Boyfriend blames every angry outburst on bipolar, but it’s damaging and I don’t wanna b insensitive what do I do?

[Anonymous]

He constantly calls me stupid and useless and blames it on his bipolar everytime he does that and gets more angry after I bring it up , he has never apologized or acknowledged it or even tried to work on preventing those outbursts. For context he said i was being “whiny” when i couldn’t get a word in on a topic we were discussing so for our two year he was gonna only give me a middle finger. That was hurtful bc i can’t tell if he’s serious or not bc of how much he does this. Am i being insensitive to him or rational lmk?

[provokeesmokee]

If he can't manage his bipolar disorder in a way that lets him keep healthy relationships, then he's not ready to be in one.

Yes he has a disorder. No, it does not excuse him from needing to act in a respectable, healthy way.

If that means you don't date him, then that means you don't date him. Stand up for yourself. Don't let him use his illness as an excuse.

My father let my mother do that and it drove me to go no contact with both of them. Meanwhile he has chronically high blood pressure and struggles with emotional health because he keeps letting her emotionally torment him because "she can't help it".

I don't date people who can't manage their illnesses. I have enough on my plate managing my own, I don't need the worst of someone else's issues on top of it.

[Asker]

thank you for sharing that with me i’m so sorry you had to go through that, this response has made me think deeper so thank you

[MissBoogus]

You need to sit him down and talk. And you make him listen. Mental Illness is NEVER an excuse to abuse someone. He may be struggling, and you should discuss on strategies and future measures to help it. Such as him going for a walk when he has an outburst, or getting him a punching bag. I got one for myself and Those things are actually amazing for letting energy out. Let him know you will not stay if he abuses you, bipolar or not. It’s just how it has to be for you.

[Anonymous]

As someone who dealt with people like this in the past. I would say you need to leave him. It doesn't get better.

[AmeerX]

Bipolar is just an excuse. Tell him he is not ready for a relationship and will come back crying.

[LazerBean]

Dump the bipolar trash.

[butterly248]

You gotta speak to him asap

[Sasha0426]

Don’t take that shit. That’s not fair to you.