It’s very easy for men to express how they feel about a woman to their friends or writing it in a journal. But when it comes to the woman being present, the man remains a mystery. Why?
This actually is a very good question... but the answer to it is little difficult to make a woman understand.
It's generally accepted fact that women are much better at sharing their emotions then guys are. This on some level is true... at the end of the day there are two genders woman and man, and there are things that make us distinctly different.
Guys growing up as guys... can not be seen as complainers or whimps. Well at least 20 years ago that is how it was. You start sharing your emotions with other guys and you get told pretty quickly to shut up and stop being a crybaby or whinner.
The first love of most guys life's is their mother. Mother are strict disciplinarians, but very loving and caring. So as young child men are conditioned to accept a degree of heartache from their mothers, and you are taught not to talk back to her. When you grow up and start dating you are expected as man to take a degree of heartache from your woman, but to respect her and accept her feelings as they are.
The problem is that by not sharing our feelings with her, we are actually respecting her feelings. Because to men it's all grieve and heartache, but we know not to say that to a woman. Men just silently shake their heads and try to be supportive. But on some level, women know that is exactly what we are doing. Women think that is bullshit and that men should truly share what we are thinking and feeling.
But men know not to do that, we cannot really share with women our true feelings, but also know not to lie to you... because woman know when you are lying. So, we say nothing... and this really pisses women off. Be it as men know for a fact that if we truly say what we are thinking it will turn into an argument. We learned this as young boys from our mother to keep our mouths shut... and do what you are told. But we don't want to be told by woman what to do, because women are not our mothers.
So, woman will say just be honest with us... yeah, any guys know that does not work. Women say that until they meet an honest and genuine man, and she immediately thinks he is an arrogant, uncaring insensitive asshole. But men know that, so in order to be sensitive to her feelings, we shut up. And in order to be supportive her feelings we agree with her feelings, or at least understand why she feels that way... but in the end her feelings are not our feelings. We are just trying to be a good man, and not say anything to disrespect her or make her feel less than.
But woman on the other will tell a man in second what she thinks even when its not wanted or asked for, and we are expected to respect her feelings. And that is super hard, when you feel like you don't say so many things, out of respect to her, but she on your ass about everything.
So, there is no winning in this for a man, and that is way we say woman are impossible. When in truth we as men just want you to respect the fact that we are saying nothing out of the love and respect we have for you as a woman... so just leave your man alone and love him for being a good man.
Just assume every time you are talking to a man, he probably doesn't agree with you... and we says he does agree with you accept that at face value, and when he says nothing or shares nothing, know he is showing you respect and probably really loves you by not lying to you or disagreeing with you.
Because it doesn’t work when it comes to men getting what they really want.
Women keep on claiming that society has made guys more closed off and emotionally unavailable. However when men do act this way they get placed in a different category by women and it’s a category no straight man wants to be in. It’s absolute pure hell and it’s called the friendzone.
Yes it’s true that beneath the surface men have bigger hearts than most women realize. However when men express their emotions women feel relieved but not necessarily more attracted to the man (often the opposite).
Women see sensitive/emotional man as more relatable to another woman vs. viewing the guy as a real man. That makes them more comfortable around the guy but NOT more attracted to him (and women are attracted to challenge/mystery whether they admit it or not).
Most women look to men to be their emotional rock. The voice of logic and reason when they see having their issues. They subconsciously won’t trust an overly emotional man when it comes to this. They won’t see him as confident, strong and reliable. That’s a huge turn off in dating. Instant deal breaker for most women. They won’t say that outright of course but most of the time they will make a unilateral decision convert into a orbiter, back up beta, etc. If they do get in a relationship with a guy like this they are more likely to leave and/or cheat on him.
Now there comes a point when some trust is built up then a man can carefully open up. He can go too far in being closed off. But he’s got to be careful.
I know all of this because I am a naturally a bit more sensitive then most guys. I got treated like absolute shit by women for being this way when I was younger. Not to just by one or two women either. Several women got turned off by that and/or exploited it (friendzone). Several. In fact at a subconscious level I think most women less respect for sensitive men then other men do.
Men really communicate differently, usually they lack the skills to speak their true feelings right from their heart face to face that's why they seem less expressive.
