How to not feel hurt?

[Anonymous]

I find it very upsetting and even, heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹 that my boyfriend has done everything with other people before meeting me. (I’ve done nothing) Sex, making out, oral, etc all of that stuff. I feel like he’s done it so much all the magic and butterflies of the first times are gone for him. Whenever we do something he always just seems so uninterested compared to me. Everything is the most wonderful thing for me , but it’s like he’s already done everything so much it’s become stale or just second nature. Nothing seems as important to him as it does me. But I think I’m over analyzing everything and he is someone that tends to not show much emotion in any regard not just the bedroom, but I am very expressive. How do I rewire my brain to not be upset about this? I don’t think I’m necessarily feeling jealousy I just wish he’d be a bit more enthusiastic for me, even if he is faking it. Sigh …

[NamerOfStars]

Remember that butterflies aren't the only source of magic. Think of the... um, whatever insect it is that represents skill, rather than novelty. Dragonflies? Portia spiders, maybe?

However that metaphor breaks down, a person's sexual "first times" are often awkward and clunky, and frequently disappointing- not for lack of effort, but because sexual skills are just like any other, and require practice and communication to do properly. You may not be his first, but you can still be his best.

[Asker]

Thankyou. And I love Portia spiders I just learnt about them today

[NamerOfStars]

Portias are great. Such fascinating creatures.

Do note, however, that I wasn't suggesting you cannibalize your boyfriend. I THINK that goes without saying, but just to be sure...

[RyanK9b]

Just see it different as it is.
He maybe did all that but it can be better with other partners, so with you.

He will have fun with you more if said activities are with you better. Just let him teach you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Asking anon so would be hard to help ya. Good luck