My morning started off great, is musing with fun little banter, he constantly smiling to smell with everything I said. My friend standing around said she can tell he enjoys my company & love having me around. Then went to his house to pick up a few things. He seemed quite and Unresponsive and glued to his phone. I ask if he ate and he said yes, I asked if you’d like to watch a movie and he said he’s gonna be taking a nap very soon. I was confused but just didn’t find that as a good sign so I told him I was going to head out & let me know if he want to hand out later, he then looked up and told me he loved me & had a ready fun time in the morning. I was perplexed by that as well but I left to do my own thing. Men your Perspective. How does a man go from being completely amused by everything I say with smiles left and right to well…that.
Guys, He seems amused then turned off?
What Guys Said
I'm confused as to what exactly your relationship is here. It seems to me, that if you're at the point where you're exchanging "I love you"... then this doesn't compute for me.
If you're in love, then the relationship should be established enough that one off-mood and wanting to take a nap one time shouldn't make you wonder or worry.
It's incongruent.
This is the question of someone in a new relationship. But if he's saying I love you... you should already be on firm ground. And you should know him well enough that you know how he can get quiet sometimes. If this is the first time you've seen this, then "I love you" sounds totally inappropriate to be honest.
So this is hard to read. Because if you're in a newer relationship... then, yea. Bad sign indeed. Why didn't he want to hang out with you? I don't have any specific explanation for why his mood changed.
It sounds more like a guy in an established longer relationship who just... needs a nap. And assumes his girlfriend won't mind (not entirely unreasonable).
Apologies I did not clarify, There is no romantic relationship but I do find myself catching feelings for him. We have Excellent conversation, fun taunts and flirts, He initiates physical contact playing with my hair, caressing my feet & massages me. Friend picked up something is there. The moment I reciprocated he and I got more bold with this but then a sudden pull back. Not wanting to put pressure on to anything and see where things naturally go Along with gathering courage to confess that I like him to I aslo know that the divorce he went through did a number on him. So despite the feelings I just catched I want to respect where he’s at. I just know that I experience wonderful times with him and had friend say he lighten ups & sometimes tightens up around me, he melts when his children & I play, smiles win I act cheeky around him but there’s these random moments where those walls shoot up where a lot of people see the sudden change. This has discourage me but at the same time I know not to push when that happens. I do like him but I also want him to take care of himself. I had a moment of weakness where I was genuinely confused and my heart turned a little blue. Thank you for you time and answer.
This guy definitely sounds like he's interested in you too. His friends saying that, means a whole hell of a lot. That almost certainly means he's said something to them about you. That wasn't a comment to you made totally beind his back.
Do you really think that experiencing all of those times to be so "wonderful" were one-sided? Do you think that while you were having a wonderful time/conversation that he was just... passing the time? It's hard to have an experiences like that, if only ONE person is feeling special about it.
Now it sounds like this guy has a pattern (or personality) where he puts up walls sometimes, and there is a marked change. You mentioned that you aren't the only one who has noticed this.
Unless you notice it only happens after you get close (or something that could indicate that this reaction is directly related to you and your friendship/relationship) then I think there is no reason to assume you are the cause of these abrupt changes in mood.
In other words, it sounds like this guy is just like that. That he would be like that whether or not you knew him. That this is a HIM thing. Not a YOU TWO thing.
Your reaction makes sense. That you would feel it a confusing, abrupt sign of disinterest. BUT in this context it sounds like it might definitely be a mistake to interpret it that way.
I don't know the cause of the walls going up. But are you quite sure it's got something to do with you? It might not.
Regardless of the walls going up, it sounds like he likes you. Whether or not he's ready for a relationship, or completely over the divorce etc. I can't say. But I think you would be wrong to let his throwing up walls push you away. Like you said... don't push at the wrong time. But don't walk away either. I don't think that's what he's going for.
I cannot say for certain why this man's behavior changed so suddenly. However, it's possible that he may have been dealing with personal or emotional issues that caused him to withdraw or become less responsive. It's also possible that he may have simply been tired or not in the mood to socialize at that particular moment.
It's important to remember that people are complex and multi-faceted, and that their moods and behaviors can be influenced by a variety of factors. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with each other, and to respect each other's boundaries and feelings.
If you are feeling confused or concerned about this man's behavior, it may be helpful to reach out to him and express your feelings and concerns in a respectful and non-confrontational way. By prioritizing open and honest communication, you can build a strong and healthy relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
Age 22 and with this much wisdom I smiled. He has been divorced, his heart ripped out, shatter his trust, 2 hyper kids and work 12hr work week.
He will be so warm, affectioned and play with my hair, cuddling up paying me complements to being aloof and closed off then next. I do feel like a coward because I’m trying to build enough courage to just ask but I’m ask his sisters best friend. So that adds another complex layer to things. I haven’t made myself know because I do see he’s got some more healing to do, I respect that so when I feel him open I follow his lead when he closes off I respect & give him space.
Reading your answer refocused me, thank you.
You’re welcome
It sounds like you are in a challenging situation, but your approach of giving him space and following his lead is a wise and respectful one. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries while also being empathetic and understanding towards his healing process.
It's understandable to feel uncertain or nervous about expressing your feelings, especially given the complex dynamics involved. However, it's important to remember that you have the right to communicate your needs and desires in any relationship, and to be honest and upfront about your intentions.
Ultimately, the best course of action may depend on the specific dynamics of your relationship and how you both feel about the situation. By continuing to be patient, respectful, and communicative, you can build a strong and healthy foundation for a fulfilling relationship based on mutual trust and respect.
I don't know maybe he just have other thing he want to do.
That why I left for him to get that done :)
ok that good.