I know it's not exactly what we, women, want but they usually opt for caring about you in a rather physical way. My past boyfriend always used to come up behind me and hug me whenever I felt down or just straight up bad. He also helped with my car which is kind of a hobby of mine and more. The only talk he actually was good at was a dirty talk lol
it all depends on what the guy is like not all men are like that some men in front of guy friends or not mite let you down for friends guy friends not to look like a panzy or stupid or a pussy but i like a guy that isn't shy to just say am kl am sitting with my burd or u know show his emotions and not be embarresed to show his loving self in front of his friendsnot all men do this but some do
Opinion
89Opinion
This is just my opinion, but it may have something to do with him being afraid of how he's going to look expressing his feelings. I'm a writer and honestly, I have an easier time writing a book character with a full backstory and having them express their emotions to females in the story, rather than me doing it myself, lol
When I was in high school, I wrote this one girl secret admirer letter and put roses in her locker, but I couldn't sign my name to them because I was too afraid. Eventually I told her who I was, but in another letter, lol. I've written so many girls poems, but always backed out on giving any of them to them.
The opposite sex still scares me. I don't think it's fear of rejection either. Girls are so beautiful, and their skin is always soft. Their eyes light up when they laugh, and their voices are real calming. Sometimes when a girl speaks, I feel like I'm lying on a bed of feathers. Then their soft lips when we kiss, for that moment, she's the only person that's there. Everything around me doesn't exist. To me though, I think the reason guys are like that is because of fear. They want to make a good impression all the time and don't want to look foolish. I've never cried in front of a girl either, lol. Anyway, I think it's fear though, if I had to guess.
I think most men don't know how I think most men if they say something they're afraid they're going to be judged or looked at In a Different Light instead of just being confident and being who they are because it really doesn't matter what other people think in the long run anyway it matters on the Here and Now on who you want to be who you choose to be and who you become and when that guy is worried about all those things he's really missing out on part of life and I don't necessarily think that men have a bigger heart than women I think everybody's an individual same with women same with guys we only know what we know we only know what we have experienced in life if we have not experienced it then we don't understand it and we will never get but if you are confident and you can basically care less what other people think you can use your heart your soul your mind your spirit your energy to become to understand and respect yourself have the confidence in yourself to keep going forward and not worry about what other people think because all you do is hold yourself back
Because men tend to be the rock and the shoulder to hold their family members and to protect everyone. We are thr protectors and the fixers. We try to have the answers and have a game plan when things go bad. We hide our stress and emotion to show those we love everything will be OK. We love our wife and kids dearly, and put their needs always above our own. Well most of us do anyway. We were raised this way, because we saw our dad's this way, my generation are making some changes of my our parents generation we didn't like, and pass on some better traits. Sometimes we don't always open up, is because women don't know how many times we have been turn down before we got that date. Women don't understand the stress of asking strangers out on dates, and waiting for a yes or a rejection, and then after dating, we have to ask again for marriage, we put our hearts out there more tines then a. Woman ever knows. But they just don't see it. Men communicate more in silence and action, then In verbal communication.
because nobody cares for men. nobody picks them up when they are down. nobody compliments them, when they feel insecure. nobody tells them it's all gonna be good when they don't see hope. nobody shows them physical love when they feel lonely and desparate. all society has for men is antagonism and ridicule for all the problems they might have. not understanding and support. all while blaming them for all the shit in the world and demanding sympathy and understanding for womens issues which miraculously most men actually still somehow are able to provide.
Men have to make do without getting all that support that women get. and this society is telling men to be "more feminine", and not so "toxic" flies right in the face of the reality that men live. men have to learn to be stoic. deal with pain by themself. deal with hardship by themself. their options are: pull themself up by the boot strap or litterally just die. that's why so many men these days are trying to be women. trying to make people use female pronouns and therefore "maybe" grant them the sort of support that women get.
it's a horrible travesty. claiming that anyone even cares for men and that they don't "need" to be callous and harsh to survive. if you're a man, and you struggle, you'll be sleeping in your truck. and eventually in the street if you hit rock bottom. you can't just get a career woman take you up, care for you and let you rise her children. nobody gives a shit if you die alone in the sewers. that's the reality everyone is trying to gaslight men into not seeing anymore.
so in essence i'm saying: men have to deal with way more shit than women do. and yet they somehow manage to show "almost" as much heart as them. meaning their heart is just bigger.
Men are not women, we don’t think or act like women. we deal with emotions differently than women.
The way we do it isn’t wrong, it just isn’t how women do it. The issue is that women can’t understand why men don’t think how they think.
We deal with shit internally and don’t require others, magic crystals, astronomy, etc to help us decipher what we feel or why we feel what we feel. If we do need to talk about what we are feeling, we talk to close buddies because they don’t judge us for things they don’t like or understand.
If you want to see proof that men have a bigger heart, search google for “man saves” and then “woman saves”… you will see how men will risk their lives to save the life of even the tiniest of creatures, we risk our lives to make the lives of women easier and better, etc.
