Guy is an asshole?

[Anonymous]

I texted him on his birthday but he didn't respond to me. He was online until 2 am but no reaction or response to my text. I wrote happy birthday 🎂.

No reply.

He was also acting a bit weird on his birthday, He was at university, came early and was studying. Then got himself free food from a cheap stall and ate that. Then he was telling a friend that he's going to the post office to buy supplies and post a few papers. Later on, he simply wrote his essay and helped out a friend with his essay.

Last year, he was enjoying himself but this year he was acting different. Just the next day after his birthday, he worked 2 days 11 hour shifts at his part time job.

He started coming online after I texted him but he did not reply to me.

I am hurt and upset. Should I block him or am I overreacting?

ChatGPT

I understand that you're feeling hurt and upset by his behavior, especially since you wished him a happy birthday and didn't receive a response. It's natural to have these feelings when someone you care about doesn't acknowledge your message, especially on a special occasion like a birthday.

Blocking someone is a significant step, and it's worth considering having an open and honest conversation with him first to express your feelings and ask about his behavior. There might be reasons for his actions that you're not aware of, and communication can help clarify any misunderstandings.

If, after a conversation, you still feel that his behavior is hurtful or not aligned with your expectations in the relationship, then you can make a decision about whether or not to continue the connection or block him. It's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and take the steps that make you feel most comfortable in this situation.

[Anonymous]

After reading this post along with your comments to others, I would say that yes, deleting him and moving on will be the best case. Initially I was going to say something along the lines of what Spartan said, in the sense that maybe this guy forgot to log out of his account and has it open in the background. But if you know for sure that is not the case, beyond reasonable doubt, then I think it’s safe to assume he’s ignored your comment. To which I’d say the answer is clear — he’s just not that into you. I’m sure this is a bit confusing since he wanted to hook up, but we’d for men is such an easy, passive thing. They can get it from any willing woman and she likely doesn’t require much work at all, so he’s not going to put that effort in.


In all honesty, it’s pretty degrading that he only wants sex from you and not to build a meaningful connection. So you shouldn’t be hurt by a man who put so little value on you as a woman, because nothing was coming from that besides getting laid and disregarded or discarded afterwards. You can do better, and should want more for yourself than that.

[Asker]

Is he misogynistic?

He also doesn't delete me and each time he sees me withdrawing from him, hewill try to patch things up

[Asker]

I'm not hurt but I want to get rid of him. But he's like this leech who is stuck. Yesterday I saw him and he was smiling and he saw me with my friend then came to join at the queue for coffee with his friend and was again smiling. He also turned to look at us.

This dude is not normal

[Opinion Owner]

Based on what you’ve said, this doesn’t sound like misogyny, just a dude who’s disinterested outside of sex. If you have self control, then it shouldn’t be hard getting rid of him, more than anything because you don’t have to engage. Like when he’s trying to patch things up, you aren’t obligated to have that conversation and the only reason it’s taking place is probably you feeling guilty about being mean, maybe having a lingering crush or whatever prompts you to respond — that is what you need to stop. He does what he does because he doesn’t realize there’s a problem, he also doesn’t know that you wanna get rid of him and consider him a leech. So relay these things, tell him you’re disinterested in anything outside of being cool with one another and pretend he doesn’t exist when you’re apart.

[Asker]

But why do you think he's hiding the fact that he's seeing someone from me? What does he gain by that?

[Opinion Owner]

So the whole thing was about hooking up right? Some women would not want to mess with him if they know he’s got a girlfriend, others don’t give a damn and would have sex regardless. In my opinion, he’s playing it safe and assuming you wouldn’t be down anymore if you knew he’s taken.

[Asker]

But he never agrees to meet or go out so how can he have sex? He can't since he's not meeting me

[Opinion Owner]

True, but there’s no rush, that’s the thing. If he’s seeing someone else, obviously he’s getting laid, so he doesn’t need it from you. And to be honest, we don’t know how serious he was about hooking up in the first place. It could’ve been something he thought was a good idea before and now not so much.

