Is he being so rude because he’s interested in me?

[Anonymous]

My coworker likes to joke a lot and he’s about 10 years older than me. Today we were talking about personalities with my two other girlfriends from work and he said I was sweet. And he said there’s different kinds of nice people where it means you’re nice but not that attractive and then other kinds and then I asked which one I was and he said I was bubbly and had a really nice personality and emphasized that I had a nice personality. Then he said I’m really the first one. I visibly got offended and said “did you mean the unattractive one? I’m not ugly, I’m pretty” and he laughed and my coworkers got silent and awkward and one said “you are” but it was awkward. They stayed quiet and were eventually like “he’s just messing with you. You’re reaction is funny, that’s why”. He clarified eventually and was like “you’re bubbly and have a nice personality”. but then after some awkwardness he said I was actually very attractive and said it seriously and walked away. It did sound believable when he called me attractive. I know I’m not ugly because a lot of people have called me pretty or beautiful without question and I don’t think I am but why did he bring up my looks? Lol. I asked my two friend coworkers and one of them said he was obsessed with me and only does that for me and they both said he’s obsessed with doing it because he likes to get a reaction out of me. Why did he say this though? Lol. Was he just using an excuse to call me attractive?

[Oliverlogan263]

It's possible he was being playfully rude because he's interested in you, but it's hard to say for sure. Some thoughts:

- Guys that age sometimes tease girls they like as a way to get attention and gauge your reaction. Calling you "unattractive" could have been a dumb way to banter.

- But it also could have just been stupid guy joking around without thinking how it would make you feel. Not cool of him.

- The fact that your coworkers said he only does it to get a reaction from you and is "obsessed" with teasing you specifically could indicate he does like you.

- His clarification and calling you attractive after might have been his attempt to backpedal and cover up his initial insult.

- It's good that you stood up for yourself when you got offended. Shows you won't put up with disrespect.

Overall it's confusing behavior. If he does it again I'd be direct and tell him upfront his "jokes" aren't funny. And keep an eye on how he treats other people vs just you. Could give clues on his intentions. Don't overthink it but also don't take any disrespect!

[Asker]

Do you think he really meant when he said I was very attractive? He sounded serious whereas when he made the initial joke he sounded like he was joking.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I think when he got serious and looked you in the eye saying you were very attractive, he meant that for real.

Guys don't usually throw around compliments lightly, especially something so direct about a girl being attractive. We tend to hold that stuff in.

I'd say the teasing at first was just his way of flirting and trying to be funny to get your attention. But backtracking to assure you seriously that you're attractive too, that was him opening up more honestly.

The fact he emphasized it and then walked away right after, probably meant he wanted to get it off his chest but was also feeling a bit awkward or vulnerable after admitting it. We don't always know how to express our feelings well!

I'd take him at his word on that one. He wouldn't have sounded so genuine if he didn't mean it. Plus your coworkers seem to think he's into you, right?

I say don't overthink it - sounds like he's really falling for you! You'll have to start dishing it back at him now when he tries to joke around. Let him know you think he's cute too ;)

[spartan55]

You already posted this once. Talk to him if you are intersted.

[ThrillSeeker01]

I think he's definitely interested in you and is attracted to you. He likes seeing you react because you are probably beautiful to him.