Boyfriend lied to me about smoking for 8 months in the relationship... What do I do? (Page 2)

[Anonymous]

How could he have been secretly smoking behind your back for 8 months? I mean, couldn't you smell it on him?

[Anonymous]

If you really love him then smoking shouldn't be even an issue.

As for the lying part had you pushed him to cut smoking saying something like "it's me or the cigarettes?

[CatholicVirginia]

I don't mean this to sound as though I'm attacking you, but why should smoking NOT be an issue? It's huge. It has been proven to cause health problems, so if she stays with him, she is going to be suffering and taking care of him because of this decision. What he's doing is inhaling a bunch of obligations and health problems. Also, smoking could affect her if he does it around her. More importantly, if they have children and he smokes around them, he's hurting them. Smoking is a HUGE issue.

[CatholicVirginia]

And finally, you can't really judge what is or isn't an issue for people. People have standards. Sometimes you agree with them, sometimes you don't. The POINT here is that he lied to her. No matter HOW she handled it, he should NEVER have lied to her. And what you're suggesting is an ultimatum, which is extremely disrespectful and usually the death of relationships. It's manipulative and commanding. No one with self-respect puts up with them. That's why you talk TO your partner, not AT him.

[Anonymous]

If it's a problem for you, then obviously confront him about it.

[Anonymous]

My aunt has been smoking behind my uncles back for 22 years. It's horrible and his pet peeve.

[chicken_nugget24]

Did ya break up in the end?

[hanff]

Support him to stop this Bad habit

[Anonymous]

Just be glad it wasn't heroin.

[Anonymous]

Weed or cigarettes?

[CatholicVirginia]

Does it matter? She doesn't like smoking period.

[Opinion Owner]

Chill out. This question wasn't about you.