My mom is being difficult, what should I do?

[Wassup]

We're having an argument about the food in the house. My stomach is very sensitive to sugar. I'm pretty much diabetic cause it runs in my family, but I definitely don't have a weight problem. I'm in football and I'm very fit and active. My body is very lean, but has big defined muscles so I burn through food very fast causing me to eat a lot. But I eat mostly healthy sometimes I'll have a bag of chips or maybe 2 or 3 cookies rarely. I always read nutrition labels and how much sugar everything has because if I eat too much it can make my stomach hurt. My friends can eat all the sugary stuff they want and not have any problems when if I eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes my stomach starts to feel pretty bad and I know its not good for me. This has led me to become a very picky eater and I only eat healthy foods and I usually only eat desserts that are lightly sweetened. When my mom goes shopping she usually buys what's on sale totally ignoring the nutrition labels, so the only snacks I can eat is cheap sugary sh*t. And my mom buys the expensive healthy foods for herself and she gets p*ssed if I eat them. And when she says she's bring me home something to eat she usually goes to a sh*tty fast food restaurant like Arby's and only gets me little roast beef sandwiches. Very rarely do I go to the store with her to pick out what I want and when I find something that's good for me she ends up eating it while I'm gone and when I confront her about it she says that I don't buy the food so she gets to eat whatever she wants, that fat f***ing bitch. I've tried being nice to her and telling her how this stuff is bad for me and she thinks its bull sh*t and she says that I eat whatever she buys for me. I also have a problem with drinking water. I drink gallons of water a week to keep me hydrated because if I don't drink enough my head hurts pretty bad. So she tells me that I'm drinking too much water and she's not going to buy anymore big filtered water jugs and she says I can just drink tap water. The tap water where I live is not good for you and it actually has bad stuff in it. Its drinkable, but the stuff in it affects you in the long run. I'm so p*ssed and frustrated that she doesn't even care about my well being. I know she has the money to do it she just wants to spend it on things that benefit her. My dad pays her $800 a week to spend on food water and clothing for me, but I believe my mo spends the money somewhere else and not on what I need the most. I could have it worse, but this is simple stuff that can easily be take care of. My moms just being a bitch. I really want to do something about it. Any help?

[bitesizedonut]

Sounds like you definitely inherited a sense of self-entitelment from her, if nothing else. First I'd like to say that people are not "pretty much diabetic." It's not a medical diagnosis. There are three categories of diagnosis for diabetes mellitus: type 1, type 2, and gestational, so if your mom thinks you are being overly dramatic about your food sensitivities, I think she is being reasonable there. A lot of people get stomach aches after consuming large amounts of sugar. This isn't diabetes. If you want the kind of foods you like, I suggest going to the store with her more than "rarely." It will ensure that you get the types of food that you want. I would say that to prevent her from eating your food, it would be best to buy things that can be made to eat and that are not "ready to eat." So instead of buying a pre-made cold cut sandwich, you should buy bread, and sliced turkey, and all the fixings. Your mom isn't going to eat a whole loaf of bread in one sitting by herself (and if she is, then she has a problem and you may want to sit down and have an honest, caring talk with her). If you really want to stir up a scene and you are really upset, you could always tell your father where his money is going.

Also, a change in perspective may help. It sounds like an attitude of gratitude may go a long way in making you feel less angry about the situation. Your mom after all doesn't necessarily have to buy you food (I know my fridge was often times empty growing up and I would sometimes go days without food or live on apples and peanut butter or bbq sauce and peanut butter tortillas), and she doesn't even really have to house you (I was kicked out of my house and had the locks changed on my several times - btw - It wasn't because I was a bad kid either. I didn't go to parties, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, and I finished high school with a 3.2 average, was on the varsity chess team and the junior varsity softball team with a 15,000 dollar scholarship to go to a private art school, etc... you get the point). Perhaps if you are so fed up with it all, you should undertake a part time job - you need job experience to get into the working world any way - the later years of high school is a good place to start being responsible for yourself.

Good luck - hope things settle up. If you can't be grateful, maybe you can forgive. This too shall pass.

[Wassup]

It sounds like you had it worse. I'm sorry. But eating healthy snacks when I'm hungry instead of scavenging and trying to find something with the least amount of sugar and that's good for me is a lot better. I would be grateful if my mom listened to me, but she just thinks I'm being picky. Aren't moms supposed to be grateful that their kids are begging them to eat something that's good for them instead of asking for a ton of cookies? I think my mom spends that $800 right to rent where it shouldnt

[bitesizedonut]

Trust me. I feel you on the misallocation of child support funds. There were times that I know my father's money didn't always go towards my wellbeing, but my mom was struggling more than I was at the time, so I couldn't fault her for doing this. She after all, used the child support funds to make sure that when she had custody of me she had a mobile home I could stay in, which was better than living out of a car.

[bitesizedonut]

I know it's going to sound silly, but I had a lot of the same thoughts when I was growing up, but now that I see just how hard it really is to make ends meet as an adult, I can see why my father spent so much time away from home and why times were so hard when neither of my parents worked. Large amounts of money seem like pennies to people who are dependent on others. 800 dollars is 3/4 of a month's work for some people, and yet it probably doesn't cover rent for most. :(

[bitesizedonut]

It might sound silly, but if you can, you may want to invest in a garden (if you have a yard and good soil). You could at least grow some tomatoe plants to help fill the gaps. Other than that, I used to have to go over to friends houses to get a decent meal. See if she can't get a costco membership so she can by healthier food (like granola bars) in bulk. Soon enough you'll be an adult and you'll have to provide for yourself. As little as it seems I ate as a minor, I ate less as an adult.

[bitesizedonut]

$50 a month for food just doesn't cut it - fortunately I was in college and so occasionally was able to pick up on free food events :) yay the life of starving college kids. Truly though, it'll get better eventually. Do the best you can and wait it out and try to forgive her at some point (even if it's not now - maybe later when you are on your own and taking care of yourself).

[Wassup]

Yeah. Well today I found out that my moms getting a layoff notice and there's a %50 chance that my mom won't have a job next year meaning that I might have to live at my dads. My dads house sucks. I have not friends there and half of it is in the ghetto. The sports teams around there suck too. I could have it worse. But my friends are the most valuable thing in my life. If you take them away I have a big hole left in me. I'd rather have my friends then nothing at all. Fuck My Life

[bitesizedonut]

The internet and the cellular phone has done wonders in being able to keep up with long distance friends. Also something I have learned in life: wherever you go there you are - and there are usually friends to be had along the way. Take from this what you will.

[Wassup]

Yeah. I didn't know how good I had it till now. Now literally everything is going down in the sh*tter. And before I was complaining over the food I have in my house and making a huge deal about it.