[Asker]

Then why doesn't he leave? Each time I ask him he refuses?

[Opinion Owner]

Leave what?

[Asker]

Leave me. He doesn't want to cut contact. When he's getting laid and doesn't need me so why stay in contact?

[Opinion Owner]

You say “leave you” as if there’s a relationship intact, that’s not the case. Leaving the lines of communication is another thing, because if he burns the bridge with you then there’s no chance of hooking up. That’s why it’s up to you to sever the contact, but judging by how you ignored my comment about that earlier, it sounds like you aren’t quite ready to close that door for good. Hopefully I’m wrong, and you start doing your part to finalize things. Also, please keep in mind that just because a man is in a relationship does NOT mean he’s a good partner. This guy can be shady as fuck behind his GFs back and she would have no idea if he’s good at hiding it. Typical scumbag.

[Asker]

I have read your answer and I agree but I'm asking that when he won't meet me then how can he hook up so what's the point of keeping communication open from hisvside?

I'm cutting him off

[Opinion Owner]

Ok cool, just didn’t seem like it but I’m glad you did and it’s even better you’re gonna cut him off. I think he’s keeping the communication open as a backup plan, and also the fact that you see each other in person, maybe he doesn’t want an awkward vibe. But whatever the case, he’s a scumbag, not worth much time or thought

[Asker]

No he doesn't have to keep contact. He's getting laid so why?

[Opinion Owner]

How many times do I have to repeat the same thing I’ve said to you only for you to keep asking this same question? Who gives a fuck anyway you’re cutting ties with the guy for a reason, you don’t have to know why he does what he does and clearly you don’t have the balls to ask him yourself. I hate that I keep saying the same thing and you re-ask it, listen to what I’m telling you or post this question again.

[Hulk_kitty]

I think you are overreacting to this situation, I don't respond to every text my friends sends me. My friend sent me a text Sunday morning, how are you doing? I didn't bother replying to him. And sometimes they don't responded to my text.

Blocking him is flaming stupid for lack of reponse to a text. He hasn't really done anything substantially wrong.

[Hulk_kitty]

However Chatgpt had a good very good explanation to your situation. I 100% agree with it.

[ProbablyClueless]

I had a situation like that come up with a woman I used to talk with. I told her that I graduated and she couldn't even be bothered to send me a "congratulations."

That was the end of that.

[bowenw]

I think it depends on who he is to you. If he's your boyfriend I would have expected him to reply right away. If he's an acquaintance, I don't think it's unreasonable for him to not reply immediately.

[spartan55]

Who th responds to all of their birthday wishes? No one I've ever known. I'm curious how you know how he spends every minute of his day?

[Asker]

Can't even write thank

[spartan55]

You think he thanked anyone?

[Asker]

Definitely

[spartan55]

Doubt it. You sound like the type that is always going to be pissed about something.

[Asker]

So why was he online until 2 am? Simply sitting on whatsapp and doing nothing?

[spartan55]

Just because it says he is online doesn't mean he is, maybe he forgot to logout.

[Asker]

No he didn't. He was constantly online then going offline which clear means he was talking to someone

[spartan55]

So who is he?

[Asker]

A guy who wants to hook up

[spartan55]

Why are you chasing him around so much? How do you know so many details about his every move?
So you expect a guy who wants to hook up (which means he has no respect for you) to thank for wishing him happy birthday? You are out of your mind.

[Asker]

You seem ibsane yourself. If he doesn't want to he's free to delete or tell me to not contact me

[Ironic_Method]

I feel like you're overreacting. I wouldn't feel obligated to respond to every single happy birthday I got.

[Asker]

How's this overreacting?

[Ironic_Method]

I mean... you called him an asshole and are considering blocking to him because he didn't respond to a happy birthday.

[shades777]

so what?