Do men fear being criticized if they hold a door open for a young woman?

[Adaeva]

I was walking behind a guy. He must have been aware that I was behind him because, after opening the door, he delayed for a moment holding the door so it didn't close on me similar to the photo and then continued walking. We couldn't make eye contact because he never looked back. I never saw his face other than the side.

[MrOracle]

Some do.

While most radical feminists have moved on to other "triggers", in the late 90s and early 2000s, anything a man did that was considered remotely "chivalrous" was likely to cause such women to verbally attack and attempt to degrade that man. I experienced such events 4 or 5 times during those years. Now, me, not only can I take it, I enjoy the opportunity to attack back and send such radical feminists crying, because they are vile creatures, but, yes, there definitely ARE men who are VERY afraid to be labeled with any of those "cancel culture" terms, as people lose entire careers and even have their wives divorce them from such incidents.

By default, I'm courteous to EVERYONE, not just women. I hold doors open for men and women alike, and I've given up my seat on the commuter train to both men and women. I'm not from the south, but my maternal grandparents were from the Texas/Oklahoma area originally and I was definitely taught southern-style manners and courtesy. Many men were.

There is definitely a fear that many men have, especially men in the corporate world, that a woman will accuse them of something - anything - and end their career. And as much as they have a desire to be courteous, they either avoid doing so or they do everything they can to minimize a confrontation. I'm sure that's why your guy didn't make eye contact with you.

So, while the peak time of this was really 20-25 years ago, there are always a few rad-fems and just general Karens around who are always on the lookout for something that they could be offended by, and take great pleasure in attacking "the patriarchy", so some risk still remains. The most recent version of this was "trans-rights" and "preferred pronouns", which peaked about 5 years ago and is beginning to die out as some people (i. e., the idiots who supported it in the first place) are realizing what a mistake it was. Soon they will find some new thing to destroy and it will start all over again.

[MrOracle]

I should add here that MOST women are happy and thankful when someone holds a door for them - it's been years since I have gotten any negative feedback, BUT I tend to avoid big cities where the activists tend to live and work, so that may play a role. People who spend a lot of time in very left-leaning cities may have a different experience.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if fear is the right word, but yeah it feels crappy to do something polite and have the woman give you a dirty look or make some subtly disapproving comment. It has happened to me too many times to count, but I still hold the door open for both sexes because it's the polite thing to do. I've never had a man give me a dirty look for it, but I've had plenty of women do it. I have also had other men hold the door for me plenty of times, but not so much with women.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't "fear" it, I just don't want to deal with it. There's a big difference between being afraid of something versus simply not thinking it's worth the trouble.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t. I have never had someone get angry with me for holding a door. Getting angry at someone for being nice and doing something they don’t have to is kind of dumb.



I hold the door for men and women young and old.


If someone holds the door for me I always say thanks.

[DWornock]

Often that is so because women will perceive it is as flirting. The man you described wanted to be courteous and was helpful. However, by avoiding eye contact and quickly leaving as soon as he was helpful, he gave no opportunity for you to believe he was flirting.

[WindAtMyBack]

No. It doesn't occur to me that I might be criticized. But if someone doesn't like it, that's their problem. The type of person who would criticize it is someone I don't care about. I've never heard of a guy being concerned about it either.

[KostasKouvalis]

Sometimes. I got scolded by a feminist before for saving her a seat on the bus.

But where I live at least, holding the door is common courtesy and nothing to do with gender or chivilry

[Anonymous]

No. Because I'm not doing it for her. I'm doing it because I'm a man and that's how I was raised. If she complained about it I'd just let go of the door and walk away, rolling my eyes. No point even engaging someone who'd have a problem with that.

[inhua]

you never know these days who's nearby and observing what's going on. even if you aren't the type to go off on him like that, some nosy bystander could be.

[BCRanger10]

I don't care. I do it because it's the polite thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Not in the UK.

I don't think the lack of eye contact means anything and as far as i am aware the cultural attitude is that everyone holds the door for everyone else.

[Shy_Steve]

Not Critisized, But we have a Fear of been thought of as Creepy especially from a Girl.

[BarryLiverstone]

I still hold the door open for people but have been insulted in the past

[KrakenAttackin]

I hold doors for whoever is behind me. I notice many younger women do scowl.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I open the door for everyone.

[Nikki1989]

I have never heard of that before.

[Tstrbrainer]

I only open door for myself

[In_Trance]

no they don't

[TrillXHippy]

Yeah