So it’s this coworkers bday today he is a married man he was showing that he had a surprise bday party yesterday and than later I wished him again?

[Anonymous]

I wished him happy bday bc he was passing by and than he was like any gifts or anything I do accept and now he wants me to surprise him with a bday gift he was like surprise meee ( but he is married) if I fall for it is it wrong I do see him as a good Coworker/friend bc we get along well but I don't know about this ….

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong w getting him a little something so long as he doesn’t take it in the wrong way. I know where I work we’re pretty close so we do get each others gifts, we usually go out together, all the June birthdays. Maybe for dinner or something, have a couple drinks. Nothing crazy. But if he’s a good co-worker I don’t see an issue w it.

[Asker]

Yea that’s understandable but when it only happens to be me that’s another story I guess

[Opinion Owner]

Why would it only be you?

[Asker]

Idkkkk

[Asker]

You think it’s weird?

[Opinion Owner]

No. If you two are on good terms, you interact at work. I don’t see anything wrong w it. You could make it awkward by the type of gift you got him that it would make your relationship questionable.

[Asker]

Right but it would make more sense if he got
Me something on my
Bday as well it’s coming up in few weeks but I doubt he will kinda like he only wants for himself

[Opinion Owner]

Does he know your birthday is coming up? If not then you tell him

[Asker]

He knows it

[Asker]

Either way why you think a married guy would ask me to give him a small gift type of thing? Like seriously

[Opinion Owner]

Because you said happy birthday. It could have been a joke. I know if someone said happy birthday to me I sometimes respond w where’s my gift lol I don’t mean it I’m just joking

[Asker]

Might have been a joke

[Opinion Owner]

Yes could have been. I don’t think there’s anything wrong w getting him a little gift

[Asker]

Well sir he came back asking if I’m still bringing him the croissant 🥐 so I don't know if it was a joke indeed and I hen I kinda wasn’t sure he was a little upset at me, I think it’s wrong for a married guy to ask me to bring him a treat like if it’s my bday I don’t ask for gifts and I doubt he will bring me something, he has done it before, for other occasions so my question really is why does he expect little favors from me as it seems like it, he don’t ask any other females at least I don’t know of and don’t think so you have an answer to that

[Opinion Owner]

So if he’s married but he’s your friend hypothetically speaking it’s still wrong? My birthday is on June can you get me something lol

[Anonymous]

Don’t think so much about it, you aren’t obligated to gift him anything and if you aren’t very comfortable since he’s married then just leave it at that. You’re way too concerned with his feelings vs your own and need to stop that. He’s married, let his wife handle that type of worrying about him.

[Asker]

Right would u be upset if that happened with you’re husband a female gifting

[Opinion Owner]

On a personal level I wouldn’t be upset because I’m secure in my relationship and with myself as a woman. But I know my mindset is a rarity when it comes to people and how they feel about their partner being gifted by the opposite sex. I think that unless it’s a long term female friend, being gifted by a coworker will always make a woman/man wonder if there’s an underlying message to that gift. I can’t think of a man gifting me just out of pure friendship, with zero interest on his end. For the guy in your case, if you were to gift him would it be purely platonic? Has he gifted you for your birthday?

[Asker]

He has sung for my bday but my bday is coming up so we will see if he do anything, you feel like he should gift me too? And I don't know maybe I shouldn’t do it bc he only be asking me to do favors for him so I don't know and this happens to be one of them I guess

[Opinion Owner]

I hope you don’t mind me asking but do you like him even just a bit? I’m not sure if you’d feel comfortable to answer that here but I feel like it’s safe enough since we’re here anonymously. I’m only asking because has a woman like that at his job who’s always doing favors for him, and I feel like women don’t really do that unless we like the guy. Also with the whole gifting thing, I was just curious what the expectation is, like if he previously got you a gift then it would make more sense for you to get him something. I’m guessing he hasn’t done so because of his wife which makes sense, but to me that would mean it’s inappropriate for him to accept gifts as well.

[Opinion Owner]

****my fiancé has a woman like that at his job

[Asker]

So for
Him it looks like
I LIKE him, but he initiated it so what’s that mean?

[Asker]

Like he brought it up