A:
When I can see that the girl doesn't care much about her imperfections, she's confident regardless, I don't even notice her imperfections first and I still find her beautiful.
B:
When I can see that the girl is a little embarrassed and shy because of her insecureness, she's a little nervous keeping an eye contact or she dresses in black or just in not very outstanding clothes because she doesn't want to stand alone or she just doesn't look confident at all while walking - then she doesn't get my attention and her insecureness are more visible to me then and I see her as an unapproachable.
C
I don't find her attractive no matter if she's confident or accepts herself the way she is, she isn't scared of being noticed, she wears what she wants etc... Because it all doesn't make her imperfections dissappear
What Guys Said
Attraction and perceptions of beauty can vary greatly among individuals. What one person finds attractive, another person may not. It's important to remember that beauty is subjective and influenced by personal preferences and societal standards.
Some individuals may find imperfections endearing or even attractive, as they can add uniqueness and character to a person's appearance. Others may have different preferences and prioritize different qualities.
Confidence and self-acceptance can certainly enhance someone's attractiveness, as these qualities often radiate positivity and draw others towards them. However, it's important to note that beauty and attraction are multifaceted and can be influenced by various factors, including personal preferences, cultural influences, and individual experiences.
Ultimately, it's essential to focus on valuing individuals for who they are as a whole, rather than solely judging them based on their imperfections or appearance. Respect and appreciation for each person's individuality and uniqueness can lead to more meaningful connections and relationships.
Great answer. It's all true and logical but I forget it so often, every time I get nervous and insecure. I focus on now, instead of thinking beyond the situation. I worry if I look good in a certain moment and if I don't it can literally stop me from doing so many important things and I can even stay at home sometimes. I can't enjoy the moment, the place where I'm at, I can't appreciate the things around me, that I'm young and healthy and I can't see my good traits then.
It's understandable that feelings of nervousness and insecurity can overshadow your ability to focus on the bigger picture and appreciate the present moment. Many people experience similar struggles, and it can be challenging to break free from those patterns of negative thinking.
One helpful approach is to practice mindfulness and self-compassion. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment, allowing you to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions as they arise. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to observe your negative thoughts without getting caught up in them, and instead, redirect your attention to the present and the positive aspects of your life.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend who is going through a difficult time. When you notice self-critical thoughts or worries about your appearance, try to counter them with self-compassionate and positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your worth, your good qualities, and the things you appreciate about yourself.
Additionally, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. They can provide guidance and techniques to help you overcome self-doubt, manage anxiety, and develop a more positive and confident mindset.
Remember that change takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself. Practice self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you.
You're really smart, how old are you? You must have a good relationship with yourself, thanks for your advice and time.
I am very aware of my emotions. And the negativity stops me from doing many things, the stress and that insecurity paralyze me, prevent me from thinking logically and seeing the bigger picture so reminding myself of my worth, good qualities, and the things I appreciate about myself would definitely help.
My self worth is based too much on my appearance.. And I'm not hanging out with anybody and life is easier when you have friends.. If I had some friends I could talk to them how I feel, what my insecurities are and I'd feel accepted and more like a human... Because now my imagination makes up unrealistic things...
I need to look good in order to put myself out there, start talking to people and achieving my dreams, if I don't feel good enough I stay at home, wait until I feel good enough. It's a vicious cycle
Thank you for your kind words! I'm just 26!
It's great that you're aware of your emotions and recognize the impact they have on your life. Dealing with negativity, stress, and insecurity can be challenging, but there are strategies you can use to overcome these obstacles and improve your overall well-being.
Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, question their validity. Are they based on facts or just assumptions? Try to reframe negative thoughts into more positive and realistic ones.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that everyone has flaws and insecurities, and it's okay to have them too. Practice self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your self-esteem.
Focus on your strengths: Instead of solely basing your self-worth on your appearance, shift your focus to your positive qualities, skills, and achievements. Make a list of your strengths and remind yourself of them regularly.
Seek support: While having friends can certainly provide a sense of acceptance and support, remember that true friends appreciate you for who you are, beyond your appearance. Consider reaching out to trusted individuals, such as family members, mentors, or counselors, who can provide guidance and lend an empathetic ear.
Engage in social activities: Joining groups, clubs, or organizations that align with your interests can be a great way to meet like-minded people and build friendships. Participating in social activities exposes you to new experiences and helps you develop social skills.
Everyone has imperfections. For most guys, if she looks good to him overall (which doesn't mean she needs to be a 10 - just not a 2), then it's more about her personality and attitude. Most guys won't be nitpicking at her minor imperfections, knowing that he has his own.
If you are going after the top guys - the good looking, popular ones that every girl wants, then you can expect the guy to be more selfish, picky, and demanding - that's just part of the package. That group of guys works on a whole different set of rules, because demand for them massively out-strips the supply.
Very aptly said. As much as everybody subconsciously wants a good looking guy, not everybody likes him being popular. Some people naturally prefer more quiet and calm people.
But sadly most of attractive people are popular and it all together often makes them jerks.. If people weren't that superficial it wouldn't be a problem.
I'm humble and many guys told me I'm really pretty but I'm not confident. And I have good personality, I live more for other people not myself. It's just how I was raised I guess. I don't have a healthy relationship with myself now.
Why can't somebody be attractive and confident and humble?
I am on my phone so I don't have graphs or resources handy, but generally, women rate men's looks much more harshly than the men rate women, and as a result, the pool of men that women rate as physically attractive is quite small, especially compared with the pool of women who want them. This gives those good-looking guys a massive advantage, because they have nearly endless options with women.
When anyone is able to get as much as they want of something very easily, they're never going to value or respect it. It's really that simple. But most women don't realize just how different things are for that top 5-10% of men and every other man.
Try to imagine a world where men only found supermodels and leading actresses attractive - and every other woman was invisible. You went somewhere with your girlfriends, and literally NO men even glanced in your direction. Other pretty girls around also got no attention. Any interactions with men would be brief and business-like, at a distance. And this happened everywhere you went.
That's more or less how the lower 90% of men get treated - invisible. The girls instead chase and fight over the guys who don't value or respect them except for what they provide in the bedroom - until he gets bored or she becomes a hassle. That's modern dating.