What happened between us? Am I reading too much into it? how do I make it normal again?

[Anonymous]

So recently I had a party, and I invited some friends. One happened to be a guy I work with, and we’ve known each other for a couple of years (I’d always had this gut feeling like there was some tension between us but never acted on it b/c of work and our friends). I walked downstairs, and he said, “wow, you look really good” to me two different times in the span of a few minutes. There were a few other things where I was like, wow, that’s really odd. He’s usually never that close to me, and as the night goes on, we are talking, and he once again gets really close. Then during a group photo, he said he needed to be on the other side because of this girl he was on/off talking to, so I asked if she had a problem with me because I liked her. She was always super sweet to me, and he said no, but you know how we’ve become really good friends (i don’t remember much of the convo as I was drinking, but he wasn’t), and then after that, the night went downhill as some other friends made some obscene comments which upset me (besides the point). The day after my party, another friend said, “why were you guys standing so close” and I didn’t even know what to say. The next time we worked together, it was almost as if he couldn’t look me in the eye, and he had even texted me the day after the party saying, “hey, shitty friends suck; everyone has a bad night. Hope you’re okay,” and we continued texting, and I thought we were good. Now things are weird between us, and after a while, he joked around with me, but not as he would have before this, and I could tell by the end of the day something was bothering him, but when I asked, he ignored me. What was going on/was I reading too much into this? How do I make things normal between us again without bringing up the closeness between us that night in case I was reading into it?

[Guy13]

Well, things went well until you took the bait and "showed your ass" to a guy who is not drinking. In his mind, your reaction to the rude comments shows him what you are truly like when drinking. In other words, you are a mean drinker kind of thing. That is going to put him off for awhile as that is different than what he knows. He questions your judgment at this point.

He does know that he is attracted to the original you and can tell you like him. But, if this is how she reacts when she hears things she does not like... wow, I don't think that I can handle that"-This is where he is right now in the decision making.

You bring it up then Guilty and he found out before it began. 2-3 month trial in session. The best thing that can happen to you is that he sees you in another party situation pounding and acting like someone with control and good sense. i HOPE this works out as you wish but as a conservative guy who never has more than 3 drinks... I'm giving you my thoughts from my head in my life.

[Asker]

I wasn’t mean, though I didn’t say anything to the rude friends that night and waited until the following morning to say something. The party was pretty much ending by this point, and he had seen me with tears in my eyes when he walked into my room because I was discussing the rude friend’s situation with another friend. After all, the ones who had said some hurtful things were visiting me, and the whole time they had been here, having been pretty shitty even before the party, and I had had enough of them. He had even discussed his friend who had been in town and how poorly it had gone. He felt bad, but I think maybe seeing a friend who he’d known for three years cry probably set him off

[magiusX26]

1st issue is "i can't remember that convo because i was drinking and he was not" seeing as it could be something said or done during that aforementoined "can't remember" part.

[Asker]

I surprisingly remember that entire night besides the end of that conversation (i think partly because it was super loud and people kept trying to talk to me and i tend to kinda zone out when a lot of people are talking it’s makes me anxious I don't know why) and as of today i found out he was slightly drunk

[Loulou94]

Hmmm so from a girl perspective it sounds to me like he might like you, or at least he did that night anyway, and he is now feeling that he shouldn’t like you or be attracted to you in that way so his pulling away from you. Maybe he thinks you don’t feel the Same way? Maybe his thinks it will be to awkward at work? Maybe his worried what others will think?

either way, for a guy to say you look good and try and purposefully be close to you, he liked what he saw.

[Wise4myage]

I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about this and hopefully that will help.