I’m in my mid-20s a man who looks like he’s in his late 30s (a cashier) stares and smiles intently all the time when in the store. what does it mean?

[Anonymous]

I’m an Indian living in a different country. I visit the Indian grocery store at least once a week, I shop alone or with my roommate. It’s been a couple of months since I noticed this. This cashier keeps looking and smiling at me. He doesn’t know English, and I only know a little of the language he speaks (Hindi, mixed with some other language). It started with staring and smiling and then with a Hello and then with How are you?
I’m a very shy socially awkward person, my brain automatically tells me to smile all the time. So, whenever he speaks, I nod or smile. If I catch him looking at me, I smile and turn away. So, with my shy awkward behavior, I probably gave him the wrong signal. I’m not interested in this guy, I don’t know how else to react, half the time he speaks I don’t understand much. For any Indians reading this, he speaks clearly in Hindi while asking a question and after my reply he talks in a different language mixed with Hindi.. kinda sounds like Punjabi (I don’t know). I don’t know if he talk like that so that I don’t understand what he says. It’s just weird. Sadly the store doesn’t have a self checkout, he’s the only cashier most of the time. If he’s not at the counter, I find him lurking around me somewhere, sometimes he approaches and asks a question and leaves. I shop in the evening mostly when it isn’t busy so when I get back to my car after shopping, I see him standing outside the store looking at me.
Here is the catch, he doesn’t make it obvious when I’m shopping with someone! I don’t know how to handle this situation 😐 I don’t know how to be rude, he didn’t do anything bad but making the whole situation weird/uncomfortable. I don’t want to engage in any conversations with him, how do I let him know that I’m not interested? I avoided going to the store for a month and I went shopping with my roommate after that. Still, it didn’t seem to help. I went alone yesterday and boy he was just staring at me and followed me out after checkout.

[Saiesh30]

That's terrible in my opinion. I don't think you gave him any wrong signal primarily because he was already into you. I wish these guys stop behaving like creeps just cause they're fond of a girl.
His behaviour is such cause he's an Indian as well and definitely recognised you to be one.
My honest opinion would be to try and avoid going to the store. I mean why not just go to some other store? Hope there's not an issue in it.
Secondly if you can muster up the courage, talk direct and straight to him as if there's anything you can do to help him? If not, then he shouldn't make it uncomfortable for you. I'd suggest doing that when you're with your roommate rather than yourself.

[Asker]

It’s the only Indian store in our neighborhood that has things we need. I feel bad for myself to not be able to go to a store because of a man 😕 I mean, grocery shopping is one of the very few things I do that gets me out of the house.

[Saiesh30]

I get it. You shouldn't stop going out coz of some dude. Then just confront him next time he does something like that. It'd clear a lot of things and maybe he'll stop.

[Asker]

Thanks for the suggestion, confronting and dealing with it peacefully seems better. I don’t want to make it uncomfortable for my friend to shop there as well. If I don’t talk things out I think it won’t get any better. I never thought smiling back/talking nice would end up like this (he probably was thinking I was doing all of this because I like him)! He had asked me if I’m married, without thinking I said ‘no’, probably shouldn’t have said that. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not my fault for smiling back and being nice, it’s just few people that get the wrong cue. For someone who isn’t attention grabbing, it’s just hard to process and figure out what to do.

[Saiesh30]

Yeah don't feel guilty. What you did was like an instinctive reaction. Just like someone else would react but it's not your fault if the other person has some other thoughts towards you. Just be confident. It'll even out for sure.
Do tell what happened.

[BikingTrail]

whatever you do, dont go to the store alone in the evening. maybe go with a guy friend so he'll think you have a boyfriend

[jennifer_bloom]

I know two guys who wanted to scare me off so they talked about their girlfriends around me. One guy actually had a girlfriend and the other was lying because he wanted a girl who earned more money than me. I did not show interest in the guy that actually had a girlfriend, I legitimately thought he liked me and was single because he went out of his way to talk to me and always sat next to me. I later learned he was faking friendship because he thought I could help him get higher grades in school.

[Zestyassmf1997]

He’s probably trying to just not look mean.

[Iron_Man]

he likes you