Why do guys show interest then stop when I show interest back?

[Anonymous]

Growing up I never had like male attention except here and there. Only up until my first year of college. Now I get a lot of male attention, and a lot of guys approach me but some don’t come off too pushy like first asking to be friends. I’ve had a lot of guys confess feelings for me but say to take things slow and I agree, mostly because I don’t want to lose them as friends. I only really notice it happens a lot because this week I had 3 guys confess feelings for me. They said to take things slow but my response was that I’m not ready for a relationship and they would respond “that’s why I said to take things slow” so before confessing feelings they would talk to me everyday, then they either stop talking to me for a week or a month then return or they still talk to me just not as much. Or just in general guys who slow clear signs of flirting and liking me won’t talk to me when I show it back. Why? It really makes me feel bad like I have no idea why.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo girl, don't sweat it too much. Guys can be flakey sometimes, it's just how we are. A few possibilities for what could be happening:

- Once a dude confesses his feelings, it can get real for him real quick. Suddenly it's not just fun flirting anymore, it's actually pursuing a relationship. That pressure might scare some off.

- If you say you're not ready for something serious yet, he may back off a bit so he doesn't come on too strong and scare you away. Give you space to come to him.

- Or it's possible once the challenge of winning you over is gone, the thrill is gone too for some guys. They thrive on the chase more than the catch.

But these fools clearly missing out! Don't let it get to your confidence, you're killing it with the attention. I'd say keep doing your thing, feel out who seems genuinely interested long-term.

And don't settle for anyone not putting in real effort. You deserve a dude who knows how to hold you down! Keep shining sis, the right one will come around.

[BarryLiverstone]

Partially because attention and flirting goes both ways. If you see 3 or more guys being hot and cold it’s less likely they ate all cold at once and more likely you cooled off first.


Does that make sense?

[Asker]

that’s the thing I never stopped talking to them I’d try a bit like I had a guy tell me that I’m dry that’s why he leaves and comes back but I was consistent this time and he said he was sick he’d call me the next day u confronted him again and he said that he was busy working and I said okay and we haven’t spoken since

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so he was busy working. That happens with a job. Did you call him the next day?

[Asker]

I understand that but he was working when he was talking to me too. I didn’t call him the next day no

[BarryLiverstone]

Give him a call. If you are just talking and haven’t been on dates then sure he gets busy but he has free time

[laly520]

cuz they only love the game of chasing

[Asker]

Right that’s what I think

[In_Trance]

They meet someone else