Most Women do not risk their own well being for others.
Also, when it comes to acts of compassion, men are also the ones who do things for others much more frequently.
Men aren't good, or experienced, at talking about their feelings - that's like a foreign language and we're still at the "see Spot run" level of speaking.
If you want to know how a man feels about you, look at what he DOES, and how he treats you. When men have feelings about something, that typically is expressed by ACTIONS instead of words.
Is he nice to you? Does he reach out? Does he spend time with you? Does he listen? Does he help out, or do things to make your life a little easier?
That's what men do. The make efforts and sacrifices, often small but sometimes bigger.
I'm not sure what male relationships you are referencing but guys do not talk about their long term partners with other guys. They may mention one night stands and the like, but even then it will be a rough overview and nothing in depth. Additionally, anything they do dicususs is almost never going to go past the physical, and the idea that guys express the feelings about women to other guys is laughable. If your in a long term relationship with a guy they have likely disclosed way more with you then they ever have to their friends, and if their friends have a better idea about the state of their feelings/ the relationship it is only because they are better at picking up their nonverbal ques.
The stakes are a lot higher when one is talking with the woman of one's dreams. What friends think and say can be taken with a grain of salt, while communicating with a cherished woman could go awry very easily. So some men, me included, are a bit guarded when it comes to expressing thoughts, feelings and opinions to those who may hold the keys to life altering decisions. We probably over-think those things. I do know I've done that, and lived long enough to regret being less open than might have been desirable at the time.
Men demonstrate love through deeds. They will work extensive hours to ensure their family's financial well-being, prioritize others over themselves, and stay dedicated through hardships. They're willing to risk their lives for those they care about and exhibit strength and resilience in the face of adversity, maintaining stoicism as they understand the importance of providing security. However, society sometimes labels these characteristics as toxic masculinity. Instead of focusing on discussing emotions, men prefer to concentrate on providing and safeguarding their loved ones.
Fear of rejection, feeling as if putting themselves in that situation makes them weaker and just the fact that males aren’t as great with talking emotions. I generally tend to build up to the point of asking her out like it’s a slow dance with a long-path, i once used to be the “say it as it is and accept rejection” but after a very long time of doing it i eventually stopped doing it, it seems as if it scared females away more then it makes them appreciate it. Now i play it safer for myself but she also knows my intensions and we do it mutually apart from just one side jumping the “I love you, i want you forever” train. Only jump into it instantly if she’s at the point of my friend, then i always feel more ballsy and secure in doing so
I show my love every which way possibly could like I don't know lol I'm kinda old-school/new school n whatever else I could
Possibly think of or am n not realize is just like to start things off and do whatever I think she'll appreciate or whatever it is she would want or need n like live for everything that's after that tbh lol I mean I don't know if I can even say I do even though I've definitely have but not the way that's like really worth saying or anything cuz of everything that's just felt that was let up
Too much risk. I’ve had feelings for coworkers, and obviously confessing those feelings or acting on them in any way (complimenting her for example) is potentially career-ruining. I felt the same way when I was in college. If I became attracted to a female friend who was in all the same classes and sat next to me I never acted on it out of fear that it would make things very awkward if she didn’t feel the same.
In a world without consequences I may have acted differently in those situations.
Because when it comes to women they love, men take “actions speak louder than words,” seriously. We don’t have to express everything when we literally do things every single day to show you we care. What would you rather have a guy that does little in action and just says words all the time. Or someone who shows you everyday that he cars by his actions. A lot of women leave men that talk about emotional stuff all the time, that’s not what women want, women talk a lot of that and never really show it.
I'm not sure men have a bigger heart in general. Women generally gave a more caring nature. This is why social work, teaching, and nursing are all dominated by woman.
I will say though that a man who loves a woman will do so more than a woman will.
Hence why men go to war, women don't. women and children first, men last to get rescued. Having kids, husband knows he won't be the priority anynire but he does so anyways and continues to provide, not getting less attention at same time.
Because in the past , society has basically crushed the emotions of men , " never cry " , " gotta be tough " " your the provider " and all this other utter , utter bullsht , its created a situation for some men , particularly those involved in " blokey " pursuits , a circumstance that is extremely difficult to break.
Very simple actually: fear of rejection like others said. You enjoy being around this person so much that you don't want to lose that in case she finds out about your feelings and doesn't reciprocate them, so you might hide it for a while. Also, trying to find the right way of letting her know about those feelings can be tricky and he might have to think about how to do it right. He doesn't want to come on too strong etc. He might be waiting for the right moment like a party where you get drunk and loose with him or if you travel somewhere together where it's only you and him etc. If you know he has feelings, but he doesn't talk about it, then maybe you can talk about it or show him stronger signals about how much you enjoy being around him and that might bring it out.
