When a guy says he has high standards does that mean he's afraid of commitment?

[Bethany22]

What do guys mean when they say they have really high standards for the women they choose? Does it mean he's impossible to please and that I should run away and not fall into the trap of hoping that I'm the one who will meet his high standards? Is it even a player thing to say, as many women do find themselves hoping their the ones who are good enough for him?

[caring__1]

If a guy likes what he sees in you, he'll tell you so. If he says he has high standards, he probably has an ideal you don't match or will expect you to mold yourself into his ideal. Most times, when a person says high standards, those standards are unrealistic fantasies, and the person is looking for a partner to increase their status. Ask them to define these high standards and whether he brings the same high standards to the relationship. Too often, people feel entitled to receive more than they bring to the relationship. When I hear women expecting high standards, I often view them as high maintenance and pass them by.

[Tomisworthless]

A guy with high standards must mean he gets a lot of female attention and needs to be selective which isn’t the life of 80% of males

[inhua]

no he just wants to commit to the right woman

someone he can proudly bring home to meet his parents i. e. no promiscuity

someone whom the relationship can last to the very end i. e. no cheating or divorce

someone who doesn't cause unnecessary drama in his life i. e. gossiping

then again how "high" are "high standards" a man has for a woman?

is wanting a kind-hearted, respectful woman too high of a standard?

how about a woman who isn't materialistic and likes spending his money?

is wanting a virgin "too high" of an impossible standard to reach?

how about a woman who's in shape, doesn't do drugs, alcohol, smoke or have tattoos and piercings?

a lot of male standards for women are a baseline default and somewhat achievable. it's not the same as judging someone for their height, age, jawline, disabilities and ethnicity which can't be changed

yes boob and butt size can be an issue but most men can learn to find ways to be satisfied with what they have. men aren't that emotionally driven and tend to favor logic first over emotions. a guy who is a plumber would happily remain a plumber for the rest of his life that is until his boss, colleagues or clients start treating him like shit

[DaveJord]

You said;

"Does it mean he's impossible to please and that I should run away and not fall into the trap of hoping that I'm the one who will meet his high standards?"


I usually run the other way when women, give me the impression that she has unrealistic standards. Its usually code for, I am undatable, or that I am really happy being single... and the justification for her high standard have nothing to do with me, but everything to do with her. Because if all these guys she had, date had actually met her standards... then the problem would have been with her. But as long as these men never met her standards, then the obviously the problem is not with her.

[glennos89]

Him having high standards means that he isn't going to fuck just any girl that comes up to him. He is selecting the girls he likes and prefers and the rest of them are having no chance whatsoever to get him.

I would highly advise you to give him a chance because if he likes you... You have high chance he is a good guy that isn't going to cheat just like that because he is selective in choosing woman.

Most guys fuck anyone they are able to. Most guys don't have high standards and therefore he is different

Personally I'm also very selective when it comes to choosing a woman that I want to be my mine. I don't cheat, I don't fuck arround meaning that I dont do one-nightstands. I would rather choose to have no sex at all, then having sex with someone I'm not willing to build a long term relationship with.

I think your guy is the same on that. Thats what he most likely means with having high standards 😉

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. How old is he? I mean I might word it much the same way. But that doesn't mean I'm afraid of commitment. It simply means I've been single for a long enough time and built a life around that that she has to show me how having her in my life makes it better. And don't take offense to that. Women's knee-jerk reaction to that is hostility. I'm not saying she has to prove herself to me. I'm simply saying to be a good friend in partner you have to put forth consistent effort. She take my commitment to the bank. I pride myself on my word. But something so good doesn't come cheap. She has to earn that commitment from me.

So I don't know if this guy is like me or not. If I were you I'd watch his words vs. He actions. Does he mean what he says and do what he means. Because there's your answer.

[lightbulb27]

It means he's from a culture where he's the boss and she's lower. Getting him on one knee... good luck. I'd run

You may have to ask him what he means since you aren't a mind reader.

It may mean physically, he expects her to keep in shape or else.

I can only guess if he said it to you, it means, you don't measure up in some way.

