How do you know a guy is playing games … why would he look for a reaction from me?

[Finfin1981]

Why would a guy play games with communication to get a reaction …

i called out someone’s behaviour by saying I was upset about something and before I had a chance to say what it was he had preempted what I was going to say and apologised first saying he had been busy.. is this game playing?

[bobalife]

If he’s too busy to reply, then let him be and you do you girl and/or go talk to someone else who’s willingly to give you more. Give your time and effort to someone who’s willingly to do the same. He’s not your boyfriend/exclusive right? Don’t commit your time and attention to someone who hasn’t earned it nor give you effort. Give yourself that attention and time; and someone else who’s showing more attention😌

[bobalife]

And sure if he can show action to what he say, let him show you.

[Jennuine]

They become way too cheerful watching your heart break, esp when you never brought it on yourself... Screw them over first and then see how it feels when they mess up around you... Completely different ballgame...

[Flatmanlewis]

I think your description may be missing some component that you saw. Tone of voice, body language, and the rest matter. To me that sounds like he knew he was out of line on something and immediately accepted responsibility. I don’t interpret that as playing games, but something he said or did seems to have transmitted that to you.

[Finfin1981]

It’s long distance so.. hard to see tone etc he wanted to speak on the phone to explain but I couldn’t as everyone was asleep so we spoke via text and arranged to talk on Sunday to discuss in more DetailX it felt like he was making excuses before I even called him oh fully on the behaviour … I just said initially that maybe coming to see him wasn’t a good idea as was there a problem?

[Flatmanlewis]

Then I’d have to say what a person “says” matters more since the “reaction” is nearly impossible to gauge over long distance. Sometimes people are just overloaded or trip on their words. My suggestion: default back to some good communication abilities and just let the words speak for themselves. Follow your gut and heart.

[HawkPerception]

If a guy is only looking to play games, he's just looking to get laid and always moves conversation in that direction. If he's highly intelligent, it's much harder to detect.

[Finfin1981]

Yes that’s the problem this guy is intelligent and there is a connection there with his son too so that’s a hard une to break off.. it’s all feeling very high steaks

[HawkPerception]

It's hard to read the intentions of people sometimes. You need a good sense of intuition.

[Finfin1981]

Yeah I try to listen to intutiin - the minute in here asking the questions my intuition is telling me there is a problem ! But I’m stuck as he’s bringing his son for a weekend in May so won’t ever do the wrong thing there …

[spartan55]

I have read this several times, left it, went away, came back, read it again, and still have no idea where you are getting 'games' from? Because he said he had been busy? Uh... need more info, detail, etc because I don't see that as a game.

[Finfin1981]

Hi thanks for replying. What I mean is that before I had had. Chance to say that I don’t like messages being ignored particularly when he’s initiated the messages.. he’s already said ‘oh I’ve been really busy’ almost waiting for me to have been a bit put out.. hope thst makes more sense?

[ProbablyClueless]

Personal entertainment... sometimes people are just clueless self absorbed assholes.

[Anonymous]

Same way you tell if a woman is playing games.

[Finfin1981]

Expand …

[NathanDavis]

how old is he?

[Finfin1981]

He’s 48

[NathanDavis]

was he right though... were you upset by what he said?

[Finfin1981]

I was upset that he initiated a text conversation then ignored my response.. why initiate then ignore especially as I’m going to see him so felt a bit stuck

[NathanDavis]

was he right though?

[Finfin1981]

Effectively he’s sending photos of himself having fun with this mates to me saying ‘look how much fun I’m having … ‘ I’m having the best weekend what are you up to?
I reply saying great looks fun I’m doing this … ask him a question then he just ignores me for 2 days ….
So I fired a text saying ‘hi obviously if it’s awkward and no
Longer works for me to come on the weekend it’s fine I’ll see you at …. (A mutual friends party)
Then he was argh can I call you to which I said no not tonight
He said he had been really busy with his mates but it was no excuse and thanks for my honesty and we arranged to speak Friday

[Finfin1981]

Yes he was