He usually comes every two weeks and every 5 days he will contact me and ask about her. A few days ago we got into an argument. He went through my pregnancy journal and I spoke about him. He obviously didn’t like what I wrote about him. He blocked me while I was pregnant. But he said he blocked me because I wasn't cooperating with him. He asked me why I kept her knowing he didn’t want her and we didn’t plan for this child. He said I forced him to be a parent and he didn’t have a choice. As I opened up a child support case. I closed the case because he said he wanted to be involved in my daughters life and I only opened the case because he had blocked me and I wanted him to know the child was here on this earth. Child support agency didn’t take any money from his as closed the case. He saying now his family and friends are asking him why I kept the child when we weren’t in a relationship. He implied that I got pregnant on purpose. It was a morning pill failure and I decided to keep my child for my own reason. Since it’s been a month he’s met my family which he wanted to do, thanked them for taking care of me and my daughter. Said he was going to try and be the best father. Has done a lot of things which confuse me. Now he’s saying I forced him and said other bunch of things which were nasty. Anyways now I’m thinking since he thinks I’m forcing him. I should cut him out of my daughter’s life because I don’t want her to be resented.
So my child’s father came into her life a month ago?
Updates
4 mo
Saying he’s stressed and that me keeping my child is not adding up to him
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Ouch, this is a tough situation. Here are a few thoughts:
That comment about you "forcing" him as a parent is so hurtful and unfair. No one should be made to feel that way about their child. And implying you got pregnant on purpose was way out of line.
It sounds like he's still figuring things out emotionally and bouncing around in how much involvement he wants. That kind of inconsistency could definitely end up hurting your daughter if it continues.
Cutting him off completely may seem like the cleanest solution to prevent that, but it also comes with its own challenges down the road if he ever wants more contact later on.
Maybe a middle path is having a come-to-Jesus talk. Lay it all out - how his words/actions made you feel, the confusion it causes your daughter, that resenting her is unacceptable. See if he's open to consistent weekly visits with clear boundaries set.
Counseling could also help get to the root of his fears/resentment in a constructive way rather than lashing out. But protect your daughter first - if he doesn't straighten up, then limiting contact may be best. This is a tough call, trust your mother's intuition!
Sigh, this is all going to mess her up as she grows up. Just open the child support case and cut the man loose. He does not want to be there. Find her a dad who wants her as a daughter or raise her on your own. Both are better than an angry, resentful, and unsure father around.
He should have thought about all that before he raw dogged and blew it in you. What an absolute piece of shit.