It may mean he expects her to be pure... virgin.

I've never heard a guy say this...

[AaronKrieger]

He could've been exaggerating a little bit or maybe not 🤷‍♂️ I have high standards, but that's because I care about compatibility long-term. Everyone is different

I would just see things through and if it works out. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't.

[LiamJHayden]

It could mean that. Of course it depends what he means by "high standards." If the standards are absurd - like requiring a 21-year-old drop-dead gorgeous wealthy virgin - then he probably wants to avoid marriage. If the standards are reasonable, he probably just wants someone better than the typical Plenty of Fish pickings.

[Lliam]

I don't think it means that he is afraid of commitment. It doesn't necessarily mean that he has impossibly high or unrealistic standards. I think it just means that he will commit to a woman he respects and admires and is a good fit.

[blissinanarchy1]

I put in 100% effort and date for marriage, and that effort shouldn’t be given to just anyone.

So my bare minimum expectations: No OnlyFans, anyone you slept with gotta go. Not having a high bodycount.

Then you got to go through a slew of other qualities and traits

[RealMarek]

This depends on the guy. Some guys are impossible to please. For me, having high standards meant making sure I ended up with a woman who owns her own decisions, is deeply kind, and with whom there was mutual love and attraction.

[HighValue]

It could mean he has standards of a good moral woman with a good past, which somehow now is seen as high standards because the majority of women have very low morals and a bad unacceptable past.

[OfMiceandMen]

It just means he likes to make it unrealistic for women to attain his goals/objectives in a partner.

It's called being conceded, because he thinks he's all that and more.

[richardcory]

I think many people are selective about who they want to date long term, but most don't talk about it in terms of standards. To me it seems a strange way to put things - judgmental.

[Gent207-2]

Any one of those possibilities - you should discuss it further by asking "what are your stanards?" Or what do you mean by that?

[BoopBoopBeep]

You should ask him what those standards are. Maybe they're not that high. Maybe they are. At least you'll know if they're reachable.

[Blueeyes81]

No. It means he has high standards, that simple. Most won't meet those standards but most will set themselves up for disappointment trying. Its just like women with high standards. Most men won't mdrt them but damned if they don't try.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Keep this in mind “MEN ARE SIMPLE” you need to first better understand male nature

what we want or expect from women any woman can provide this is why a girl who is broke can still get a high value man

[Stoner710]

Not necessarily, it might mean he’s like me who wants a conservative non Christian women who’s of average weight and hight.

[shortster]

I have high standards but am not afraid of commitment. However, I don't tell women that I am dating that I have high standards. I just talk about what I am looking for on a relationship and about my values that I hope she shares.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

High standards could mean he likes a woman to just be what he wants her to be, and she should make a lot of money.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Bethany22 I want a woman who is like myself middle class income, not high society or high maintenance.

[DiegoO]

It means, we have hight standards. Nothing else. But I would be aware. There is a difference between wanting high standard, and been in the same level of that standard.

[slatyb]

I don't know what they mean, but I know what they are saying: "I'm an arrogant prick"

[BlackJeep]

Not at all. It's real easy for him to say that if he has a lot of options and not afraid of losing you.

[TooHot2Care]

It means we're not settling for ugly girls, and just because you are good looking? Does not mean you are it. . . . .

[DextroShade]

High standards can simply mean "Not fat, not a hoe, not a bitch" these days because most modern women fail to meet it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

When a person says such statement it means meet my needs and all my requirements while I barely give you ish back.

[Staximus]

Just be a good person and if that's not enough then the hell with him

[Anonymous]

Why do you assume that if he has high standards then he won't want you? If you like the guy, have some self respect and go for it.

[Shy_Steve]

I reckon it does mean He is Afraid of Commitment.

[Sabretooth]

strong morals and values, likes video games, a sense of humor and sexually open-minded.

[SadyConfused1998]

I think it means he is just too picky

[DJB72]

It likely means he's a narcissist.

[TallAnon]

No, it means he has high standards.

[LostandFound__x]

How did he say it?