When a man says he’s not ready for a relationship because he’s not where he wants to be career wise… is that a lie?

[Anonymous]

What was the point of meeting just for him to say that… is that a low blow rejection?

[Louana]

From my own experience it was a lie, ( it has an experience ) but it can be both. Sometimes guys use the ''not being ready'' as an excuse just to avoid having any kind of commitements but would do anything to have you around them. The guy would send you the most mixed signals ever so you would emotionally or even physically give in. At the end when you'll ask them what are we, they would say ''why would you ask that'' or ''we're good like this''. Really be careful because I wouldn't wish anyone to go through it. I was stuck in a fucking situationship for over 5 months for the asshole to tell me ''I'm not ready to date'', but would literally take me on dates, plan night outs, make me feel special. It's really emotioanlly draining and it actually has an explanation. Talking stage is a fucking SCAM with guys like those. They are making you feel special, they are making sure you would get used to a certain type of behaviour so at the end it would be hard on you not to give in or invest emotionally. WHY? Because it's a win for them, knowing you have control over someone is so damn satisfying right? But if they were to commit they won't do that anymore. That's the whole point in my humble opinion.

[DishLady]

No. Guys tend to be conditioned to “be the man” which means rather a lot, including being able to take care of himself and provide for his family. (Yeah, even today when most women work.) Additionally, the truth is that if a person (male or female) is just starting out on their career path they really aren’t ready for a serious thing because work has to be a priority so they can establish a good professional reputation. (A lot of relationships break up at that point in a person’s professional life.)


When the time is right and your calm, open and ready to receive the grace of a loving and real relationship then it makes more sense to go look for your person.

[Anonymous]

It could be. It might not be. Some people, especially men in my opinion would rather be established to be able to take care of a girl. I think if I had waited to get into my first relationship till I was established, it might have worked out. Now that I’m older I think I should have be more stable, an actual place for us to live, finances taken care of, etc. Especially if you plan on getting married and having children.

[Asker]

But he’s a software developer and he’s never mentioned issues with his job… he said he liked it and it keeps him on his toes

[Opinion Owner]

So than maybe it’s an excuse. Maybe he’s trying to move up.

[Asker]

What do you mean move up?

I have a bachelors, I’m a teacher… that was insulting

[Opinion Owner]

lol just cause you have a bachelors doesn’t mean you’re smart. If you were you wouldn’t assume I was talking about you. I was talking about him moving up in his career. That would be a reason why he says he’s not where he wants to be in his career yet. Besides you having a bachelors really doesn’t mean much to men as far as what we look for in women. That’s usually not on the top of a man’s list. That’s what women look at. Men really don’t care about that in a woman. You have a bachelors though so you should know that since you’re so smart.

[Asker]

I think I was just projecting my insecurities because I feel like he wants a woman who makes him look good. He’s always flirting with women who are doctors and lawyers ect… his brother is married to a doctor…

[Opinion Owner]

I mean it’s always a possibility. I wasn’t looking at it in that way u til you pointed it out. Who’s knows. Are you still seeing him or things are completely done between the two of you?

[Asker]

Things are done between us

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. Then time to just move on

[RebelinSteel]

I would say yes, if you are concentrating on work and your career, then you don’t go looking for girls, it’s a fairly simple thing. With dating you do need to fit it in around your work and other commitments (some of those you may change). It sounds like he just rejected you for whatever reason but tried to flower it up, which makes it sound weird.

[Account]

Yes. When people are truly interested, they don't say stuff like that. Personally I would take that as a rejection, but that is just me.

[Finchie40]

Did he say that to you after the first time her met you in person? Did you meet him off the internet? If so , than it’s just an excuse , he probably wasn’t attracted to you and didn’t want to hurt your feelings or Mislead you the wrong cuz why would he ask you on a date if he was t interested in you in the first place?

[Asker]

Yeah he seemed to like me over text but we had a lot of miscommunication… but when we met up that’s when he said it

[Asker]

I figured he probably didn’t think I was pretty

[Asker]

After he ghosted me I kept texting him wondering if it were my face and I told him I would get work done.

It really hurt

[Finchie40]

That’s sad to hear, don’t ever change who you are as a person to appease anyone , Just because he didn’t like you it doesn’t mean another guy won’t like you , Everyone has their own preferences of what they are into and not into , so don’t beat yourself up over 1 guy , there are plenty of guys’ out there

[Louana]

AAAAH OMG I COULDN'T AVOID TEXTING. GIRL YOU'RE SO MORE THAN THAT !!! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY, DON'T LET HIM HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR FEELINGS. WALK AWAY, RUN AWAY FROM SUCH NEGATIVITY AND UNDESERVED SHIT HEADS. IGNORE HIS TEXTS, IGNOR HIS MESSAGES... HE'LL TEXT YOU BACK JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL AROUND HIM. DON'T ANSWER IF HE DOES OR GHOST HIM AS MUCH AS HE DID ! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL SO STAND UP PROUDLY ALRIGHT?

[Asker]

Thank you guys

He’s not the only guy who has done me like that… but I just thought he was different and he came correct

But I’m doing some adult content now and it’s been helping feel more confident

[Finchie40]

What kind of adult content lol

[Asker]

Thanks for your help

[Markymark92]

Just make content with men that are better than him if making content is what you like

[Finchie40]

LOL and make sure he watches it

[Asker]

Oh yeah and it wasn’t a “date” … but a meet up to get things cleared up

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If he’s not ready for a relationship, why he even setting up dates or chatting up females? Sounds like an excuse to me… I’m not where I want to be physically, emotionally, financially, but then I’m not flirting with men or talking to multiple men online/dating apps, etc. Some men these days don’t want to put in the effort of a relationship but want the benefits… stay clear of those guys

[Asker]

Yeah… I was confused and it lowkey hurt my feelings

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Don’t let it get to you. Just find someone more deserving of your time

[bobby_bush_eater]

It's a cop out. Did men say this in the great depression? Is money a prerequisite for love? Does money physically stop your feelings?

