I saw a post on SM that made me really think about this. It was a clip from a tv show where a kid looked like he was gay, but he wasn't (typical family show gag and the mom seemed relieved) and it started this debate in the comments. How she should have accepted him even if he was and that the reaction was awful, and the others were more along the lines of maybe she was relieved because she knew how hard the convo was and how life would possibly be, honestly I just think it was a joke that everyone read WAY TOO deep into, but obviously I wanted to explore people's insight on it.
I just want you to think about it logically So ableist, homophobic, transphobic and fatphobic are things we hear a lot. You want to be accepted and obviously if you had a child and they were disabled, overweight etc. you would want them to be accepted, but my question is would you actively hope for your child to be like you in any of those ways?
Would you actually want your child to go through life not being considered "normal" knowing the hardships you faced, how difficult it was for you or would you want your child to grow up to be "normal and happy" and please don't 'you can be normal and happy, overweight, disabled or queer' you know the BS you had to go through.
I got bullied for my epilepsy, for being a "bulldagger"(bi and tomboy) or being fat, and I got bullied for being super pigeon-toed, and that runs in the family. I had people looking at my wal in disgust mocking it throughout school it wasn't until college that it stopped.
I would not want my child to have to endure any of that at all If I could. "I don't want to hear it made me unique" it made me go through years of trauma, reckless behavior, and self-harm. If I could have it my way. I would want my child to be by society's standards of "normal" but we can't pick and choose that and it doesn't mean I would hate them. I just know how hard it is and I'm not going to glorify how shit my upbringing was. Your thoughts?
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I've honestly decided not to have kids because of how my parents reacted to my being different than them. Specifically, my father.
My dad has a "type" when it comes to women, and he's made it clear to my mother that when she can't be that for him, he has no interest in her and it's very shallow. It's why she left him.
My father, though not directly, has given signs to me that he's never liked the path I've gone down in my life. I don't share his desire for money or work ethic, I'm not thin and pretty like my mother, I go against the church -- his favorite institution, and I have no desire to get married and do the whole nuclear family set up like he did. It's a very real sense of rejection that comes from him and I know that if I had a child that didn't meet my expectations, I would never want them to feel that rejection from me but I also know myself well enough to know that I would be shit at hiding it.
No, hell No.