Why am I so embarrassed by this?

Anonymous
OK, I was walking back to class from lunch then this girl who thinks she is my best friend even though half the time I want to pound her head against the floor until she bleeds because she is such a whiny little bitch that only thinks of herself. She came up behind me and grabbed the back of my neck screaming "Hey Kate!" in my ear even though she knows I prefer Kat over all my nicknames. I walked away and walked close to the wall because I liked to run my fingers across it as I walked. She ran after me and repeatedly shoved me against the wall as we walked when I turned to tell her tp stop ( which she didn't until we were back in 6th ) I saw my crush out of the corner of my eye. I yelled at her to stop in my overly hoarse voice from years of unused because I didn't really start talking until 6th grade. So no one really ever heard my actually voice because I speak in whispers to hide the hoarse-ness most of the time. She continues to shove me into the wall and I tell her with a meaningless threat that if she shoves me one more time I would knock her teeth out. She told me she would knock my teeth out before I knock hers out and she could take me. She is a big girl mainly in weight but I'm oddly small for my age consider most girls my age are around 5'4 while I'm 4'10. She continued shoving me and when I shoved back she punched me in the side making my ribs ache until the end of 7th. But, I can't get over the fact my crush witnessed it.
Why am I so embarrassed by this?
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