No, it's a cheap cop out for any actual meaningful connection and he likely was hoping for meaningless sex

[2log10x]

If he found someone he liked more than you, bet he'd be ready. It means he may like you, but he doesn't like you enough.

[Asker]

I agree… this has happened to me a good 4 times. I know the last guy I had a situationship with said he wasn’t ready for a relationship bc of work… I believed him and I was his emotional support bc he was a fireman. I truly “believed” he cared about me… how stupid was I

Ik the month we stopped talking he entered into a relationship and 4 months later he proposed to her and now they’re married.

So that hurt me a lot.. this hurt me even more for some reason

But I don’t believe in love.. I’ve been enjoying making adult content. I just like the attention and validation I get from men.

[ProbablyClueless]

Maybe not a lie, but it's definitely a cop-out. He's rejecting you, but you might not be the problem, if that makes any sense.

[Asker]

So. He likes trans porn anyway

[HateyouxD]

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's the truth. But ultimately he's rejecting your love offer

[Asker]

I mean I didn’t offer anything.. he asked me what I wanted…I told him to go first and that’s what he told me

[HateyouxD]

Maybe he just wants sex

[Asker]

Yeah and he lied to me… made me feel like he didn’t

[Booklover_90]

Not necessarily. Most people (men and women) want to focus on their career and/or reach a certain point in their career before getting into a relationship.

[DaveJord]

No not really. Women and dating are expense hobbies for men.

[laly520]

he isn't ready for a relationship or ready but not willing to date the girl he said that to

[Asker]

Fuck him he likes trans porn anyway

[Theworldislost]

If that's the case he might be bi and trying things... run!!

[BonzoInBitburg]

It's definitely rejection but not necessarily a lie.

[Shy_Steve]

Yes, I reckon it is.

He simply doesn't like you or he doesn't find you Attractive anymore.

[Asker]

After he ghosted me I kept texting him wondering if it were my face and I told him I would get work done.

It really hurt

[Peridot25]

@Asker Never EVER stoop down that low to please a guy. That’ll only cause you depression and other issues.

[Asker]

You don’t understand tbh

Cosmetic surgery is something I always wanted and I shouldn’t have met up with him until I got it done

I really wanted to be with him.

[Peridot25]

@Asker Do whatever you want

[Shy_Steve]

I agree with @Peridot25, Do whatever you want, But it's not worth wasting your time on someone who probably doesn't like you.

[Asker]

He ghosted me so … but he did give me closure weeks later… he said he didn’t want to invest if we weren’t going to eventually have sex. He said he has higher priorities to worry about and he said we can check in here and there…

I just kept asking what did I do… I just didn’t believe him because things were so different before our date…

Maybe he had a girlfriend already idk… still hurts.. I still feel incredibly less than

I still feel sad about it but I’ve been enjoying getting attention from other men online and elsewhere… I’m starting to like making adult content..

[Peridot25]

@Asker You’re a nutcase. That’s all I have to say.

[Asker]

@peridot25 … that was rude and uncalled for.

You look like one yourself

[Peridot25]

@Asker I can see why the guy doesn’t want a relationship with you. I wouldn’t either 🤷‍♀️

[Shy_Steve]

Your better off not wasting your time on him and seeing those other Guys.

[Anonymous]

When I say this I mean it. I am a grad student and I can't fulfil monetary expectation from women so I know it will not work out. Pretty soon they will want guys that can provide better as it happened before

[Pennywise_6]

He's just not into you.

[Asker]

I guess he just wasn’t attracted to me

[Pennywise_6]

He likes you, but not that much. Unfortunately.

[Asker]

He likes trans content so maybe she’s the one for him

[Pterodon]

It’s a rejection. Sorry

[JacobJordan]

Means exactly what he said

[DrPepper12]

No. Not at all and I respect that.

[KrakenAttackin]

He's not that into you.

[SoJust]

It's a lie

[Asker]

He’s not attracted to me?

[SoJust]

He doesn't like you

[Asker]

Even though you might not know can you give me some reasons why … what is it about me

[SoJust]

There is no reason about you, I don't think you will be the cause of events in life, I think everything in life happens as a result of an instant, so don't worry about cause and effect, live your life.

[Asker]

I just really wanted to be with him and I thought he wanted to love me

[SoJust]

Yes, I understand, but sometimes things don't go the way we want, don't worry, always think positive and always look at the glass half full in life and pray to God every day, you will meet someone who loves you.

[Asker]

I’m going to be a sex symbol and I’m going to be every man’s fantasy. Truly I am!

I’m NOT going to be ignored, rejected , disrespected or left for someone better.

It’s the arch in my back and the injections in my lips that will make me a star.

I guarantee you that no man will ever hurt me or make me feel less than

They hate Chelsea. Everyone hates Chelsea but everyone will love Carmen.

[SoJust]

This is the life you wanted to live, it was there before, you still want it

[Asker]

Huh?

[SoJust]

I am saying what you wrote above, this life was inside you, now you will live it, can I ask you something?

[Asker]

Sure go ahead

[SoJust]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYCnSvYhZVo&t=2020s

Can you watch the movie starting from scene 33:40 until the scene ends and tell us what you liked most about the scene?

[In_Trance]

Probably not

[noohair]

I believe him.