I feel so damn ugly and I hate myself for feeling this way because of men?

[Anonymous]

I was out with some friends and they all got hit on by guys except for me. Yes, my friends were all dressed up in heels and had their hair done and I was there with sneaker and a bun just from work.

I was invisible to the guys. Now I am back home and I hate myself right now, I could literally cry. I am already insecure of my looks and this just beat me. I am so sad.

Any helpful words? Please?

Updates

+1 y

I didn't mean it "by men", just wanted to make it sound more dramatic

[xPoison]

"I feel so damn ugly"

The fact that you didn't call yourself ugly tells me your problem is all in here, (your mind) and that maybe you don't really think of yourself as unattractive. You have to work with your insecurity and try to see the positive traits that you like about yourself. Those physical traits that you dislike, you will have to be satisfy with them or try to play them up either with make up.

You have insecurity written on you. Its like a shy person and a confidence person walking inside a room. Who is going to get more attention? Most people will say the confident person because her confidence is being transmitted in her walk, she's looking up ahead and making herself appear "bigget" while the insecure person has already written in her forehead "failure," possibly looking down, quietness in her walk and made herself "smaller"

It's all mental hunny.

[Asker]

Yes, that is very true. When i realised I look like shot compared to them I could literally feel myself getting smaller and smaller.

[xPoison]

Your remedy?

It's all mental. Say to yourself you're the hottest beep out there. From there you start to work on your physical attribute and try to enhance them. Go ahead and Buy yourself a nice dress, some skinny jeans, some nice heels, and some accessory if it'll boost your confidence. If you don't believe, you won't be able to transmit.

[DanAG]

There are LOTS of guys who prefer sneakers over heals. If you are a sneakers kind of girl, do you want a sneakers kind of guy? Very likely you were in the wrong kind of place for that.

If you are a sneakers kind of girl who wants a decked out kind of guy, then it might be harder to match up because you are different kind of people.

So you just have to ask yourself what kind of guy you are attracted to. Any match-up can work, but a sneakers kind of girl and a sneakers kind of guy will be the easiest. Yea, sometimes there is some role playing involved, but you also need to stay true to yourself without going too far out of your comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

Christ. If you saw a group of guys, and all but one of them were dressed up and classy looking, and the other guy was dressed like a bum, how much attention would you be giving him?

You looked bad compared to your friends, who were dressed up. That's fucking normal. Get over it.

[Asker]

Its not so easy to just "get over it" when you have serious self issues

[Mesonfielde]

"Because of men"

Eh. Your friends looked desperate. You looked normal.
Of course you look invisible, you seem like someone who wouldn't just jump into the bed after being bought a single drink at a shoddy bar.

Nothing to be sad about.

[harakiri]

Your... thought process is so... different than most guys, in my opinion :p

[Mesonfielde]

It used to be pretty much the same, hell it was even worse. Concepts, gender, nonsense everywhere. Then I grew out of it.

[JSmuve]

Try again but dress up with heels with your hair done up. If you still get the same results, then you have grounds for a case. Right now though, you set yourself up for this. Guys will go for the most attractive looking girls. Your friends were more attractive, ergo, got the attention. If you want attention as well then you need to step up your game to your friends' level.

[Asker]

I do get hit on when I dress up of course, even just in daily life when looking normal.
But this was kinda hard for me because I thought Im only appealing when i dress up, I dont always look like that, so guys like only my fake, dressed up me.

[JSmuve]

At first glance, yes, guys only like the fake dressed up version of girls. Do you think if your friends walked into the club looking like they came in scraped off the streets that they would've got the attention they did? Nope. Any attention that anybody gets at the bar/club is purely superficial.

I'm sure you have a wonderful personality, but you're not showcasing your personality when you go to a bar/club. You're showcasing everything else.

[Anonymous]

Looks don't matter as much as you think they do, you know? Maybe you shouldn't be hanging around at a bar when you feel like this. You'll find a guy who'll look past your appearance and love you for you, so don't worry! I mean, I've never seen you before... so I have no idea how you look, but I guess that's the point I'm trying to get across.

You could just be looking for a one-night stand or something, so maybe I'm not the right person to listen to.
Good luck, and maybe see someone about your self-esteem?

[loda1994]

you probably doesn't look as ugly as you think. they had been dressed up you werent that is why guys hit on them and not you.
anyway if you are free watch an episode of plain jane that show shows the difference makeup and clothes can make.

[SuperNurse42]

Would you be brave enough to private message a picture of what you look like?

[DoriantheArtisan]

well you chose to be casual. i have xray vision. if you have nice features that are easily to make out, id certainly would have smiled at you and invited u for a drink far away from ure friends ;-)

[DanielGrant]

Have you been thinking about your friends simply seemed sluttier and men thought they are easier to get? :)

[Anonymous]

You'll get used to it. Like 95% of men are invisible to women. They overcome it by approaching women themselves.

[SaltandVinegar]

Well next time get all dressed up with heels on and see if guys hit on you.

[kleosmp]

me too when i go out with my friend girls always talk to him