Why would he lie about loving me for almost five months?

[hanzabean]

My ex just broke up with me yesterday. In essence he said that he had feelings for me, but it turns out that they weren't romantic after all. He said that he loved me (I said that I was falling in love with him first, but only after he said that he really liked me a lot -- which I took as him wanting to say that he loved me but being scared to do so).

Anyway, we lost our virginity to each other about three months in (it was a big deal for both of us because of our upbringing and morals I guess), and this quarter (we're both in college) I definitely noticed that he was being sort of distant and not making the time for me that he had last quarter when started dating/pre-sex. He's not the type of guy that would just say something to get into your pants, but I'm just so confused right now.

He said that he told me he loved me because he didn't want to hurt me? Also the premise for the break up was that he realized that my feelings for him were way deeper than his for me, and blah blah blah.

Basically I just want to know how someone could do this? He said he cares about me but couldn't see himself running off into the sunset with me and getting married (his words almost exactly). Also he waited to break up with me until the end of the quarter to minimize awkwardness for himself... unfortunately it was the night before my hardest exam.

Also, when we had sex he just revealed to me that he never came. I didn't know what to expect when a guy orgasms (and he said he faked it, also) so the fact that he didn't wasn't apparent to me. He said that he has delayed ejaculation, so despite the fact that I've given him blow jobs and we had sex several times I've never been able to have him cum. Now I sort of wonder if that is a function of him apparently never loving me (though I think he definitely used to feel something toward me or we never would have had sex).

Sorry this is scatterbrained but I wasn't able to sleep at all and I still have my exam to worry about.

[Emilymarie77]

He is an azzz - if he really ever cared for you at all, he wld have made sure the breakup was easy on you. You had intercourse because he wanted it - a guy will want it, whomever lets them take it. Don't make excuses for his lame behavior. He got into this relationship, knowing he had no romantic feelings for you - I guarantee it. So, it seems to me that he wanted you to be his first and with the guise of a relationship - that is easier to get accomplished.

As far as the orgams are concerned, if you never saw cum, - he didnt... if you did - he did.

[hanzabean]

I guess now I didn't see cum, he said it was just the lube inside the condom. I mean, whatever. If he lied about not being able to get off like most people then there's something weirder going on than the fact that he can only get off with his own hand, not my mouth or anything else.

[Emilymarie77]

U said it sister! It sounds like he definatelyhas some very disturbing issues. =S

[DaLastHNIC]

What goes around comes around sweety. You maybe a little hurt by him right now but its nothing compared to the damage that is going to come to him in the long run. Don't worry about him, you got a career to pursue. Its going to hurt to let him go but life goes on. Don't let him get your feelings wrapped around his fingers. He'll get what coming to him eventually. I seriously can't believe what I just read. Let him go and let god, you'll be fine.