Guys who have no issues obtaining women, are you disgusted when unnatractive girls ask to join you when they run into you in public?

Question

Like say either you're successful at asking women out, or women often walk up to you and try to maintain a conversation with you. Say you went to a coffee shop to decompress by yourself away from friends, etc.. Would you be put off if an unnatractive girl you know from one of your friend circles runs into you there and asks to join you, whereby obviously she wants to spend more time with you one on one at this café than she gets to spend with you regularly. Would you be annoyed that you have to spend more time around her than you already spend with her, or would you be happy to have company?

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

That's going to very much depend on how you feel about the girl! Also... are we talking romantic interest here? Or just two friend's chilling? If it were friendly then that would be totally fine (assuming I liked the girl enough to enjoy her company or want to get to know her. Most people pass that test).

But if it was more of a romantic interest situation... then I think that's inherently uncomfortable. It's like an "ambush-date."

If it were just friendly then it's fine. But basically you'd read how it went the first time. It may not automatically become a regular thing. It depends on how two people hit it off. Be careful with this one. This is a situation where the guy feels an obligation to be polite. So, if for example... he's not really loving that you joined him... and hopes it's a one-time-thing... he'll feel obligated to pretend everything's cool (for the sake of the wider friend group stuff). So make sure that you're reading those signs and signals accurately.

That being said, if two people DO happen to click... then it might be a regular thing... and work out perfectly.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

First, I didn't surround myself with friends constantly or feel the need to be away from them to decompress. If I was in a cafe alone, it was because I was hungry.

So if a girl that I knew saw me there and asked if she could join me, I would have no problem, even if I found her unattractive. I don't need to find someone physically attractive in order to talk to them.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Nope. Not unless she does it in a really foul way.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you win the GAG prize in category of indirect female communication regarding a group love interest.

If he's not interested, it's uncomfortable. If he's disgusted, you should be able to read his refrain. If he's interested, he's pleasantly surprised and engaging, or at least accepting (if he's shy).

The "not interested" may be about him, not you. That can change, but not easily.

The only real solution is to try to get with him in common interests, be direct and accept the ensuing probable rejection. You are clearly not skilled at female manipulation, and developing your dating skills. I was in a group with multiple women and in hindsight, most of them hit on me. Some were very direct. Not that I was so amazing, but I was one of the decent options from whom was present. It is not easy getting past another's "boundary shield", that's the project... for what it's worth. You are learning "dating skills". Some women run right over the boundaries, others bounce right off...

And guys have the same problems if not worse.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

I wouldn't mind the impact it could have on how others might perceive me being with her because frankly most women I wouldn't consider for anything serious in the first place.

Here's the thing though if I want to enjoy alone time, I'm going to advocate for what I want rather then feel obligated to provide what someone else wants.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

I am reasonably successful in connecting with women. This would not bother me, at all. I would enjoy some (brief) company. It sounds like I was looking for alone time. So, I might be a little bit antsy—but the fact she is what many men would call unattractive would not factor into it.

clampfan101 · Answer

In this case she’s already become a friend, so what changes would looks make? Either way if I really wasn’t in the mood to talk and that friend showed up asking to hang out I’d still tell her okay but warn her I’m not in a good mood at the moment. One friend could be few enough.

All that being said, I’ve personally never had to decompress away from friends because I always choose quality over quantity. (People don’t need to be awesome guys or gorgeous girls to be my friend.)

VikingWarLord · Answer

Depends what geographical area I'm in.

In the West, it's rare any female just randomly comes up to you even ugly faat ones. But overseas, like SE Asia or Eastern Europe it can happen often. But there rarely are obese ones overseas, I honestly didn't see one I'd consider obese in the Philippines. I come back to America and it's nothing but land-whales.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No issues? I strike out often but can always get a date if I want one, so not sure if that counts. If it does, I will speak with the girls. My tastes do not always align with those of the majority so I might find them passable and interesting.

AimeeKyle · Answer

If I were there wanting to hang by myself I would likely be annoyed by anyone approaching me…. but they would never know it. I would continue to talk / hang for a while…..

Guy13 · Answer

Absolutely thrilled to see her…walk and talk…and attend to her as long as she is gracious, infectious, and not preoccupied with some deadline, time constraint, or all over the place in her Focus.

Avicenna · Answer

She's a friend, so what's the problem? Here's the dirty little secret- most of women who want to date you aren't that attractive, so who do you think is hitting on you IRL in the first place? Mostly relatively unattractive women.

SpokenTruth · Answer

I think most guys would be open to it and I have had that happen before too.

Jerre · Answer

I would not have a problem with keeping her company.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No I'm not disgusted at all I just tell them in a nice way I'm not interested

EaterPeter · Answer

So far I have came across very very limited number of unattractive women

HighValue · Answer

No. I am disgusted by the married woman that have hit on me.

Mansearching · Answer

I've always had difficulty. So i can't answer.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

short answer: Yes. full answer: Yes. honest answer: Yes. only answer: Yes.

Jay3344 · Answer

To be honest it depends on a persons mood and conversation.

Anonymous · Answer

It's actually entertaining. When you sit in a public place with a lesser attractive woman, it's amazing how many scowls passing women give her.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Depends on how I feel. There is no general yes or no answer to this question.

Guys who have no issues obtaining women, are you disgusted when unnatractive girls ask to join you when they run into you in public?

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