Don’t deserve dates because I can have someone else?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had men tell me that I dont be taken on dates or shown affection because I can get anybody I want. One particular guy stood out to me. He told me that he doesn’t have to take me out because I’m young and pretty and other men who have money will do all the things he didn’t do because he knows I’m going to pick someone else. He kept pushing me towards men with money when I was fine how I was. Kept advertising men giving me money and I’m going to leave for it. He also said that he didn’t want to take me out because I refused to drop out of college, have a baby, and stop seeing my family. He also said that it’s not fair that he is expected to take me out on dates while other men still look at me. I was punished for people looking at me. I was supposed to walk with my head down so people won't notice me. He also didn’t want me to notice anyone else. He wanted me to walk around unkept in funky baggy clothes to show that I trying to purposely avoid attention so no one looks. He said that good respectable women hide themselves and stop doing their hair, nails, makeup etc. when in a relationship to be humble and show respect for their man because god said looking good is for hoes. He said a woman should only look good if she’s bringing back money to him from prostitution.

[firenine909]

He’s a terrible human being. to go through the bucket list he’s,



- insecure he can’t impress you because he thinks you’re a gold digger and he has no money for that
- aren’t willing to likely be a baby making machine who has 10 babies, is uneducated and will also abandon your family to do so
- basically called a whore for being sexually appealing
- forced to wear unattractive clothes so you don’t make men in public hard


I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d make you wear a hijab next. It’s possible he could use this to try to control you, your life and behavior but this man is a major red flag and I’d suggest telling him to stop being delusional or break up with him

[firenine909]

Very possessive. I hate whores but they’re good if I get all their money. Scratch that, leave immediately

[Asker]

Wow. I don’t understand because I never asked for money. I paid for everything myself or asked my parents. I put no responsibility on him. I never asked him to buy anything or discussed a luxury life with him. He just pulled that out of thin air.

[firenine909]

He thinks because you’re sexy you’re going to throw your body at men for their money. He could be highly sexist and possessive himself and think you need to either be a housewife or your a prostitute

[Asker]

It’s hard out here. He shouldn’t have been dating then. Or at least with me if he felt that way.

[firenine909]

He believes what he’s doing is fine. I’m not sure, how do you feel about all of this? He definitely has some negative opinions about women and you and wants you to behave exactly like how he wants you to

[Asker]

It felt like nightmare.

[firenine909]

I’d try to break up with him and to run away from him. It’s on going to get worse if you stay

[boggboss]

So what are u asking u dated shitty men that tried to manipulate you into doing what they wanted so...

[Asker]

You guys talk like I purposely choose this. If there was a sign on their heads I’d read it. They act cool at first then turn mean like this. You act like men don’t present a fake person at first. It’s always my fault and they get protected by people like you. I’m 24 and ever been asked on a date they all say I got it already or say you can get anyone you’re pretty. What’s the golden answer to choose the perfect guy then? It hurts that I’ve never been taken out by this age. Other girls get it so easy. Why guys always say I don’t need things just because they see me doing it myself?

[boggboss]

Who is protecting thise guys u stated u dated shitty men is that me protecting them I stated they manipulated you is that me protecting them the issue u have is u listen to what they say even after u know what they did was wrong u ask this question like I can give u what u want all I can do is point out why it happened and to not date assholes again if u date someone and thay start acting shitty end thing don't stay with them and allow them to abuse u

[boggboss]

Like what are u actually looking for by asking this question

[Asker]

It’s painful because all the women my age get stuff easily even though they act and brag about being rude to their dates and ordering a ridiculous amount of stuff. I’m an alright person that offers, provides a safe space, allows self expression, compromise, compassion, etc but can’t snag a date. I just didn’t think I’d be 24 and never shown effort before. I’m not a gold digger, I work I go to school I have no friends. I’m sensitive. I always show my part effort and listen to their needs. Why do they act like I’m so hard to do something with. They always push me a way to some hypothetical guy with money. It hurts. “You’re young and pretty you’ll get a woman with money one day” Even women tell me that.

[Asker]

I was trying to find out if that’s true why I don’t get taken out. That why I asked. You should take your tone down.

[boggboss]

Because u just happened to pick shitty men this is not how all men treat u its how the men u picked treat u

[boggboss]

We are typing to eachother their is no tone but the tone u are using to read what I write lol 🤣

[Asker]

If there was a foolproof way to choose the good guy I would. I don’t just purposely look for the worst thing out. I try to be understanding. I spend half my time at school and I live with my parents. I’m not super curvy or anything so it’s not like I can get some exceptional dating choices. Small boobs and I don’t do butt sex. I don’t want babies. So I take what I can get. I dont look at myself as better than anybody when dating and I want to be shown effort. You say it like I just purposely picked the bad one whilst knowing.

[boggboss]

I never said it like u chose to pick these men lol I said it because once u saw this men where shit u decided to accept how they want treating u instead of dropping them plenty of men don't want kids these days its not a new concept and anal is not a deal break for most men either all I'm doing is pointing out the issue was the men u dated not u or men as a whole

[Asker]

What I’m getting at is I’m not a model or anything. I’m no Miss America. I’m no Cardi B. I’m a regular girl from a poor family just doing the best I can. There’s nothing to make a big deal about. I’m regular and they should not feel like they need to withhold effort from me to feel good. They keep putting this man with money mantra in my head. I can’t get one of those if that’s the case I would’ve been offered already.

[boggboss]

Why do u keep putting stick in what they said when what they said was comments to make u accept how they treated u not because they was telling the truth but to make u accept their shitty behavior no normal person would believe what they said and think its a fact its not

[Asker]

The first one was 36 I was 18. It lasted 15 months. I got fed up.
The second one was 55 and I was 20. Lasted 10 months. Got fed up again.

