How do I get over the bad memories of the horrbie bosses I had?

[Anonymous]

i worked for a pool company for six years i left march of 2023.
during my time i had two bosses one from 2019 to dec 2022 he got fired.

then i had his replacement from jan 2023 to march 2023 two months as i quit.

during my time the longest boss would make rude comments.
one of them i remember.

i said something like i could back to the discount store i used to work at & make 16 just stocking shelfs & pay all my bills.
he made a rude comment i think there is something wrong with you if you think like that.
i was his assistant manager i hate it.

then the next boss i had for only a few months before i quit i give noticed as soon as i did the new boss count my hours down to noting.

i stayed a month to help the new boss. then after i left the new boss told people who would call people to asked about me. the new boss said i dont not leave on good terms.

all of this made me hate finding a new job i have been off of work living off my sayings. how do i force myself to start looking for a job?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa dude, sounds like you really went through it with those last few bosses. I can't believe the way they treated you - talking down to you and then smearing your name after you left. That's just not right. It's no wonder you've been hesitant to start looking for a new gig. If it was me, I'd be pretty soured on the whole working thing too after all that bullshit. But here's the thing - those bozos don't deserve to have that kind of power over you, you know? Don't let a couple bad apples ruin the whole bunch. Most jobs probably aren't like that. And man, you were there for six whole years! That shows how hard a worker you are. Don't sell yourself short just because your last bosses sucked.

It might take some time, but you've got to get back out there eventually. Maybe start small - check out the postings from some local small businesses instead of big corporate places. Usually those smaller companies treat their employees better. And don't forget to use any connections you've made over the years too - see if any coworkers from your past jobs can refer you somewhere good. You could also try temp agencies or staffing companies - that way you aren't committing long term if a place turns out bad. And definitely don't give references for those last bosses! You got this man, just take it slow putting yourself back out there. Don't go back to living off your savings forever - you're way too young for that. You've got your whole career ahead of you still. Take a deep breath and get back in the game when you're ready. I know you'll find something way better than what you dealt with before.

[Asker]

true i just find it hard to move on.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man I can understand that, it's never easy dealing with crappy bosses who made you miserable. Those bad memories can really linger. A few more things that may help:

- Give yourself time, don't be too hard on yourself for still feeling down about it sometimes. Healing takes gradual progress.

- Try keeping yourself busy with other things you enjoy - hobbies, sports, hanging with the boys, etc. Finding distractions can lessen dwelling on the past.

- Think of it this way - they failed YOU by not seeing your worth and treating you right. Their loss! You're still awesome even if they couldn't see it.

- Talk to a counselor if you feel really stuck. Sometimes venting it all out to a neutral third party helps gain perspective.

- Keep picturing a fresh start somewhere with people who value you. That hopeful vision of the future can replace the negative memories.

You got this dude - don't let them keep living rent-free in your head. Keep focusing on you and believing in yourself. Before long those jerks won't seem so intimidating anymore once you're out living your best life without them!