Interested then backs off?

[lala_rose]

Hi everyone,

Without being conceited, people tell me I am a beautiful girl and guys often approach me. The thing is,every time something starts with a guy( like were texting, hanging out and the guy texts me often, he seems interested) after a certain time, it seems like he stops texting or backs off tremendously. I don't know why.. I know I am the kind of person that initiates a conversation very rarely but when we would talk I would show interest.

Does it happen to you?

Thanks xox

[PHILR]

some guys may think that because you don't start something by iniation that your just being nice and maybe only see them as (just friends) also it be intimidating if your as pretty as you say you are to some guys (depending on their personalities) also many guys compare themselves to the other guys that hang out (or you may have dated at some time) and may think they would come up short (again depending on their personalities).

without realizing it (subconsciencly) even though you say you show interest if they call or text or you hang out you may be giving off body language that says your closed off (this could be because of your mild shyness(quote:I am the kind of person that initiates a conversation very rarely) if your not intiating it seems to the guy your not really into them other than friendship.which might explain some why they back off a lot as you say.

if there is one guy out there that you really taken a interest in out of all these guys that's approached you recently , then your going to have to open up and show him that your interested in him for more than just a friend. ?(just about 90% of the guys out there are clueless and dazed

about girls anyways and just don't understand how girls operate /// except for the players and jerks /// ) by that that means break the not iniating thing and start talking/txting/calling and if worse case sencario ask him out(ya, girls are allowed nowadays.

by your own admission something is happening and the common denominator is how you respond to guys in general. so change how you respond and see if it makes a difference.

i could almost say without a doudt it will.

hope some of this helps

[islands7]

Yes it happens

My first guesses:

They don't know what to say to someone talking on a higher IQ level or don't "get it"

Your attention wanders when they are yadayada about boring stuff

They need more "puppy dog" greetings from you, e.g. smile & enthusiasm + complements

Suck an Altoids

Ask for advice & never give any until begged

Go with THEIR flow and see where it leads - patience, patience

Meet people at your happy spots (for a change?), would this be dancing, sports, books, what? Bars, schools & churches ARE social but ...

[Twincapersred]

I was recently with a guy for like a week- he was great fun, a good date, caring, then just as we started to really get past feeling like we need to make small talk and the nerves were disappearing- just as we started to actually get to know eachother- he stops texting, cancels a date, and asked to do it a different night then never gets back to me to tell me what night...

Some guys are great in that period of getting to know someone- great with small chat and making you feel special- but they may not be good past the superficial- the guy I was with can't seem to make deep connections anymore(he's been hurt a lot)

But basically you just have to keep trying and obviously guys want you

[Anonymous]

i have this same problem, a guy I dated told me it was because he didn't feel like I cared. at first I was like wtf but then I realized I have my faults too and it wasn't all him. I struggle with kinda sitting back and letting the guy do everything without being sweet in return. I was an only child and I'm used to a lot of attention and praise so even tho I don't mean to, I have to make more of an effort to be sweeter and nice to the guy. do you flirt with him? do you do little nice things for him? do you make him feel sexy. I never really knew how to do that because I never learned but yeah if you don't guys don't feel like you like them and they look for someone who does..

[azwethinkweiz82]

yeah it happened to me, it hurts to know...but then I won't force myself if he won't talk.

[DonMichelle]

Then I'm sure that's your problem... lads LOVE A CHALLENGE! Girls are 'prey to be chased' so to speak, you showing interest kills the chase! You need to tease abit more 'forget to text' ;) hahaha, this is what frustrates a lad and keeps him keen. Don't over do it though, if you're interested you need to let him catch you at some point ;)

Good luck

[lala_rose]

Well that's what I do! When I say that I show interest , I'm not showing too much! I'm being pretty hard to get and he is always the one texting me first..

[GoodMemory32]

It's a fun trick. A style of either playing hard to get or flirting with a capital "F". This happens to people that are exceptionally pretty, but bear in mind that men like to have sex with pretty girls as well as date and stare at their beauty. It happens to me on occasion, but always remember that some things are deal-breakers. Do you have some deal-breakers in you? Good luck with you dating stuff. B

[mikeb79]

Sometimes reciprocation can be a good thing. So, if the guy notices that he is initiating most of the contact, he might assume that he is being tolerated. He might think that his initiations of contact are intrusive.

Reciprocation feels good. So, if he initiates contact, then I think it makes sense that you also initiate contact, if you are interested.

:)

[blayvid1981]

guys are intimidated by a beautiful strong independent woman. basically most men are afraid of commitment or rejection. I have always had a hard time approaching a woman and am horrible with the signs, even knowing if a woman is interested so you are not alone. this stuff happens alot, but I also get rejected alot! wish just one more time I could get lucky and find someone who wants me more than a friend

[Anonymous]

7 months, no best answer?