The handsome-shy-guy problem...=)

[blonde-angel]

I've met this guy like 7 years ago and I've had a crush on him from the first sight... he had always been very shy that's why I assumed that he didn't like me or simply wasn't interested back then...

we hadn't been in touch for years until I met him at a club a couple weeks ago... he kept up a longer conversation with me and we even danced for a bit. last weekend we met again (ocationally) and this time he kept stading next to me the whole night and hold my hand, we talked, danced and so on...

but that's about how far I get with him...even thought I flirted with him a lot, he didn't try to kiss me and never texts first... he texts back when I text him, but that's it... I'm kinda confused and don't really know how to approach him!

his friends also told me that he has never had a real girlfriend, even though I'm sure with his looks he could have any girl! so I don't know if he's waiting for "the perfect girl" to come around..?

what do you think I should do next? I really want to see him tomorrow night, but I don't know if should be offensive about it or wait for him to do the next move...?

(i'm sorry for my english by the way- it's not my native language...=)

Updates

+1 y

first of thank you all for your good advice!i texted him today, to figure out if he was gonna go to the same place I met him the last two weekends, but he only respondet that he'll stay home cause he is sick... do you think he's pulling back now?:(

[Blake26]

Well, so far you're going fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Considering how shy he is, it is really surprising that he went as far as he did that time you saw him at a club, even though it didn't go as far as you would've liked it to, I think overall he did make a small bit of progress. He probably doesn't have experience, and that's why he's going slow. You do have to realize that he would be going slow to begin with, it's probably just how he rolls, especially being shy.

I would say to just keep doing what you're doing, but maybe make your flirting a a little more obvious. Sometimes a guy won't pick up something, even when the girl thinks she is being blatantly obvious. So be as obvious as you can be. A little extra physical contact shouldn't hurt at all, that's probably the biggest hint that you can give him. Doing that should send the message clearer than any other hints that you might try. All I can say is to be patient, he'll come around. He just needs to know that you're interested, some contact should work fine. As shy as he is, he's probably on cloud nine still after that night at the club. Don't worry just let him know, good luck =)

[Blake26]

I doubt it, don't think that he is pulling back. Just give him some slack, it sounds genuine to me. He would want to be with you, so I don't think that is an excuse not for him to go. I think he'd love to go if he could. I wouldn't worry too much about these small things. =)

[blonde-angel]

Haha, alright, thanks anyways, we'll see how it goes that weekend...we made plans for snowboarding so that should be fun:)

[Vyxzuw]

Well, even though he may be handsome, the fact that he has never had a girlfriend would mean he doesn't have much dating experience. (If any.)

Since he's a guy, and handsome, that means he's expected to have experience. (For instance, even you assume that he should be able to get any girl...)

More than likely he invests a lot of emotion into any relationships he has. However he probably has been approached by people only interested in his physical appearance and thus may be guarded about his emotions.

I don't know if he's waiting for the 'perfect girl' but I bet he's waiting for a girl who is interested in a relationship and not just something casual. (Although he may be open to casual also...but would be guarded about it.)

Ask yourself if you are open to a relationship with him. If so then letting him know you are not just looking for something casual may help. Doing that may help to lower his walls somewhat. (He may still not make a move, since he may not really know how...)

(Also, ask his friends if he has always been handsome, or if he was a late-bloomer...)

[jadiee25]

Have you tried talking to him? It is the best thing to do. Be gentle but let him know how you feel. Give it a couple of days before txting him again, then asking how he is feeling and if it would be ok to meet up so that you can talk. I think he does really care about you and like you but he is scared to make the move because he thinks that he will mess up or make you un happy. When you talk to him let him know that you like him and want to get to know him more. Tell him there is no pressure, that you are happy to take things slow if he wants and get to know each other more.

I am sure this will work. I have just stated going out with a shy guy my self who was very nervous and freaked out because he thought he would let me down and that he is . I sat him down and spoke to him about it. We worked things out and we are now going out with each other.

[Wasistdas]

This advice is horrbilde, as a shy myself such moves would be such a deterrant

[jennyrose]

Well I've totally been there. My advice would be to make sure he knows you really are into him and that's its not just another fling. and if you are make sure cause if he is looking for "the perfect one" and you later decide you not ready for something so serious right now then if might ruin the chance for yall in the future. Don't be afraid to be the first to take the step forward sometimes shy guys like that!

Hope it works out

[Atomizer]

As a shy guy, I can say you might need to be more direct with him than with other guys.

You might have to ask him for a date. You might have to kiss him first, and second!

Be patient with him, because shy guys can withdraw when they're nervous. If he feels afraid or nervous, he might pull away from you. Remember that he's not rejecting you. Don't take it personally, and let him know that you're still interested in dating him.

Be persistent, but also be gentle and patient. The relationship might move slower than with other guys.

Good luck!

P.S. Your English is very good!

[Anonymous]

He is shy because he cares for you and love you dearly... yet he doesn't want to make any mistakes with you... because he cares. I guess it's hard for many women to understand. I believe in my opinion being shy could be a positive character... because he doesn't want to mess anything up... because he picture being with you... to be perfect... like a movie. Good luck, and God Bless. =)

[Anonymous]

Your English is fine.

As for what to do, I think you should contact him. If he is shy, and he's never had a girlfriend, I think it'd make sense he wouldn't be making big moves.

[StaticDan]

If he's never had a girl friend then he may not make moves because he isn't sure how? Maybe? I don't know, But if you make the first move he'll respond