Cause we are afraid she is going to stab it so we tend to hold walls up to a girl that we aren’t to sure about on whether she is in it for the long haul or not , Some girls’ don’t like hearing a guy expressing all his love to her , she tends to get turned off if a guy loves her too much so we hold back until we feel she loves us back the same
first i respond to if, not bigger instead each pair differs sometimes men feel more thsn her and other pairs less than her. about expressing many men assume the lady knows he loves her simply because he went to their meeting. rarely a man might also feel awkward to be mushy as if pals were watching and would tease, as preserved in pop film grease, so in words rare we show more than a kiss. but rarely words.
Because hearts are easy to be broken. Especially young guys want to avoid that since it would make them very miserable. So instead speaking about their feelings openly guys wait until they are sure it's safe to talk about feelings.
From a guy's point communicating your feelings through actions seems safer since that way no one can attack you directly and mess with them.
As long as you are not overly expressing it, then dudes should realize that women will NOT find it to be a turn off.
In fact, if you are a mans man, expressing your emotions only to her, will show her you trust her. And make her realize why you are with her. That would also be seen as only something you share with her. No one else. Just like making love.
one key issue here is being expected to "express' our feelings the same way you do but the thing is we don't. we express our way and often women fail to see/notice our way of expressing ourselves so falsely assume we are not expressing ourselves instead of taking the time to think outside of how they themselves express things.
actions speak louder than words
he doesn't need to say anything if he's volunteering to help the poor or donate to charity or put his life on the line for dangerous missions
Men are very afraid of rejection. We would rather spend time with the girl of interest and maybe drop small hints about our feelings. I for one have always told it like it is, and I think that sometimes scares women lol.
Judgement. Other men get it. Every woman I've ever showed a romantic side to has ridiculed me for it. Guys learn you give a woman just enough so that she knows you like her and want but no more lest she become drunk with that knowledge. It's better to risk losing her than lose control.
Because it's been in embedded in them from their fathers, and often times when a male expresses himself to a female the female is always right and the male is always wrong. Reason why most people give up dating and the divorce rates being so high. After so much emotional abuse selective mutism kicks in.
As far as I know, most of us do. But not in verbal ways. The majority of us aren't poets and will let our actions speak for us. Giving you ladies a compliment or saying "I love you" is about as far as we can go verbally without feeling uncomfortable with ourselves. And, of course, some of us can put sometime together in writing to express ourselves better than talking.
Because women don't actually want to hear about mens feelings. When men try to be open about how they feel, women get annoyed and hate the guy isn't this stoic, strong vizage they are used to. So we keep out emotions to ourselves, otherwise we would just be alone.
I think for some men they simply just can't put it into words at the moment and can't truly explain there feelings to their partner because there shy or think you might not recipicate their feelings and that they might not feel the same way
Men will open up with the right woman.
the woman have the power to lead in this regard. Try to understand him, his feelings, he might have been hurt. Be gentle with him, be kind, be loving…he will be all yours.
Be that woman he can’t resist that he feels safe emotionally.
That’s a pretty general statement. I’ve seen people who were very caring and kind and also people in between and on the opposite spectrum as being somewhat heartless. I don’t think most men like vulnerability though not all.
Many do, but its often way sooner or later than i prefer. So that makes me wanna pull away and then they regret ever being vulnerable. I don't know i just prefer we confess within a mutual moment
Because stereotypically women didn't want men that where too emotional and part of society plays into that with men like that being looked down on
I wouldn't say bigger heart. But boys are taught by mostly their mothers. (women)
To suppress their feelings from a young
age. It's okay for her five year old daughter to cry, after falling off a bicycle.
However, I've countless times witnessed
those same mothers, scold their even younger sons, with the all too familiar, you're a big boy and boys don't cry.
These behavioral patterns are reinforced
by girls, adolescent girls and later young women.
Women can be a bit hypocritical about this, truth be told. If a man doesn’t, then he’s cold, toxically masculine, an asshole, etc.
but if he does, he’s a pussy, he’s soft, he ain’t a man.
What MrOracle said is 100% correct.
As long as women expect men to express themselves the way women do, they will always be disappointed.
I wonder if society will ever get back to a place where men are allowed to be men without being judged for being different than women.
Basic evolution/religion. Well said.