The third one I only saw twice. He disappointed me both times. Haven’t spoke to him in a year.

[boggboss]

OK and all if them where retards

[Asker]

It’s not all put on you at once. It’s a slow reveal. By the time I realized it was too late. I don’t usually deal with people so when I started dating I didn’t understand stuff. Now I understand better.

[Asker]

All dudes say butt sex is not a dealbreaker till they realized you’re deadass. Now it’s a problem.

[boggboss]

My partner has a decent size ass and we don't do anal so not sure whatvu are talking about

[boggboss]

She dont have a massive one but it's not a issue and if u know better now avoid men like that going forward

[boggboss]

And stop believing in what they said

[Asker]

Not having enough ass also affected my relationships. They liked thick women. I only had 42 inches when I was small then 47 inches when I did weight gain regimen. They liked the 60 inch ones. Ssbbw.

Do you take her on dates? She doesn’t have to look down?

[Asker]

Oh yeah definitely. I stopped dating. Haven’t had problems since. 💪

[boggboss]

If we already established that the men in the past ubdated where dickheads why are u still commenting that u was the issue when it's complety them yes I take her out on dates we both plan stuff for eachother

[Asker]

See. She gets things easily. Never had to struggle.

[boggboss]

Why would she have to look down she is no my slave and yes men look at her because she is a good looking girl but it's nit somthing I can control or her and not her fault so it dont bother me

[boggboss]

No her ex relationship was also abusive so I'm not sure where her not struggling is someone from lol I just treat her with respect

[Asker]

Since you’re holding a space for me:
Why does every man I get act like he’s attracted to me just the way I am. Then exactly 3 months in they reveal that they have a big butt curvy fetish that I can’t match. It was in every relationship. They Moab and women in the street and call me small. They compare them to me. Why do they hide their fat ass Fetish and pick me if I don’t have the size ass they like?

[boggboss]

Because they can't get what they want and pick u then start acting bitter

[Asker]

I used to get punished anytime someone looked at me. If someone looked at me I was expected to report it to him. I had to keep track of all the people who looked at me (impossible) even women. His idea was that if as a woman people looking at you doesn’t scare you and make you try to hide, then that means you like attention and you’re a whore. A woman should try to do everything possible to make people not look. As since you don’t mind being looked at then you should be a prostitute.
Just quoting.

[Asker]

They were good looking guys, tall, women chased them, wasn’t small “there” other guys looked up to them. But they were still so bitter.

[Asker]

Oh I forgot. It was a trap because if I was able to recall the people who looked at me that means I looking to see if they were noticing me, which means I was checking for attention. Which means I’m a whore. He’ll set traps where to matter what reaction or outcome there’s punishment/anger/withholding.

[boggboss]

OK all your explning to me is what shitty men dod yo manipulate none of it was normal or what normal people wpuld say to a women

[Asker]

It always felt weird. That was my first relationship and I’m known for being sensitive and “own way” so I thought I was missing something. Plus there are women that act like that listening to everything and following. He also said that because he knows 50 cent and other famous people any smart women would let a man who says he is trust funded by rappers have his way because he could change her life. But something just didn’t feel right. I got out after having some sort of epiphany. It’s was sudden overnight almost.

[Asker]

But thanks though.

[boggboss]

Meh just another man enjoying manipulating women to do what he wants

[devilish-cutie]

Sounds like opinion of one man with issues

Your only issue is actually considering what he says relevant

[Asker]

3 different guys told me this same type of stuff.

[devilish-cutie]

i dubt all 3 said all these things, but then you choose wrong men

[Asker]

They all say it in different way. But all three used the you’re young and pretty you can have any guy you want. Every guy I get pushes me away to money. I don’t come around talking about money and gold digging so why? And what’s this wrong men thing? I didn’t just wake up and purposely choose wrong men. If I could choose a perfect one I would. I spend half my time at school and I live with my parents. I’m not super curvy or anything so it’s not like I can get some exceptional dating choices.

[devilish-cutie]

still, it can be opinon of 3 or 5 men, but why it matters and dont you have your own opinion?

[Asker]

It’s just weird there’s girls that get dates piling in but I've always had to wait longer and struggle for stuff like that. I can even pay. But when it comes to me they are super cautious and try to give me to some hypothetical rich dude. Why do they act like they can’t get me when I’m already with them? Men are always cautious and shy about giving g me hugs, holding hangs, or going out. They just make the you’re pretty excuse.

[devilish-cutie]

it's really all about these men.. they just told you about themselves and their insecurities, it mostly doesn't have much to do with you but their opinon about women that they are attracted to

[Anonymous]

We know female nature and know that a pretty female will always have more than one man on the go at a time. It isn‘t worth wasting our heart and time just to find out we are one of many or not the one they choose in the end.

[Asker]

That’s his own insecurity. If he feels that way he shouldn’t have been dating.

[Asker]

And men have more than one on the go too. It goes both ways. Both have to be willing and not insecure.

[Opinion Owner]

In MOST cases men do not have more than one on the go. Women have zero idea how different it is.

[Asker]

Define “on the go”

[Opinion Owner]

Getting sexual attention from multiple men who are trying to get your time. Guys that these women use for free shit, attention, sex, etc.

[Asker]

That’s going to happen regardless. If you choose an attractive woman men will always give her sexual attention or just attention in general. Its up to her to turn them down. If she doesn’t she’s a shitty person and should be single to mess around. If a man feels like a woman would pass him up for something better, take on another guy, would leave for money, or whatever doubt he’s having then he should just leave her alone. If you can’t trust her just stay away. Simple.
Men have other women willing to give them sexual attention too. Men cheat, women cheat. Hellloooo

[Opinion Owner]

Most men do NOT have other women giving them attention. Women have no idea.

[laly520]

a jerk