What do you define as a SHY guy?

[Anonymous]

it seems to me that being shy or not being shy clears up a lot of mystery when a girl tries to figure out of a guy likes him.

now tell me, what exactly defines a shy guy.

i mean, there are guys who are shy in general with everyone, quiet, don't participate, don't have a lot of friends, have mellow convos

then there are guys who are popular, talk to girls and make friends easily, hangs with his boys, goes clubbing drinking, and is even friends with madddddd female friends, but can these guys be 'shy' to the one girl he really likes?

is it a specific behavior displayed to ONLY ONE person, or a general trait in someone displayed to EVERYONE?

[Atomizer]

Generally, shyness applies to ALL situations. Shyness is usually defined as apprehension, lack of confidence, oversenstivity to criticism, and self-consciousness. The degree of shyness can vary in different situations, but shy people tend to be shy in most settings.

Part of the confusion also comes from misunderstanding shyness and introversion. Most introverts are not shy. More extroverts are shy.

I used to think of myself as extremely shy, but now I understand the truth is more complex. I can be nervous when talking to girls, for example, but I'm usually the first person to speak up in class. A shy person would avoid speaking up in class at all costs.

[Asker]

I like your explaination! thank you. makes sense. but are you an intro or extrovert? are you trying to say it depends on the situation, and if an outgoing guy (extrovert) can be confident in speaking up in class and making lots of friends of the opposite sex, they can be shy to the only girl he actually has feelings for?

[Atomizer]

I'm an introvert. I like people and socializing, but only in small doses. Extroverts recharge while socializing; introverts recharge when they're alone.

Yes, a guy could be outgoing in most situations, but shy about talking to girls he likes.

[Massapealer09]

Oh yea there can be a shy guy in any guy no matter if he is popular or not. I think one way is that in your 2nd situation where the guy may be shy with the one girl he likes, he will usually hold back on things he would normally just come right out and say. Another one is that he may be afraid to get physically closer to you rather than when he is with one of those other chicks he has no problem putting his arm around their neck or sitting next to them because he sees her as a buddy and doesn't expect to take it past that.

[Asker]

Wow that clears up a lot...thank you for the cool answer! this guy he never touches me inappropriately, I mean he finds excuses to touch my hand or bump into me and stuff, but he doesn't come attack me or anything, and with other chicks, I've seen him fool around and pick them up, swing his arm around her, have like a catfight...and I see that as flirting, and sometimes I mistake him for being a player, am I wrong? because with me he's different, he gets to know me at a personal level and is shy

[Massapealer09]

Yea dude he probably does like you and I would say there is a slight chance I'm wrong but I know there is this girl that I'm crushin on and we hug but I seriously hold back on a lot at the same time. Like there is so much I want to do with her, like little physical stuff like hold her hand and hold her and pf course kiss her but its like I'm unsure so I keep everything at a limit because I dnt want to mess up what we have. I mean I'm not seein a player from what you said

[Asker]

Awwww that makes a lot of sense! see we girls are emotional and take that as mxed signs he's not interest if he doesn't like touching us like those other girls...but after what you said it makes me feel special noww because it means the guys respects me, awww yay! hahaha, just let ur girl know sometimes you like her by finding excuses to touch her, then blush and see if she smiles =D

[Asker]

One time the guy I like, I did him a favor, and he came to thank me and jkingly said I love uuuuuu the first time, and then later I was sitting next to him and he said thank you again and he like gave me a pat on the back...and it made me feel like I was some tomboy bud of his, or a girl who is one of the guyssss...did I take it the wrong way? I mean when do you hear a pat on the back be referred to as flirting?

[Massapealer09]

Lol thanks I'm glad to have made you feel at least a bit but yea if he is like me then he is feelin you. Umm as for that, the pat on the back is something I mite do if I was real nervous at that time because I couldn't think of what to do exactly. I usually plan out situations like if one thing happens then I'll do this or if another happens I'll do that but I get stumped sumtimes and when I do I get nervous

See girls dnt realize this but I dnt know if you've compared yourself to the chiks he hangs out

[Massapealer09]

With but if ur like a lot of us you have, some guys dnt pick the hottest. If ur cute and we can hang and chill with us then we can easily fall for the cute girl that gets us. I'd take that girl over the hottest girl in my crew any day, Not saying that's you because you very well may be hotter than the girls uve seen him with. If you guys connect like that then maybe you are his pic to want to be with.

[Asker]

He did say I am cute =D

[Massapealer09]

Lol

NICE your cool then

[cuagain24]

when you talk to him wanting a real convo, and all you get is a yes or no answer. OR he just doesn't talk so much, yet he talks when he feels like it and what's on his mind... unless its like personal

[Reeses-pieces777]

a shy guy is someone who I think should be generally more thought ful and he isn't a conversation starter, he's someone I would have to give ideas to and motivate a little to be more outgoing.

[cinnawaffls]

Not to be cocky but I am one of the most popular guys in school.

I have no trouble hitting on girls or mking friends and better yet, I act smart with teachers and they always end up laughing instead of getting angry.

Yet, the girl I like... I just can't seem to talk to her in person, I get too nervous.

[Asker]

Aww haha, so will you go months without calling her because ur afraid?

[pezzonovante88]

It can be both. If I were to describe a shy guy in a relational context (ie myself), I would say he is not particularly shy around people in general, just a bit reserved, he has friends and goes out with them, he is just shy around girls he finds attractive.

[BlueGender]

Being mellow certainly does not make a guy shy. Whered you get that?