding women from answering this question. Very wise.
Anyhoo.. When young women in my life ask for my council in respects to men, I also advise them to ask him as early as possible, "how do you envision your perfect life looking like"
If it fits your narrative, then proceed with the following, "how could you see me fitting into that vision?"
2 simple, non aggressive/pushy, yet powerful questions that will give you every bit of information that you're looking for to make the right decision for you.
Now to move on to tackling your questions.
There's 2 types of men in this world. Thinkers and feelers.
Feelers are like having a chocolate cake for diner. A high stimulation/ high excitement type of life, followed by deep lows.. a rollercoaster from day to day. Your senses are constantly electric.
Thinkers are more like eating a raw fruit and veg diner. Not as exciting day to day but everything your body needs to be the best version of yourself. Less like a rollercoaster and more like a holy site of worship where everybody is at peace. Thinkers "love" isn't crazy, it's about dependable structure, routine and calm.
It sounds to me as though he is a feeler by the way you described each others behaviour. Feelers live in their body, their tastes, sights, touch and hearing have to be titillated for them to feel "love". No point asking for deep insight. They make decisions based on how you make their senses feel. They go from deep disgust to deep love. It's a rollercoaster!
When he's upset with you, he'll look for something else to titillate his senses. Usually that's another woman sexually or some vice. They are never "not interested", just that you haven't titillated their senses, so how could they love you? There's really not much depth beyond this my dear.
Let go, he ain’t worth shit, he knows you are weak because of your love and uses that against you to manipulate and getting you wasted. You deserve better. Focus on moving on, that should be your goal.
What Guys Said
Now you've come to the wrong place for sincere critical advice about a topic like this lol (sorry). The only advice the majority of people on GAG know how to give is "BreakUp" "Runaway". You're very wise for excluding women from answering this question. Very wise.
Anyhoo.. When young women in my life ask for my council in respects to men, I also advise them to ask him as early as possible, "how do you envision your perfect life looking like"
If it fits your narrative, then proceed with the following, "how could you see me fitting into that vision?"
2 simple, non aggressive/pushy, yet powerful questions that will give you every bit of information that you're looking for to make the right decision for you.
Now to move on to tackling your questions.
There's 2 types of men in this world. Thinkers and feelers.
Feelers are like having a chocolate cake for diner. A high stimulation/ high excitement type of life, followed by deep lows.. a rollercoaster from day to day. Your senses are constantly electric.
Thinkers are more like eating a raw fruit and veg diner. Not as exciting day to day but everything your body needs to be the best version of yourself. Less like a rollercoaster and more like a holy site of worship where everybody is at peace. Thinkers "love" isn't crazy, it's about dependable structure, routine and calm.
It sounds to me as though he is a feeler by the way you described each others behaviour. Feelers live in their body, their tastes, sights, touch and hearing have to be titillated for them to feel "love". No point asking for deep insight. They make decisions based on how you make their senses feel. They go from deep disgust to deep love. It's a rollercoaster!
When he's upset with you, he'll look for something else to titillate his senses. Usually that's another woman sexually or some vice. They are never "not interested", just that you haven't titillated their senses, so how could they love you? There's really not much depth beyond this my dear.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
This is the greatest response I've ever gotten. Thank you so much Doctor Sex
You're more than welcome. Thank you for the kind words.
Let go, he ain’t worth shit, he knows you are weak because of your love and uses that against you to manipulate and getting you wasted. You deserve better. Focus on moving on, that should be your goal.