Why does this guy dress up for her but Not for me?

[Anonymous]

I used to have a stranger crush on a guy from college and the feeling was Mutual (according to his friends) but we never talked and he seemed very reserved around me and never made any moves.

Now years later he met another girl in college he works with in a group and he was very flirty and confident around her from the very beginning, he acts very touchy feely with her, leans in, acts cutesy and started dressing better.

Why did he never try to impress me or talk to me like that If he was crushing on me too? Does he find her more attractive? Or is it because he has established rapport with her but not with me? Or because she is more outgoing and talkative?

He finds her prettier

He has rapport with her

She gives him signals that she likes him

Other

[WindAtMyBack]

"Now years later..."

That is the most likely answer. People change, sometimes they change a lot at that age. It sounds like he might have been shy in college. Guys naturally gain more confidence as they get older. They may also be more likely to dress nicer.

There is no way to know for sure. But several years can really make a difference.

[Asker]

Yeah But one year before he met her he didn’t make an effort to dress nicely. It just started a few weeks after he met her

[WindAtMyBack]

That doesn't really matter. He is different now. He probably wants to dress nice for her. He's older. He's a different person now. It doesn't reflect on you in any way because that was years ago.

Most guys are very awkward with women when they are young. Most grow past that as they get older. It's a completely natural and normal thing to happen.

[Staximus]

The guy is not a mind reader. If you don't act like you're interested in talking to him, getting to know him or spending time together, how is he supposed to know? How can you have a crush on a guy you don't even know and haven't talked to? You don't have a crush, you just find him attractive.

[Asker]

Yes you can have crushes on strangers if you are crazy

[spartan55]

'Years later'... wtf why do you even care? You don't know if he ever liked you to begin with. And how do you know so many intimate details about how he interacts with this woman? None of this makes sense.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

He has an interest in impressing her but not you.

[Asker]

Yeah obv but why?

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

self explanatory, He finds her attractive and has an interest in her as a romantic partner. You do not rank that high on his list of interest. It could be her attractiveness or maybe he prefers her personality or sexuality, only he can give you a direct answer but ultimately.

He came out of his shell and is now confident enough to approach someone he is attracted to. At the time you had a crush either you misread the situation or you gave off vibes he didn't like and mad him unsure if you liked him. Maybe you gave him mixed messages.