Why do so many guys lie about being perfect?

Question

Ah guys I feel so sad.

Why do most guys that come into my life paint themselves out to be someone they’re not?

Why do they lie to me to come off as perfect, rather than just be honest about who they are.

They try to paint themselves out to be really good men, who don’t do anything they shouldn’t, but later I discover they’re not.

It makes it so hard for me to trust anyone.

Why do some guys do that?

PragmaticProfit · Accepted Answer

People frequently expect men to be perfect, but many men don't realize that women are more attracted to authenticity than just being a "nice guy." However, it's crucial for this authenticity to convey strength. Admitting to weaknesses and insecurities won't be very effective, but demonstrating that you have challenges, like anger, and are highly disciplined in managing them can be appealing. Women are frequently drawn to men who have the potential to be monsters, but consciously and consistently choose to exhibit goodness through self-control and determination.

OfMiceandMen · Accepted Answer

I think they like you so much, they feel as though they have to impress you by lying. It goes back to the whole competition to keep her thing.

I've never been a fan of that scenario, you essentially sell yourself to someone for their approval.

The way I look at it, just be yourself and hopefully she will be too. Nobody's perfect so why claim to be?

My philosophy is: Take me as I am with all the good and bad. If I'm not good enough, then they are obviously looking for a relationship that is based on lies and perfection, that is really unattainable.

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

People will try to look at their 'best' to try and get the person they like to like them back. Some of them just don't know how to properly make someone to like them.

belle_kai · Accepted Answer

It's like an interview for a job they want you to see their best self

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Well... they're trying to impress the woman and they're worried that the person they really are wouldn't get the job done.

inhua · Answer

most guys are honest with themselves because the factors women judge men on can be objectively measured and can't be faked

how is a 5'3 dude gonna tell you he's 6'3?

how is a dude wearing torn rags gonna tell you he's a multi-billionaire?

how is a chubby dude gonna tell you he's a pro-athlete?

plus people bullshit about wanting authenticity anyway when they deep down want perfection in a partner. I don't condone lying but sometimes people gotta do what they gotta do to achieve their goals

Finchie40 · Answer

Most guys feel they need to impress a girl to get her to like him and to be interested in him , So he talks bullshit trying to get her to be interested in him , it’s honestly a stupid way but sadly it works on some girls ‘ that are to dippy brained that fall for it , When a guy feels he is impressing a girl she is going to want him , it builds his ego, if she is drawn to it. I have witnessed so many guys talk out of their asses to impress a girl , it is kind of funny to watch if she falls for it and he gets her to go home with him , some girl’s know a guy is bullshitting them but the fact that he is trying to impress her gets her turned on that he is making that effort , So it’s something most guys do when they really like a girl

RealMarek · Answer

Well, from what I’ve observed it’s common for people to exaggerate and pad their CVs. Integrity is either widespread in a society or it is not, and if it is lacking it will affect all areas of life, not just business.

The only way I know of to establish trust is to have consistency. In relationships, this means taking things slowly and seeing if someone is who they say they are, especially when they are frustrated or around people of a lesser station in life that they can get away with mistreating.

BeMuse · Answer

People are complex. We all have layers. When they're exposing their good traits, that's just when you happen to find them attractive and give them a chance. When they're showing their bad traits, you run away. In reality everyone is a mix of good and bad traits. You just have to find a balance that works for you. If you're never willing to deal with someone's bad side, then you'll never get to hold on to their good side. You want to live in fantasy land, but all men live in reality.

MementoMori777 · Answer

They pat themselves on the back to get the girl not realizing the truth always comes out at some point, temporary victory I suppose

kakaling · Answer

Let me tell you a story,

my illusionary guy friend is working as a cleaner in a mansion, he has the key to the mansion, he sometimes helps the owner to refuel his luxury car.

Every day, the guy friend, wear the shirt of his mansion owner, drive the luxury car, and pick up a girl from the pub, back to the mansion and bang like crazy.

He doesn't spend any money on the girl and get paid by the mansion owner.

Buttajah · Answer

I hear girls do the same. So, let's say
there are a lot of people that paint
themselves to match their ideal of
what they believe most men or women
desire.

I embrace my shortcomings and flaws,
because perfection is an unobtainable
illusion.

Anonymous · Answer

Because guys KNOW how judgmental women are. Also dating is purely a numbers game to men. women don't need to be this way because at least 50% of men will find a woman attractive. Conversely women only find 10% of men attractive. So men know honesty will get the eliminated by women. Also women struggle to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. So guys KNOW women would much rather hear a pleasant fantasy rather than a unpleasant reality.

RavVid · Answer

It doesn't occur to an honest man to need to say he is honest. If someone tells you are honest it is a red flag that they are dishonest. Applies to girls just as much.

Mark987 · Answer

They try to paint a picture that they're not. Maybe insecurities.. and in my opinion in their head if they get on foot through the door with a woman.. she might not care. Men also will lie and pretend to be something they're not for a woman

exitseven · Answer

Everyone tries to make a good impression. That is why you date somebody for while before you jump into bed with him.

Redstang88 · Answer

Everybody’s trying to put on their best appearance at the start, you think girls are out there advertising how batshit crazy they are on the first date?

aoihewgf · Answer

Who says their perfect? Guys will rate themselves 5s, 6s, 7s,  Girls... 10, 10 ,20, 10, 10, and then the only one who is actually hot will say 9

YourExLover69 · Answer

They want your attention, love and advantage. That's why they lie.  Same thing happened with me. I wasted my time talking with few people in the end they ghosted and ignored me 😔

Twalli · Answer

They're perfect, for someone. Obviously that someone is not you, but there's no way to know that until you date them. I didn't know I was perfect for my girlfriend and vice versa. We didn't know in the early dates either.

Summeroflove · Answer

NOBODY is perfect. Anyone who tells me this other then Jesus will be laughed at

MrCommodore · Answer

Not me, I'm just an average asshole, but my puppy dog eyes compensate for any negative stuff.

Anonymous · Answer

They try to paint themselves out to be really good men, who don’t do anything they shouldn’t, but later I discover they’re not. what do you mean by this? I am curious

YourToy69 · Answer

If they do that you would find another. They play the game and use marketing

Why do so many guys lie about being perfect?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do so many guys lie about being perfect?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.