I’m kinda torn, I don’t usually get affected my social media behavior, but I actually have a crush on this guy lol. We are friends on FB and interact here and there, we’re both too active on there. So I sent him a follow request on IG and he quickly accepted it but didn’t request to follow me back. I kinda feel like a fool, I hope he doesn’t think I’m pushy or something. Has anyone else experienced this?
Why would someone you know accept your follow request but not send you back one?
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Opinion
1Opinion
Presumably because their life isn't defined by social media.
This shouldn't be news to you but 'you have a serious mental disorder' I suggest you do something about that.
You need to learn to love and validate yourself instead of looking to facebook to do it for you.
It is not at all ok, healthy or normal to give any kind of shit whether someone has +1'd you.
I don’t have a mental disorder either, I’m asking for opinions that’s it. It’s what most people come on this platform to do on a variety of topics. Maybe it’s considered mental for some but not for me. People kill themselves over mental disorders, they are put into hospitals, I can assure you that wondering why someone didn’t add me on social media won’t make me wanna kill myself neither would it have me admitted to an institution. I know they must have a lot of people on here who does what he did
, I’m asking for opinions and possible reasons that’s it. Unfortunately we live in an age where people play games with each other’s feelings, and social media behavior as a lot to do with it. I thought if I get some opinions I can just let go and avoid being hurt.
You are not getting this, nor do you understand anything about mental disorders.
You don't have to be suicidal to have a mental problem.
Listen to me carefully; your self esteem, self worth, who you are etc should be defined BY YOU INTERNALLY. When you are capable of doing this it will never matter whether or not someone has done whatever on social media or in the real world because you aren't allowing other people or external things to define you.
You are not supposed to get upset when someone does or doesn't whatever you. You are supposed to have a positive mental attutide and just think that maybe they are too busy or not into social media or something. You are taking it personally, you using the information to form opinions about whether someone likes you or not.
Yeah, I would personally take that as a sign that he is not as interested in you as you are in him.
I understand, thank you!
So who’s been pursuing the other more? Initiating conversations and such? Responding faster, varying conversations, etc?
I sent the FB request and he accepted it quickly. This was over a year ago, since then we both message each other more or less the same amount. He initiates at times then I do as well. We don’t chat that much, but we have a few things in common that we talk about, sports, university, food and and spirituality. In terms of interacting with posts, he never did lol. But he always views stories. I’m not expecting too much from him, I’ve had crushed before and it went away, the same might happen here. I just don’t like embarrassing myself or having people make fun of me behind my back. I try not to bombard him with lots of interaction because of this
Got it.
Initially I was just curious what your dynamic with him is like, because my thoughts were that if you were the one putting in more effort or more being persistent then that could speak to his level of interest, if any.
However it may not even have to be an a matter of who likes who more, just where he’s at in his life right now. It’s possible that he’s somewhat involved with a woman you don’t know about, and he doesn’t want her to see a new addition on his friends list. It’s more common than I even realized for women to monitor their partners friends lists and social media activity, this site has made that clear to me lol.
Of course we could chop it up to other things. Maybe he’s unavailable, or even just didn’t think to add you back, who knows.
At the end of the day though, who has time for all this analyzing and our assumptions. I think it’s better to just take it at face value, which is that he simply didn’t request you in return. You don’t have to make it mean more than it is in your head, feel embarrassed or dumb for doing it.
If you want to continue your conversations then there’s no harm in that, and if this experience has put you off from him, that’s fine too. Just don’t invest more time than necessary over who didn’t add who, it’s just not that deep and a lot of people would say not to even pay too much attention to social media antics in general.
Hi, thanks for the response and advice. I have a feeling there’s probably more than I know and he’s somewhat hiding that he’s dating or with someone else. The topic did come up if we were single and while I replied with a clear “yes”, he seemed confused lol. I thought it was a guy thing since most of my guy friends say they have “just friends” but it’s usually more. I won’t pry at all, I think you’re right and it’s best to keep conversations normal. Tbh I may just send him Birthday greetings soon and leave it as that for now. I don’t usually play the runner/chaser, or “play hard to get” games, but I understand I need to careful. Probably take hints and respect his boundaries even if he doesn’t say anything. Thanks once again for your advice 😊