Because you are listening to the wrong language. Just as women naturally talk about their emotions guy ACT out their emotions. It's literally hardwired in their brains.
but I hear that women act based on their emotions and men act based on their logic , how does a man act out their emotion?
@Reem12345reem He basically means our actions are our way of telling you our feelings, males generally aren’t as great about talking feelings. You can definitely easily tell how a man feels or thinks about you the way he treats you or how he behaved around you
@DamianTheSmikkelbeer A lot of men will treat u well in the beginning but end up leaving
@Reem12345reem Just because he leaves doesn’t mean he wasn’t initial attracted or in love with you, and you might be right to a degree. But still is a fact that you can tell how a man feels for you by the way he acts towards you and how he behaves with you around.
@Reem12345reem Okay, let me clarify. Under FMRI guys emotional centers are literally wired to the centers for action. Guys do what they feel, if they feel friendly they act friendly, if they are in love they act that way, etc. While in female brains the centers for emotions are tied to the centers for speech, so women talk about how they feel. If a woman is sad, she says "I am sad" if a guy is sad he does things such as mope. Not saying that guys can't talk about their emotions , they can. But they express them in a very physical way. This is a common source of frustration in both sexes, Galls wanting guys to talk about how they feel while not seeing how they are feeling. Its a disconnect.
now I understand 👍🏻
I have noticed a lot of men are more sensitive than me.. they will not say their true feelings until I have hurt them.. and even then they won't admit it.. Yet I know why they are upset..
I'd say women are more often the ones who have trouble expressing it more often and act cold. When is the last time you saw a woman be told they are "simping"? If anything, men express it too much to women who haven't earned it.
I think I have always been able to express myself in that regard to the women I've been with.
I may not express myself all the time, but I certainly do it more than the average bear.
Well men also go through pain from other sources but we don’t talk about it. We’re taught to suppress our emotions while women and girls can express it. If a guy or man expresses his emotions it’s seen as less masculine.
Because over time men shut off their emotions because they believe that’s what masculinity is about strong, silent rock. Then later on it was left up to women to bring out those emotions. Because we’re supposed to be soft delicate flowers.
Guys have trouble expressing their feelings. But I think in general girls tend to be more empathetic.
Women are sociopaths and will grind an emotionally vulnerable man down into a pulp for her own amusement.
Because there's a thing manyen believe and that's when a guy opens up about their feelings, the woman loses interest, it is what it is I guess.
Many men*
Because action speak louder than words. Men like to say things like i love you but nothing they do is showing that. The walk up to a woman and tell them they love them they the try have sex with them. Thats not love thats lust.
Not just that, just explaining your feelings, shows a form of weakness which women don't really seem to like I guess, if a guy walks up to you and tells you they love you, that should be a red flag in general tho lol
The heart (cardiac muscle) ain’t the centre of emotion or love. That is some sort of (series of) chemical reactions in the brain, or maybe in the whole body. This heartless man got a fake cardiac and I doubt he was a psychopath.
Sometimes its not easy for us guys to speak.
We are taught having a sensitive side or caring makes us look unattractive. Society frowns upon it. We can't speak our minds because women dont understand or think we are weak.
Well, when this occurs, it's generally because he's not sure what she is thinking about him and how to proceed
If you are referring to male hearts being larger physically, that has nothing to do with emotions, only in blood pumping ability. Having a good heart and expressing that comes from the brain!
Some guys are so shy they’re afraid of failure, afraid to make a move. They can’t get in touch with their feelings. And tell the girl how they really feel. Sad
It ain't that easy. Women have bigger feelings and certainly are more emotional and at times can't find ways to express themselves either! Men usually hold back and try to avoid what she's going to bring anyway.
They're too afraid to open up. Why because they more comfortable around their friends then around women that they want to attract. Telling you the facts 🥺😐
Maybe men have a different way of expressing and it does not register well when measured by a woman's standard.
its usually embarased if in public or ashamed and its steriotyped that men have to be tough and senseless
I admit it, I have a bigger heart. But when it comes to expressing my love, I am slow and scared of rejection. I am trying to overcome my fears and nervousness.
Whenever i ask this n i hav from many tbh... they say its not in their nature
Men having a bigger heart how? You mean physically speaking or is there some article that says men are more compassionate than women are?
Because women are bitches. So we're not going to expose our heart to a person who is just going to be mean and hurt us.
In my experience women are the ones who are cold and unexpressive while I am the one who is warm and constantly expressing affection.
Fear. Women think they have big egos, but you should see the size of a mans ego. It's all about the fear of being judged, and rejection
They do. They provide and protect you. They'll die and sacrifice themselves to make sure you and the kids are safe. They'll show with actions. Not words
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