What does it mean when a guy says, "what are you looking for? The exception "?

[Candylassi]

Need to decode this! I’m in the middle of having a conversation by text and trying to convince a very shy guy to do a video call. He seems to be making a bunch of excuses why not to call. First he doesn't us this particular app and then he doesn't have time for video calls (possibly yes works 6 days a week).

Then in the midst of this, posts a status on the same app we're we talking on indirectly directed at me.( Hate when people do that)

I guess he is such a bad communicator that he cannot ask me directly and have to put it on his status instead.🤦🏻‍♀️ so then he wrote on the status “what are you looking for? The exception”

WTF lol so of course because I am direct right, I ask about the status. What does your status mean? And he doesn’t reply to the message so far. Lol dumb SO RIDICULOUS.

[Drew-1990]

This guy is just making excuses, I'm a very shy guy and I would be thrilled if a girl was trying to get me to video call. I would be nervous beyond belief but I would do it in a heartbeat. Honestly I really appreciate girls like you that actually try to talk to shy guys many ignore us like we don't exist. I'm not sure what he means either honestly. Maybe he assumes all guys are like him and that no person would want to do what your asking. That is my only guess

[Candylassi]

Yeah, absolutely, but he may have severe social anxiety for all I know. I thought he would react better like what you said, but that’s not the case. So I remember looking back in person, and he was actually like very intimidated by me, and almost had like a terrified look on his face. So I guess like there’s some fear attached to it that’s all I can think of. But the whole question of the status I have no clue what that means.

Yes, I think I actually prefer shy guy is despite all the challenges, then some extrovert running around flirting with everybody.

[Drew-1990]

Well again as a shy guy he is still acting weird, I understand that fear honestly but if a girl is putting in effort he should be welcoming and trying to get out his shell a little. It is definitely hard to get out of your shell but if you see someone trying to help you do that it should be easier honestly.
And come on why don't I ever find girls that like shy guys around me. I may be a challenge to open up but I know how to communicate once I do.

[Candylassi]

Well, here’s another factor. He went through a 10 year break up not too long ago and now he’s one of those non-trusting type of personality so that’s not really helpful either. Basically a tough nut to crack.

We cuddled one time and he genuinely freaked out. I was like this is too much too soon. 🤣 that’s what I knew. He was like seriously scarred.

[Candylassi]

He said that it was “excessive” (the cuddling part) then I knew he was really protected and guarded of himself

[Drew-1990]

Well honestly I still see a problem. Part of the reason I'm shy and scared to ask girls out is something's that happened to me with girls I liked so I understand trust issues. But I wouldn't be scared of cuddling and stuff, I be shocked and would probably blurt something stupid out from nerves but not push her away.

[Drew-1990]

Honestly I think he has some issues he needs to work out, he is extra shy too shy. And I don't mean that in a offensive way it's a problem he needs to work on. I believe that but I'm also very jealous of the him at the same time because he has you trying to help him and give a chance and my shyness on a lower level gets very little to no attention.

[Candylassi]

He said he had trust issues with his EX, so he must look at cuddling as getting “too close” emotionally. So yes he definitely has issues and can’t communicate directly either. I mean to ask me a question via a status update? That’s BAD.

Well let people come to you Naturally with time. I met this guy traveling and I don’t go looking for anything myself because most people don’t have social skills. lol Now he is one of those people.

[Candylassi]

His ex probably was flirting with other dudes etc some kind of breach in trust… he is afraid of getting close that is obvious…

[Drew-1990]

Well hopefully he opens up you but that maybe hard at this point honestly. I honestly think he has a lot more trust issues than most do. But maybe you will get through him.

And honestly I get what you are saying but I personally feel like I have social skills just I need to open up for people to see it.

[Candylassi]

You’re probably right! I’ll leave it to God to change him in all seriousness.

[spartan55]

Wow, is this guy your only option or something?