Why would you cheat on a women you're in love with?

Question

Please don't judge me ok... please I'm not in the mood for that. Just please answer the question. My boyfriend of 11 years is to put it lightly a whore... just a straight up slut. He fucks around... I assumed he stopped. He hasn't and now has given me an std along with himself. I begged him and ask would he stop. He flat out told me no. Me being me I asked am I just not good enough... do I not give him what he needs? He claims I give him everything he could ever want (which I try to do. We have sex whenever he wants I do everything he ask of me). And he claims I perfect for him... but he still wants other women to sleep with and I don't understand why if what he said is true that he needs them... he just says it has nothing to do with me... that it's him... he just has to. Can someone explain what he could mean... because I feel broken... I love this person with all of my heart... and I can't stand the idea of knowing he'll keep on till he gets an std he can't cure. I just don't understand

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The answer is quite simple - he values variety more than he values monogamy. He doesn't equate having sex with others as a sign that he doesn't love you. But let's boil it down even more - this is a choice he's making and a justification to go along with it. He's trying to tell you "you're perfect, but no matter who I was with, I'd always want variety", and since he knows YOU don't approve of it, he's essentially saying "well, I can't help that you don't like it, I want it and I'm not going to stop".

If he was this way from the start and you KNEW this, you made a really dumb choice. You were sexually incompatible once you learned this about him, but you moved forward anyway assuming he'd stop? You assumed this because you loved him and thought you'd be enough, so now YOU feel broken because of it?

I'll catch shit for this, but neither of you are broken, you merely wanted different things and overlooked them because you were afraid of losing each other. Most people have this fear and it doesn't mean you're broken. I say he's not broken just because he's a slut - that's what he wants to be. He's FUCKED UP because he let his desire for sex give himself a lifelong disease AND he passed it on to YOU. I presume it's herpes? Obviously, that's totally fucked up.

What he did to you is horrendous. Even if you leave him, you'd have to disclose to any future partners that you have this STD and that will seriously cut down your dating pool. So rather than ask yourself "why" he did this, ask yourself "what am I going to do now"?

patrick994 · Accepted Answer

There is nothing wrong with you, you are the perfect girl a man could wish for, I am so sorry for what happened to you, I don't know the reasons why he cheated on you, it could be that he is too addicted to sex and cannot control his impulses, if despite your reminders he doesn't stop, you will draw your own conclusions.

nastyb · Accepted Answer

Red flags exist. if you ignore those red flags right from the start, they will come up to haunt you years down the road. He cheats on you because he does not respect you. He does not love you, hun. A man who truly loves you, will not cheat on you or hurt you like that

madhatters4 · Answer

no i wouldn't cheat on a person i'm in love with. if i want to have sex with someone else i'll end the relationship i'm in first then go have sex with someone else.

break up with your dude. you seem to have so many questions why he does what he does but the biggest question is one you should ask yourself.

why are you with someone who constantly cheats on your and puts your own sexual health at risk?

Tim2nice · Answer

Just so know, humans aren’t wired to monogamists. Christianity forced this notion upon us. People can and do love more than one person at a time. Your boyfriend is one of them. Just because he sleeps with other women doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

Gent207-2 · Answer

The rush of "forbidden fruit" becomes an addictive pursuit though nothing makes it right. I hope you leave him or else you'll be repeating the same cycle of betrayal over and over again

Joshydavid25 · Answer

He's not in love with you.. He's attracted to you, and he cares for you.. But he's putting himself and his needs and desires first.. You're just the safety net he can come home to.. And it's also the fact that you are allowing it.. He knows he has you wrapped around his finger and isn't afraid to lose you. You seem to have the "I can change him" syndrome.. You're too attached to the moments you guys had and are probably sentimental..

normalice · Answer

Sex and love have nothing to do with each other to men. It's "nice" when they come from the same person but it is the something we seek out.

DJB72 · Answer

He means he's a lying piece of 💩 and even though you deserve better he thinks you'll never leave because you don't think you'd find better.

He doesn't love you. You can't do that to anyone who you love.

Anonymous · Answer

You wouldn't duh! Either you love her and you're not cheating on her. Or you are cheating on her and just telling her you love her. And judging by this question this woman being cheated on is not smart enough to tell the difference. It's easy to cheat on women and get away with it because women WANT to believe you love her. So it really doesn't take much to convince a woman once you have her hooked.

Probably not the answer you want to hear. But it's the truthful one.

exitseven · Answer

You need to find a new boyfriend. He will never change. I know you have a lot of time invested in the relationship but it will not make you happy. There are a lot of guys that would like to be in a relationship with someone like you.

nayans · Answer

Just leave him and find another guy. Am sure there are many good guys around. I m saying this because he well and truly doesn’t deserve you.

HighValue · Answer

People that have a past of casual sex will be a bad choice as a partner for a good moral person. Never be in a relationship with someone that has had casual sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Yea i hv… but it was out of desperation for sex… she told me she didn’t want to have it untill we get married and i never forced her as well…. But there were times I couldn’t resist doing it with other girls…. I know i’d be judged to say this but I truly lived her…. Only I couldn’t just control my desperation for physical pleasure

AviatorTom · Answer

He is addicted to sex, and addictions are very hard to get rid of. See if he is willing to get psychiatric help, with you supporting him.

glennos89 · Answer

I wouldn't cheat on a woman I love. It's a recipe for disaster sooner or later

PhxBB13 · Answer

He 100 does not love you big mistake that is not love. You love him and he lusts you

balyai · Answer

He is taking you for granted and doesn't care about your feelings. I know how being cheated on feels

Philyouup · Answer

he doesn’t respect you. he might love you, but has zero respect. dump his ass and find a real man

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"What's a player to do when his favorite flavor is new"!

Guido · Answer

You need to have more self respect for yourself and get rid of him.

Anonymous · Answer

You're dumb if you don't understand he literally bored from you...

Anonymous · Answer

Best to leave he already gave you an std why stick around for another

Why would you cheat on a women you're in love with?

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