How does he really feel?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy met in January and instantly became friends. I was completely comfortable around him from the start and we ended up kissing. He backed out after that and said he wasn't ready for anything like that. Fast forward a few months, we're best friends and everyone around us thinks we're dating because we spend all our time together. Occasionally he starts flirting with me and then does a 180, apologising. He acts completely different with me compared to others, he recently started touching my hair and grabbing my hand so I don't "fall". He even suggested that we travel together in a years time. Now, he knows I've developed strong feelings for him and fell in love with him from the first time we met but I don't know what he wants. Could it be that he isn't ready for a relationship or is it just he doesn't want one with me?

[SueShe]

You realize that if you let your feelings interfere with friendship, you will kill this friendship. Guaranteed.

At your age, this kind of liking is more infatuation than real love. Also, it is no secret that those infatuations will not last a lifelong and that after a few months of being in a (hopefully) platonic relationship, it will break because the one wants something that the other is not willing to give. Consequence? Relationship ruined AND friendship ruined.

Now, it is up to you to decide what has more priority in your life. A long term friendship or a short lived relationship?

He seems to be satisfied with your friendship and is probably not (yet) interested in a relationship, mainly considering that you are a minor. I do hope for you that he is not an adult but also still a minor.

[Asker]

Just to clarify, we're both nearly 18, it's not a weird situation I promise 👍😭
Thanks for your advice

[SueShe]

Glad to hear that. I am always a little concerned when I see people under 18 asking such questions since I have witnessed 13 year old teenagers get in trouble. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there's some ambiguity in your relationship with this guy. His behavior is indeed mixed, which can be confusing. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and intentions. Ask him directly about what he wants and how he sees your relationship. He may have his own reasons for his behavior, and the best way to clarify the situation is through communication. Keep in mind that he may not be ready for a relationship, or he might have different feelings, but you won't know for sure until you talk to him.

[Avicenna]

It’s understandable that you really don’t know where you stand with him at this point, so you need to ask him to clarify. Directly ask him.

[AVirgoMan]

I think he thinks we are going fast, you should go a little slower and make him feel more confident.